Self-Doubt - Not Invited

Self doubt never wants cheery laughter, not worn on a sleeve like a heart.

An ear-worm of chatter and whispers about make believe weakness and lack.

What does bring laughter and cheer, is friends sharing an evening of fun.

Whispery ear-worms are silenced with merry sounds of strength and abundance.

“Never open the door to a lesser evil, for 

other and greater ones slink in after it.”

~  Baltasar Gracian, 

The Art of Worldly Wisdom

Early Morning Trickster

Opportunity for the gremlin of self doubt rose in wee hours of the still darkened morn, when clouds rolled in and early summer rain drenched dry earth.

That trickster perched on my bedpost, catching my dreams as I awoke, hatching plans to trip through my day but I foiled that old gremlin once more!

With hot coffee, warm housecoat and an unfolding mystery, I began to ignore that self doubt. A hot soapy shower washed most of the dreamy gremlin right down the drain but still I felt a bit off focus so stretching and bending with yoga loosened any clingy strands left behind. My morning walk in the park under grand dripping old trees cleared off the gremlins remaining foggy wisps.

The wispy presence of the gremlin of self doubt offered me the opportunity to open my day on my own terms! (And then I got in my car and went to a productive workday!)

“In the morning I woke like a sloth in the fog.”

~  Leslie Connor, Waiting for Normal

Check out this TEDx Talk on Self-Doubt

TEDX TALKS: ELAN MORGAN'S "SELF-DOUBT AND THE POWER OF PERSONAL NARRATIVE" AT TEDXREGINA from 2012.

Listening to Voices - Repost - Revised

Self doubt - an inside job
A very personal and individual inside job.
Self doubt - an inside voice.
Quietly driving and energizing 
poverty of self-esteem.
Transition from self-doubt to healthy self-esteem
is a steep climb up a rocky cliff
never sure of footing
loose pebbles beneath
unfamiliar terrain
handholds and footholds
the roots of trees and dry grasses
threatening to trip, break bones and spirit.
Easier to stay at the bottom of the trail
in familiar but ugly terrain
unwilling to see that there are steps up and out
unaware of beauty and growth along the way
space and air at the rise of each summit.
Courage in each faltering step
also an inside job,
has a quiet voice of strength.

“Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever

you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing

to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.”

~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Tribute to Umbrella Society for Addictions and Mental Health

Self-doubt goes deep in active addictions.

It does not pass as easily as all of the water that’s gone under the bridge.

The staff from the Umbrella Society for Addictions and Mental Health stand with individuals as they find their minds, hearts and souls in early sobriety.

Gordon, Sharlene, Christopher, Evan, and Angela are ever ready to help, to guide and to support through the journey of recovery from this dreadful disease.
The Board of Umbrella Society supports and steers this wonderful organization.

Thank you for all ~ for everything ~ that you do for ‘those that still suffer' ~ for all the kindness that you show 'til self-doubt is calmed.

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

~ Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

umbrellasociety.ca

wecanhelp@umbrellasociety.ca

250-380-0595

Trickster vs Trickster

Self doubt can be quite a trickster. 
Pretty sour, dour and gray. 
Redirecting any ideas

that spark along the way.
There is another trickster 

that lights a flame or two
Curiousity is that trickster’s name
and dislikes self doubt through and through
When curiosity takes hold of thought,
of mind, and heart and soul
self doubt must take a far back seat
so curiosity can search out its goal.

“Old timidity has disappeared, and is replaced by silent, 

quaint fun, with which his face twinkles all over, as he listens.”

~ Thomas Hughes, Tom Brown’s Schooldays

Stepping Out ~ 1

For November of last year, my theme was Invisibility. I also tend to discuss little bits about aging from time to time. I’m edging into acquaintance with aging - just barely though and really don’t intend to give into the process!

Self doubt and invisibility seem to wander close to each other from time to time. Just a thought. As we leave the world of what we’ve often called ‘the daily grind', some also seem to leave their confidence behind, hanging it on the hook behind the staff room door on their way off and away. So far for me, retirement is still just a topic of discussion and very fortunately so.

For those of us with careers and friendships limited to colleagues and conferences, stepping out on the sidewalks and in the coffeeshops without the mantle of our careers can be awkward, if not a bit lonely. The danger is isolation within neighbourhoods, towns, or cities. It can be so very easy to begin to doubt ourselves in this new role of semi retired or retired, trying to find our place without guidance from policies or protocols.

But for those of us that have gathered a life around us with friends and activities that have little or nothing to do with the workaday world, the step into the outside world is not quite so awkward. Still there is a different cloak of confidence that must be tailored and worn for this new world. One that settles around our shoulders sheltering us from the self doubt of aging as we begin to mix with a wonderful variety with men and women while the clock still turns within each open day.

“Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.” 

~ Harry Emerson Fosdick

Changing Choice

Deflecting self doubt gets difficult when choices bound like a tennis match against an expert, whacking the ball of choice back and forth

which is better? - you’ll never get it right.

how much does it cost? - you don’t have enough.

I’ll get it by Friday - you give up by Thursday.

It really is what I want - But you don’t need it.

How many choices are there? - Choices are never ending.

Deflecting self doubt may be difficult, but not impossible when choices are narrowed to fit one’s life, refusing to play the game of ‘not good enough’ but rewriting the rules and insisting on change.

“Very little is needed to make a happy life;

it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.”

~ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations