A Pause

The blank page stares at me

with its single white eye 

   ~ ideas flown,

     ~ fantasies buried 

       ~ memories deep in the past.

And so I let creativity rest.

     ~ just for tonight

“The principle of art is to pause, not bypass.”

~ Jerzy Kosinski

I Am From

I am from an old barn and wooden granaries long gone,

dust motes sliding down sunbeams through tired roof and walls,

from an ancient saddle, desiccated and worn

atop a old fence - a feisty mustang riding a far away range

I am from quilts of golden grain, purple flax and yellow mustard, long train whistles, grumbling tractors and dusty dirt roads, 

glittering sunshine and abundant gardens gathered into the kitchen,

from corn husks, canners full of peas or beans,

I am from a plentiful pantry and freezer filled for wintertime meals 

and feasting from all those things that grew our large, noisy family.

“It’s always good to remember where you come from and celebrate it. 

To remember where you come from is part of where you’re going.”

~ Anthony Burgess

 

Crumbles

Cinnamon crumbled blossoms

in love with the sun

gently lean from leafy shade.

“O fairest flower! No sooner blown but blasted,
Soft silken primrose fading timelessly.”

~ John Milton

Chapter Two, Episode Fifty-One - Time To Care - Situationally Theirs

Time To Care 

Her legs felt stiff. The sheets were cold. Coming out of a morphine haze, Dez was confused. Her bed just felt so strange. She’d have to get a new mattress. She reached for her lamp but it wasn’t there. Opening her eyes to a strange room, she was frightened. “Where am I? This isn’t my bed. What are these bars on the bed? Is this a hospital room? I can’t sit up - my legs are so sore.” Dez sank back on the pillow. It was so flat and hard it could have been a slab of cement. Not one to cry, she cried anyway. Memories started to inch their way into her consciousness. There was a car accident. Dez sobbed. “My car. What happened to her, my poor Old Faithful. I don’t even remember getting here.”

Her hospital room overlooked a small park. Emelina was glad that her sister would have a such a lovely view. She had been in the room just after they settled Dez. After she fell asleep, Emelina walked down to the little park. Returning, she edged in the door of Room 245. “Dez? Are you awake?” Unbeknownst to the sisters, Digby had called Elizabeth and Giles. Elizabeth didn’t miss a beat - “I’ll get right over to the manor kitchen and make sure she gets a good hot meal. And you James, have you and Martha eaten? You come in too. …..Don’t argue, James. I’ll feed you tonight and you can worry about tomorrow when tomorrow gets here.” When Elizabeth spoke to him like he was a school boy he knew any discussion was over. Giles was much easier. “I’ll keep my pager on, James. On second thought, I’ll be out to the manor right away. Miss Em can’t be driving herself back and forth until Miss Dez is out of the woods. She is going to be ok isn’t she?”

“Yes, Giles. She will be just fine. Both her legs were broken so she’ll be in hospital, but then I don’t know about her convalescence.” James breathed much easier knowing that his mistress would be taken care of. She depended on her sister much more than she seemed to know. He had seen them together, Miss Em always asking her sister for advice. She had tried to get Miss Dez to live out at the estate. She gave her the responsibility and run of the apple orchard. When Dr. Jeremy had to go to work, she stayed in the city with her sister. No, this would be hard on Miss Em. She was still just over a year away from being totally dependent on them all. She had made remarkable progress, but it would be too easy for her to slip back. Samuel. He’d get Miss Em home. Martha could go with her into the manor while he talked with Samuel.

~~~~~

“Em, was anyone else hurt in the accident? I don’t remember much. Just the crunching of my old girl. I do sort of remember someone talking to me.” Dez was pale, both legs throbbing. “Can you call the nurse for me? I can’t concentrate, Em. I’m uncomfortable, too much pain………and I think I need a bedpan.” She grinned sheepishly. Pain was one thing, but a bedpan? She felt so helpless! Emelina felt just as helpless. She wasn’t used to seeing her sister so….so…. vulnerable. She pushed the call bell once, then twice and was about to get up and go find a nurse when the door opened. “Good afternoon, Miss Eliot. My name is Cheryl and I’m your nurse for the rest of the evening.” As she smoothed the covers and adjusted the intravenous she continued “What can I get for you?” Dez winced and tried to smile. “Pain. Bedpan and another pillow.” Cheryl laughed. “You want more pain? I’ll tell the doctor to stop your morphine.” Seeing the look of anguish and both women’s faces, she smiled and pushed a button on the Intravenous machine. “There. Is that better? I was making a poor attempt at some humour, I’m sorry. You can give yourself a dose every four hours. Just push that same button. The doctor has ordered the correct dose and will decrease it slowly over a couple of days as you tolerate it. You also needed a bedpan?”

“Yes….Please. I don’t know if I’ve ever sat on a bedpan. I’ve heard they’re cold.” Dez turned to her sister. “Em, would you mind stepping out while I have this…this… new experience?” 

Her sister stood, gathered her purse and jacket. “Of course Dez, I need to call Jeremy and let James and Martha go home.”

