Barriers for Shame

Addiction - what a topic to choose for a theme!

How to write about a disease that creates such havoc, 

with hopes for a credible suggestion that there is a need 

for compassion for the folks that are afflicted with the disease of addiction?

And who really knows who is addicted?

Someone may be drunk, stoned, high or intoxicated,

but that doesn’t mean addiction has come knocking at their door.

There is much more to the disease of addiction.

Families of alcoholics and addicts can certainly tell you in great, 

and sometimes very horrific, detail about more than a little intoxication.

Oh, certainly there are diagnosticians in our medical community that, after matching symptoms and signs to an individual can come pretty darn close, if not right on the bull’s eye, to diagnosing an individual’s addiction.

However, it really is the addicted one, the alcoholic, that truly knows how affected they are by their ‘drink or drug of choice’. (Such a quaint turn of phrase!) And, by extension, knows that they alone are responsible owning their addiction.

In a society where drugs (yes, drugs) and alcohol are socially acceptable in many ways, forms and times, marketers advertise many addictive and addicting products, including nicotine products, shame creates barriers for these folks that they must face 

in order to find sanity and sobriety.

• the shame of being a belligerent, or violent, angry, or mushy, and maybe even psychotic individual or all of the above

• the shame of not knowing how to participate in many forms of celebration without drugs or alcohol

• the shame of being unable to control the effects or amounts of alcohol or drugs

• the shame of being shunned, pitied, disliked, even hated because of intoxicated behaviour.

• the shame of just being and, I’m certain, there is shame as individual as a finger print.

A clamour of voices rises up in great anger and frustration -

‘Well they should be ashamed of themselves! 

Look at what they’ve done to the family, to me, to the children, to the community..................’

So my question is - 

Do we want sobriety for folks so our lives better, 

or so their lives, inside and out, are better?      

And which should come first?

“I really thought I was on the way out. My husband Blake 

saved my life. Often I don’t know what I do, then the next 

day memory returns. And then I am engulfed in shame.”

~ Amy Winehouse (14 September 1983 - 23 July 2011)

One Flag Flying - U.S.A.

Independence Day ~ the Fourth of July, a federal holiday in the United States, as Canada Day is here in Canada.

I wanted to continue my theme about addiction tonight

but how does that fit honorably into an Independence Day celebration?

Independence Day ~ celebrating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence signed on July 4, 1776 declaring independence from Great Britain. 

Since then,  during the American Revolution and on July 2, 1776 the legal separation of the Thirteen Colonies from Great Britain occurred, with documents signed on July 4, 1776 ~

political debate and finagling have 

developed American federal laws and national personality and 

added more territories to make up the great land that we know as the United States of America.

Two topics ~ so very diametrically opposed!

A celebration of national pride by all citizens of the U.S.A.

vs

addiction, one more chronic disease of major proportions

that affects too many of America’s citizens.

I guess any more discussion about addiction on this lovely summer celebration day would best be left until tomorrow.

“Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.”

~ Abraham Lincoln

Description Wanted.........

Let’s see if I can describe active addiction:

Hmmmm - it must start with craving.

No - craving would only weasel it's way in to the brain, the body, after drugs or alcohol had been used for awhile.

Knowing a specific delicious taste wouldn’t happen until after tasting something delicious.

So let’s back up - 

when would the ‘first taste’ be?

As a teenager with the obligatory drink at the ‘legal age’? 

But what about marijuana, pain pills, benzodiapines for anxiety?

No - any teens that I have known certainly have had some form of alcoholic beverage, marijuana - maybe prescribed medications.

OK, so I don’t know what I’m talking about.

That first ‘taste’ can’t be in childhood!

Surely drugs and alcohol would be kept away from children - wouldn’t they?

Oh, yeah there was that guy that started using crystal meth when he was seven, because his parents were dealers and it was all over the house. But his sister didn't get addicted, so where does that fit?

But babies? Surely there’d be no ‘first taste’ there.

Except - some babies have a teeny tiny taste of alcohol in their bottles to help them get to sleep. (In days gone by, a colic preparation had a pretty high alcohol content.)

Oh, I forgot - 

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, 

Fetal Alcohol Effects, 

Fetal Drug Effects

No ‘taste’ there, merely systemic effects that can haunt an individual’s life affecting learning, sleeping, and socializing - until an opportunity for a ‘first taste’ shows up.

In any or all of those years, 

surely somebody would have taught their children

how to drink responsibly

not to use illegal drugs

to follow, to the letter, the doctor’s prescription.

Then if cravings occurred, it wouldn’t be a problem.  Right?

“Between good sense and good taste there lies

the difference between a cause and it’s effect.”

~ Jean De La Bruyere

Mis-Use of Language

The word ‘Addiction’ is thrown around throughout language with what appears to be a real lack of understanding about the depth of addiction. The word ‘addictive' is used as a temptor, a hook for advertising food, games, anything fun or enjoyable.

The inside of addiction is unknown to me, but I have watched the outside of addiction very closely for many years in my nursing career. The insides of the human brain and body are altered, challenged, and in general abused. Active addiction is anything but enjoyable - there may or may not be an element of fun or ‘high’ in early stages of drug or alcohol use, and even into abuse. However, alcoholics and addicts I have cared for, or have known personally, have told me that the fun stops at some undefinable point that is different for everyone. They are backed up by the research of learned academes over many decades.

Chasing the next drink or drug, keeping a stash, anger and deceit, remorse and regret replace the fun just to ‘feel normal’.  And it all leads to destruction of family ties, community ties and personal goals. 

Let’s be careful about double messages.

“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for

people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.”

~ Buddha

One Flag Flying

Canada Day, originally Dominion Day ~ The joining of provinces, and passage of legal acts, that began the process of loosening ties to Great Britain.

I wanted to write about addiction tonight but how would that fit graciously into any Canada Day celebration?

Canada Day ~ celebrating historic political achievements that 

birthed the Country of Canada from Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and the Province of Canada (now Ontario and Quebec). 

Since then, on July 1, 1867,

political debate and finagling have 

developed our federal laws and national personality, and 

added more territories to make up this great land.

Two topics ~ so very diametrically opposed!

A celebration of national pride by all citizens of Canada 

vs

addiction, one more chronic disease of major proportions

that affects some of Canada’s citizens.

I guess discussion about addiction on this lovely summer celebration day would be best left until tomorrow.

“I rise in support of a Canada in which liberties 

are safeguarded, rights are protected and the people 

of this land are treated as equals under the law.”

~  Paul Martin