A Second Pause in My Search

Pausing for another day…..

Concentrating casually

on a restorative chat with a friend over coffee after a busy workday.

An evening’s rest ~ grateful for the pause.

“Rest and be thankful.”

~ William Wordsworth

Day Three: The Five? Days of Personal Archaeology

Project on hold. Just like many project schedules - plan a time frame and make sure it’s flexible.Work issues pre-empted my ‘dig’ while my mind keeps churning out ideas for where next to look while trying to avoid spreading myself too thin (just like momma said.). Grateful for my ability to be flexible!

“Flexibility is an art of creating a way out within the cul-de-sacs.”

~ Mehmet Murat ildan, Turkish playwright

Day Two: The Five Days of Personal Archaeology

The first things I unearthed in the Archaeological Dig for the documents required by our government were jeans. I had pulled out a couple of boxes from the bottom of my closet and found a large blue plastic tub. With several pieces of clothing in it. What?! What are these doing in here? An awesome surprise! If I  give any items away, I put them in a bag that ultimately gets taken to a drop box for clothing. The treasures? A white pair of jeans, a purple pair of jeans, a black pair of walking shorts (really good ones), a shirt and an old sweater. So, the jeans were immediately tried on and they fit! Guess they had gotten bigger since last I saw them - or could I have gotten smaller? They all went in the laundry or in my sewing basket for re-design (meaning shorten the sleeves). 

As far as documents go, I’ve only opened the boxes I carted into the living room. There are a couple of binders in there that look hopeful, but who knows? And will I get them all organized when this whole project is complete? Hmmm……Just remembered, I have more files in a secondary filing cabinet where some of my art supplies are housed. I think there is a file in there I tucked away in my de-cluttering fray. If I recall, I think it had some immigration papers in it - something legal. Well, I guess that will have to wait for tomorrow’s episode.

Gratitude? For some newish comfy and lovely jeans and a bit of memory that just may provide some needed information.

“I’m an adventurer looking for treasure.”

~ Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Day One of The Five Days of Personal Archaeology

Filling out forms seems simple enough when any emotional content is removed. 

That is until speaking with a very Canadian voice on the phone saying - ‘And you will need to send us an official document stating when you left Canada for Texas and also when you returned to Canada from Texas.’  

My calm - sort of - reply - ‘From 20 and 30 years ago? What sort of official documents?’ 

‘Oh, an old passport, a letter of hire, ……’ At this point I tried not to stammer. 

‘But what if I don’t have anything like that?’ 

The calm, tiredly patient voice replied: ‘Well you could call the Human Resources office where you worked in each place and see if they still have anything on file.’

My head was swirling, thinking of all the boxes and a few files of saved papers. Thinking of all the times, in a fit of decluttering, I emptied files of what I had considered just more clutter. At the same time, knowing that a deep dive into the remains of a rampant decluttering might - just might - unearth the necessary paper work. Will this only take five days? Especially when the remaining four are work days?

Well, as Brené Brown, a vulnerability researcher says - ‘...draw deep on your courage’. For me, my courage has been so incredibly buried that even the thought of such an Archaeological Dig just about sent me running in the other direction. But what must be done, must be done. Gratitude? Grateful that I have some ruins to dig through - my 70 year self as well as boxes, binders and files

So, deep breath and here goes!

“It’s interesting to see that people had so much clutter 

even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was 

to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.”

~ Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

Ripples

Centred and calm

going deep into my heart ~

listening for whispers of hope,

finding the still place within

grateful for memories of living

that ripple and pool gently 

around deep, gnarled roots.

“I know my roots and I cannot forget the journey I made.”

~ Maria Sharapova

Room-Mates

Living with epilepsy?

A question from a stranger

difficult to answer when

epilepsy only lives with me ~

doesn’t show itself in 

unconscious flailing

a crash to the floor without warning

ragged, frightening breathing  

Epilepsy sleeps. Quietly tucked in my brain masked by a small bit of medication, calming and grounding with yoga and exercise

sleeping a good sleep each night - most of the time.

I offer a huge dose of gratitude 

and as long as I live with care ~

living with epilepsy is

easy, but not simple.

“It is not living that matters, but living rightly.”

~ Socrates

In Wind and Sun

A walk on the Ogden Point Breakwater, 
Visit with the goats at Beacon Hill Childrens Farm, 
summer's taste of chocolate dipped soft ice cream at Beacon Hill Drive Inn 
meeting up with Corette and other family members for our walk at Whiffenspit. 

In wind and sun

we held close together

at Sooke’s Whiffenspit

grateful for family love.'

“To us, family means putting your arms 

around each other and being there.”
~ Barbara Bush