A Day Off

Everyone needs a day off. Even us retired folks. So after just smidge of laundry, and a couple of hours of whatever else I did, I set off for Government House for tea with friends - and a ballroom full of other ladies, and one man. Before the tearoom doors opened we took a stroll through a display and sale of donated jewelry and china held monthly by the Government House Historical Society. At precisely 1pm we were ushered into the ballroom cum dining room. A pianist greeted us with Climb Every Mountain and accompanied us through our lunch of dainty sandwiches, tea and cakes. We talked. We laughed. 

My first visit to Government House in Regina on manicured, lovely grounds, and on such a beautiful day, was a real treat. 

“When I have a day off, 

I will have a day off.”

~ Andrew Flintoff

To Work My Dreams

Dreams are the ultimate trap  

when I don’t know how

when I’m afraid to ask for help

but they are so beautiful

I could look at them all day

until the sun threatens to set

~ a bridge from sky to ground

the only chance to free them

from the trap of my own making

landing gently on the ground

dreams are the ultimate purpose

to shape my life as a potter shapes

wet clay getting wet, dirty and tired

until the joyous work of the dream

frees my fears and is as beautiful as the sky.

“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. 

Go forward and make your dreams come true.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Something Small

Something Small

“Unless I’ve learned something new everyday, I don’t count it as a good day. Might be something so small that no one else notices it.” Grandfather and grandson were in the garden clearing it up for winter. 

~~~~~

“My grandfather was about to give me more of his wisdom of his ninety years. I really never minded it. When I was a teenager, I sometimes got annoyed with hearing the same old stories, but as I got older, I just loved hearing them.”

 “Kind of like when I watch TV reruns and know what the character’s going to say?” Richard and his grandson, Joey, were working on the garden he planted every year. “That’s right, son.” He raked over where they had pulled out all the spent potato plants. “Your grandmother’s going to be happy with all the potatoes we've found.”

“Grandfather! I found another one. It’s really tiny but is that what your grandfather meant?” He held up a tiny purple potato no bigger than the end of the old man's thumb. “Sure is. And if he found one like that, he’d get down on his knees and dig into the dirt to see if there were more. Sometime there wasn’t anything, but sometimes he find one or two more.” Then he’d say  “Alway pay attention to the little guy, Richard. He’s got friends that are just waiting to be noticed, to be looked after.”

“What happened to the potatoes he’d find?” Richard was ready to throw the little potato away. “Why, he’d gather up what he had, take them in the house and your great-grandmother would make a potato salad. And if there were a lot of little ones, she’d cook them up for supper.” 

~~~~~

Quiet settled on the back yard. Only the late summer sun, a junco chirped, and a breeze rustled the drying leaves. The two gardeners picked up their rakes and hoe and put them away in the shed. A spider web was draped across one corner of the fence by the shed. Richard stopped and watched the spider at rest in the middle of the web. In the past he would have ripped it off, paying no attention to the spider. He felt different. “Grandfather, what do you know about spiders?”

“I think it’s important to find the little things 

in everyday life that make you happy.”

~ Paula Cole

 

Chapter Two, Episode 152 - Clouded - Situationally Theirs

 Clouded

Time and money may be the only things that Samuel Forrester ever worried about. He had to talk to James about it. The season was growing short. Seemed it was shorter this year, or maybe he was just getting older. His joints did creak a bit now, ‘specially in the morning. Once he got going, things smoothed out so’s he forgot all about it. Maybe it was his season growing shorter. Who’d take care of all this garden and who’d help Miss Dez with the orchard and the bees? That’s where the money came in. Where would he go if he ever got so laid up he couldn’t work the land? Oh, he’d saved up money over the years. Didn’t have anyone to spend it on anyway. He wasn’t a clothes horse. Fixed up his truck whenever he needed to and babied it because he wanted to. Elizabeth wasn’t getting any younger either. But she wasn’t out in the weather like he was. The rain was finally coming down. It’d been hot and dry on the Island this summer. He had to spend more time and Miss Em’s money on keeping his plants alive. Grateful that the water pipes had been in good repair. A day off from the garden was a relief. “Days like this get me all mixed up about things.” Samuel washed up his lunch dishes and put them away. Hadn’t always taken the time to take care of things. The relationship he had with Elizabeth had changed all that. 

His cell phone buzzed. The call display told him it was ok to answer it. “Wonder what James wants.” He picked up his phone and walked out on his back porch. Sheltered from the steady soft rain, he spoke into the little gadget. He just couldn’t call it a telephone. Telephones had proper receivers, solid and just set for one purpose. “James. Just about to call you. What’s up?”