~~~~~

Dez didn’t know which was worse. The pain in her legs or trying to get positioned on the slippery cold bedpan. Cheryl, her nurse couldn’t find a plastic bedpan, so stainless steel was the only option. Once she was up and balanced she couldn’t do what she had to until the nurse turned the tap on in the sink. Then she just felt wet. “Come on, Miss Eliot. You’ll be all right. I’ll get you all dry and comfortable. Then your sister can come back in. Your supper will be in here shortly. Do you remember how to give yourself more painkiller?”

“Yes. I use this button on the Intravenous line. It’s set for only every four hours and if the four hours aren’t up, it won’t give me anything.” She held up the IV line to show Cheryl that she’d been paying attention. “Perfect, Miss Eliot! I’ll be checking in on you, but if you’re in too much pain before the four hours are up, call me and I’ll call the doctor.” Cheryl stopped at the door “I’ll send your sister back in.”

~~~~~

Emelina met Martha and James in the cafeteria sharing a muffin. “Oh my, I just don’t care for any other muffins! Elizabeth has me spoiled, James.”

“And me as well, Martha……..There you are Miss Em. Come sit down and tell us how your sister is.” James stood and pulled out a chair for her.  She sat down and looked at her two friends “I just want to tell you both how grateful I am that you brought me into town. I really don’t think I would have been safe on the roads.” She held both their hands. “Thank you. Now, go home and get some rest. I’ll wait for Jeremy. We’ll stay at his apartment and I’ll come to the hospital in the morning.” Martha and James pulled their hands back and looked up. Emelina turned to see what had unsettled them. “No, my Em. You’ll go back to the manor tonight. James, Martha and I have talked it over.” Emelina was still smitten. Jeremy looked so very tall and so very handsome, his hair a mess, his scrubs rumpled. “You talked it over?! Behind my back?” Jeremy smiled. “Yes. Cook’s got your dinner cooking. I also heard that Giles may be out there. Something about talking to you about what time you want to come to the hospital tomorrow.” His pager buzzed. “Have to go.” He leaned into kiss his wife. Before he left he turned to James and Martha “Thanks to the both of you for taking care of her.” 

Emelina blew him a kiss. “Well, I guess that settles that!” She turned to the Digby’s. “Come up with me to say good night to Dez.”

“One of the most important things you can do on this 

earth is to let people know they are not alone.”

~ Shannon L. Alder

 

Convenient Certainty

It was a watery world at 7:30 a.m.Puddles of water from under the dishwasher drained toward the basement stairs (Should have listened to my intuition last night: - do not turn the dishwasher on and go to bed!)

 

Mop, bucket, towels, cup to scoop out 

standing water - maintenance request put in and responded to. By afternoon everything was dry, clean with clear pipe. Order returned to my kitchen.

Lesson? (besides the first one)

Don’t take for granted the hidden pipes of 

plumbing that takes water throughout 

my home ~ something that not everyone has 

access to.

“When the well is dry, we’ll know the worth of water.”

~ Benjamin Franklin

On an Afternoon Walk ~ Stroll, Look and Listen

With a friend

I strolled in the late summer sun

along a winding path, 

wind tousling our hair.

We leaned against the  railings watching 

mallard ducks and common loons lining the shore; listened to geese squabbling

on this election day.

As I walk, I wonder: Do those geese have their own political agendas or do they just squabble, flap their wings, waggle their long necks and peck at each other ~

they miss out on the colours 

that change and shimmer

in the winds of autumn as they

ready to take wing and fly.

“Look deep into nature and you will understand everything better. ”

~ Albert Einstein

A Cat Tale

She has finally understood.

She calls it 'yoga’

I call it normal.

So I watch as

she does this ‘yoga’

resigned, yet patient.

I just stretch and yawn

whenever I choose

while she walks about

feeding me

cleaning up after me

making my bed comfortable.

“Cats tell me without effort all that there is to know.”

~ Charles Bukowski, On Cats