An Open Definition 2 ~ DISCOVERY ~ Writing Exercise

Daring

Innovation

Surprise

Creativity

Opportunity

Vulnerability

Enthusiasm

Respect

Youthful

“I don’t know what’s behind the curtain; only that I need to find out.”

~ Richard Paul Evans,  Lost December

Doubling Up

My mind has been occupied with issues other than writing this month. Consequently, I left this assignment until late this morning. I did bump up against a difficulty as I sketched it out, but was able to work suitable word-crafting.

Doubling Up

I’ve accomplished two things today. Actually more than two things, but for the purposes of this Writer’s group assignment, it is only two things. The topic for today: your Zodiac sign. My sign on the astrological Zodiac chart is Sagittarius. Once more I turned to Professor Google and was rewarded with an interesting surprise. Simone de Beauvoir was the featured Sagittarian at hellogiggles.com. A quotation from that site is……“de Beauvoir was adventurous and a philosopher - key Sag traits - who was obsessed with the human struggle to be free which is also something the independent-minded Sag is obsessed with.” This was in reference to her book from 1949 The Second Sex, which is on my reading list. The discovery of a fellow Sagittarian and a possible book suggestion for next years book group were the two things accomplished. My only disappointment is that Simone de Beauvoir’s birthday is actually January 9, 1908 - making her Zodiac sign Capricorn - not Sagittarius! I do hope Capricorn has similar character traits. 

“Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are pliable.”

~ Mark Twain

A Long Way to Go

Passport pictures make me look absolutely criminal - or at least really angry. I might as well be holding a number in front of me. Neither of the Passports I found will be of any use to me. But I won’t throw them out. In fact I’ll be very, very careful about what papers I do cull from now on. This paper trail I’ve been on for the past week, except on my work days, has turned up possibilities only. Except for the strong suggestion in the air to make some phone calls. And of course to get the papers I do have in order. 

This last leg of my search got me a little emotional. In my big box of pictures, there were so many memories of loved ones that have left this world. And not just pictures. Things like my dad's old pocket note pad, dusty and grimy from the field or the shop. While I was not looking forward to this Personal Archaeology, I am so grateful that I dug deep on my courage to do so. I found meaning in my life in hard copy. From a chubby baby in a basket to a grandma, the geeky kid with cat’s eye glasses in photos from the late 1950’s married, had a family and a nursing career. My life spread out all over carpet, desk and table showed that I have come a long way. And still have a long way to go.

I believe we all have such journeys. The details, names and places are usually different but our lives tell stories of what made us who we are today. Stories that are important to the world that we live in. We may never have our fifteen minutes of fame, be wildly rich or be the poster child for our careers, but our lives matter to our families - our children and grandchildren (or grand-dogs and kitties), our parents, our siblings and everyone whose lives we have touched. 

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; 

but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

~ Ursula K. LeGuin, 

The Left Hand of Darkness

A Paper Life

I have my paper trail all laid out. On the bed, on the card table, on the top of my desk and one or two things on the floor. Some of the files are in order. The telephone bills and the utility bills. I have found one or two more things that may be helpful, however I am coming close to making some long distance calls! What I have learned is that when you start looking for that proverbial needle in a haystack, you have much more hay than you bargained for! And in so many little cubbyholes! I have at least two places left to go through. Oh, I’m keeping everything spread out! I want to cull the duplicates - there’s a lot of them - and create a better order of my paper life.

A paper life. In the paperless world that has been talked about for so long, and has yet to come, we still need a paper trail. Like cookie crumbs we drop through the years to lead us back to a starting place when we need to find our way again. It has actually been quite fascinating to piece together, bit by bit, where I have been, how far I have travelled in life, and where I have arrived today. Certainly there are gaps, or I wouldn’t still be on the hunt, but my memory fills in many of the gaps with faces and names, struggles and joys. Have I found any regrets? A few, but without them I would not have gained important self knowledge. For that I am grateful! 

“Tossing away a piece of paper is clearly taboo.”

~ Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

Moving Forward ~1

Archaeology is a such big word. 

Finding twenty and thirty year old official papers - a big job. 

Fearsome potholes have been encountered!

Packages of photographs (and a tiny note from a very tiny niece, Daisy)

Letters from patients

Notes from colleagues from my Texas days

Reams and reams of writing about addictions nursing

Didn’t poke through any of it despite itchy fingers

From it all I’ve found two…

only two…..pieces of officialdom with possibility

I am grateful though as the dates are close!

More searching tomorrow

Something with dates more accurate.

“For there is nothing lost, that may be found, if sought.”

~ Edmund Spenser, The Faerie Queene

Entitlement

After working through four shifts when the body has grown weary, the mind emptied of words, the only solution is some Sofa Time along with gratitude for the time and motivation to rest.

“A day of Rest is always needed.”

~ Solange nicole

- Personal Archaeology search returns tomorrow.

A Memory Unearthed

It was an old memory

Unearthed in my search

For government documents

A bit faded but not tattered

 ~ a greeting card

from a patient long ago

He was a young scrappy guy

temporarily wheelchair bound

with a smile and laugh for us all

I am grateful to this young fellow

and the gratitude I’ve had from patients

across many miles and many years.

Addiction is a terrible disease

that breaks the spirits of far too many in this world.

Gratitude breaks through that darkness.

“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.”

~ Henry Ward Beecher