“With this rain, I suspected you weren’t busy. Do you think you could come up to the manor? Miss Emelina and I are reviewing the budget for the garden, the orchard and the rest of the yard this afternoon and we’d like you in on our discussion.” Another of Samuel's worries. How much money was he really spending on the whole place? He didn’t have any plan, just got what he needed and gave James the receipts. He tried to keep a lid on his spending, but James kept the receipts and had never told him to tighten his belt. They’d worked like that for years. He smoothed the wrinkles on his brow. “What time? I can come up right now. Just had lunch and not doin’ anything this afternoon.” He’d get a chance to find out how this year had been. They should have been doing this all along. If he could maybe get somebody to work with him, so there’d be somebody to take over when it was time. Like that young man...Tucker was his name? He’d talk with Miss Em and James about it. How it would fit in the budget. Even just one day a week. That boy’s still in school, so weekends. He took a real interest in the place, but had to stop coming.

~~~~~

A fly on the wall would have heard raised voices in James office. “What are those two old fools fighting about, Martha? Not like them. Samuel sure looked worried when he came in here. That’s not like him either.”  The two women stopped what they were doing, their attention on the closed office door. “Elizabeth we just need to keep working and let them alone.” She really wanted to go in and learn what it was all about. 

“Samuel, settle down.” James Digby had never heard Samuel raise his voice. “Miss Emelina will be here soon.” Costs had skyrocketed over the last few years of the pandemic. Shortages, backed up supplies, gas prices up. Samuel knew all that, but hadn’t known the totals of it all. Neither did Miss Emelina. There would have to be cut backs to all the yard care, including garden and orchard. Unless they could come up with a way to make a profit from the fruit and vegetables, they would have to have a much smaller garden. Samuel hadn’t liked hearing that. What James didn’t know, was that it made Samuel’s worries about his own time running out much worse. He had wanted to ask for help for the garden, and he was hearing ‘no’ before he asked the question. For the first time in years, he felt the weight of his solitary life. Solitary, but dependent on the good graces of his employer. “You’re right, James. Guess I’d just better hush and listen to you and Miss Em. I’ll talk when it’s time. Let me go get some tea.” James was tempted to go with him, but decided he needed to be left alone. He hoped that his friend was all right. 

“Elizabeth, is there fresh tea?” He took an old blue mug from the cupboard. “Just finished steeping, Samuel. What are you and James in a stew about?” She filled his mug. “Nothin’. I’m just a cranky old man today. Rain sure is welcome, but the clouds are sittin’ heavy on my head today.” Returning to the office, he still felt angry but not at James, at his situation. He’d have to sort it out himself. He’d listen to what Miss Em and James had to say, put is two cents in when he could and when he was home…..maybe tomorrow……he'd make a plan for himself. In a secret place in his heart he hoped Elizabeth could be part of his plans.

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

~ Mitch Albom

Whoosh!

Individual moments

blossom quietly

to vanish in an instant.

“Enjoy the moment. You won’t have it again.”

~ Frank Sonnenberg, The Path to a Meaningful Life

Two Sides of the Street

Loneliness and solitude are two completely different things. I have felt them both. When I am lonely, I feel cut off, unloved and unwanted; feeling very sorry for myself, and that no one really understands me or wants to understand me. It’s a very bleak, frightening and empty feeling. Beauty and joy are singed badly around the edges. Incredibly melodramatic! 

When I am in a state of solitude, I feel whole. Excited about life, I know I am loved and wanted. As far as that cut off feeling? It’s my responsibility to reach out to others. Reaching out can be because I am lonely, or because I’ve not connected with my loved ones, or both. Disconnection does go two ways. In a state of solitude, even the tiniest flower is beautiful. My heart will feel joy in my world as it is; great sadness for the tragedies in the lives of others.

There is narrow path between the two states of being. Maybe they are two sides of the same street. Solitude going on too long can slide silently into loneliness. Just like a treasured gift ~ if solitude is not appreciated and cherished, it can become a dark and broken loneliness. 

“I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people; 

that each protects the solitude of the other.”

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

 

Just Because ~ 2

Orange and Watermelon Swirl

Over time, ice cream cones have maintained a singular popularity. Despite that draw, there seems to be a teeny, tiny bit of guilt attached them. More than a just dessert, they are an extra special treat. Birthday parties, road trips, at the fair, on the way to the football game, and of course, just because. The fact that it’s 30°C was a real winner. Would it spoil my supper? Not a consideration. 

“A ‘treat’ is different from a ‘reward’, 

which must be justified or earned. 

A treat is a small pleasure or indulgence 

that we give to ourselves just because we want it.”

~ Gretchen Rubin