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Saturday, February 24, 2018

Hibernation



vocabulary.com definition of Hibernation: 
‘the torpid or resting state in which some animals pass the winter.’

Susan’s definition:   
‘the torpid or resting state in which me, as a human animal, pass a morning, deep in my cozy bed with a good book, my iPad and several cups of coffee.’






“the comfort of reclusion, the poetry of hibernation.”
~ Marcel Proust, Swann’s Way


Friday, February 23, 2018

Waiting


A silent postcard from
an ancient graveyard
on a gentle winter’s day
with a depth of stillness
matched only by heavy fog. 

A calming city scene melted, 
 ~ green, shining wet, cold.

A lone bench left in waiting.



“It is very strange that the years teach us patience - 
that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.”
~ Elizabeth Taylor, A Wreath of Roses



Thursday, February 22, 2018

Their Own




Snow drifts crisp white lace
Stained glass and granite
Shivers yet stands firm
Each with their own depth of meaning.










“I like a good story and I also like staring at the sea—
do I have to choose between the two?
~ David Byrne, How Music Works

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Essay on the Chronic Brain Disorder of Epilepsy

As I edited, revised and entered on my laptop numerous writings about my experience with epilepsy, I came across this Essay. Once finished with revisions I realized that it had never been one of my blog posts. There were certain things missing that are on all my post copies, but I checked anyway. So today, I’m sharing this with you. I think my original goal was to go in a bit more depth about this uninvited guest. As I wrote it several years ago but never completed it, I may not have achieved my original goal. (I did learn today that epilepsy is a brain disorder not a disease.)

Epilepsy – idiopathic epilepsy no less! As a 19 year old and a new mom in nurses training this could not have been a worse piece of news. My oldest brother had epilepsy. But me? I had watched his first seizure, a full tonic-clonic seizure, one Christmas morning a very long time ago. It was really quite frightening in its sudden violence. I didn’t know that, in just a few more years, it would be me that frightened others.

How has that impacted my life? In the long run? Very favourably. My good fortune has been that I have not experienced a severely brittle form of epilepsy. However, the first ten years of my life with this uninvited guest were frightening and confusing to me and my family resulting in many anxious confrontations over whether or not I had taken my pills. My husband left for work many days worried that his children had been left in the care of someone who did not appear responsible for her own care. Our children were in the middle of our confrontations. It took me many years to get past my stubbornness and recognize that if I didn’t take care of myself, my children were potentially in danger when in my care.

Epilepsy, a chronic neurological brain disorder, is caused by a variety of things including scar tissue and altered brain chemistry.  A more confusing form is epilepsy known as idiopathic, meaning no known cause! Where there is no known cause, there is is no known cure, leaving me in an entirely vulnerable position. I felt powerless and alone. Conventional medication seemed the only solution, and was the only part of a solution that I recall being presented to me.

A solution did present itself when listening to those successfully active in Twelve Step programs practiced by those with addictions. Addictions you say! The recovery principles embodied in the Twelve Step programs are a set of guidelines that ultimately promote healthy living, just as a diabetic diet is a healthy diet for any human being!

Should I still go to my doctor then? Of course. If, like me, you require a level of pharmacotherapy for seizure control, a physician is the appropriate therapist. As that therapist, his/her job is to prescribe, provide education about the medication and encourage you to follow the directions given you. Those directions may in fact recommend lifestyle changes.There may also be health changes of any kind, including one's epilepsy status, that require further medical management by a physician.

“The question is not how to get cured, but how to live.”
~ Joseph Conrad

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

More Safety

An icy morning in Victoria!
Gun control? Improved parenting? Increased mental illness services?
OK, which is it? Any or all? Where do we start?

I’ve been struggling with this blog post today. I actually wrote it this morning in my journal and had started to copy it out but decided that bit of writing needed to stay in my journal. In essence, in the last many months and specifically in the last week, I have read articles, listened to radio discussions and heard opinions. Many opinions based on personal experience, and I have had some of my own related to gun control, improved parenting and increased mental illness services. Some opinions are just that - opinions - and some very biased ones at that. 

So I decided to go into some depth regarding the troublesome three issues. First of all, guns are things. Dangerous items that need some form of control beginning in the home. I would not presume to tell anyone what that control should be except to say it should promote safety, whether that gun is used for hunting or for any other reason. And yes, I don’t have a problem with hunting for meat.

Secondly, parenting. None of us has come into this world and presented our parents with a handbook on parenting. Even if we did, it could not cover all the trials and tribulations, joys and achievements of the various family members, including the illnesses that are not shared equally in this world. Parents learn from their parents how to raise a healthy, happy child. Of course the saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ is also true. Children learn from their extended family, from their teachers and from community members and need to sort it out on their own in many cases. Then there are those children who have no parental guidance or mentors, or who have ‘aged out’ from the world of foster homes.
Many children thrive and survive their growing up years in homes blessed with solid parenting, a healthy community and economic stability.

Finally, increased mental health services. For any illness, the appropriate health services are required to allow an individual to find health and relief in their life. In mental illness, conditions not necessarily symptomatic every second of every day, thought patterns, learning abilities, decision making, impulse control are all under assault. Each and every one of these individuals was someone’s child. Parents had to learn what to do, how to be a parent, without a handbook for these children. Mental illness can also occur, briefly or chronically at or during adolescence, in young adulthood, with the birth of a child, or at any other age or stage. Each area requires it's own care, compassion and treatment. As families, communities, and nations, we also need to talk about mental illness situations without rancour or criticism, but with the same care and compassion that we demand of our services.

So it comes down to my own opinion. Sorting out only one of these issues is not enough. Each one must be addressed in conjunction with keeping us all safe. Safe from within and safe from without. Gun ownership is a privilege, requires control and sense of does not choose a responsibility. Parenting is privilege, requiring respect and a sense of responsibility. Mental illness is not a privilege and not a choice, and it definitely requires more attention. Mental illness does not care whether one is nine or ninety. Mental illness requires more understanding, compassion and the services necessary to support a healthy life. It takes more than medication, more than a few group sessions, or scattered health services appointments for life to be safe.

“The desire for safety stands agains every great and noble enterprise.”
~ Tacitus

Monday, February 19, 2018

Reason

Do I need a reason
To be kind and compassionate
To see depth beneath any surface

Do I need a reason
To be curious about the world
To write and create stories, verse and song

Do I need a reason
To smile and laugh
To see goodness in everyone

Do I need a reason
To welcome family, friends and strangers
To welcome sunshine, wind, clouds, rain and snow

Do I need a reason
To celebrate my differences
To walk beside my memories

Do I need a reason
Just to be human

“The heart has its reasons which reason knows not.”
~ Blaise Pascal

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Ideal

A drowsy day
not much to say
except I hope your day’s been fine

not seeking depth
nor wanting more
except to read and read

a sleepy day
not much to say
except good night to all.

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
~ Mark Twain