Table Talk - A Story

Table Talk

Hints about belief were passed carefully around the table that evening at supper. So many people had challenged Stan about his beliefs about hope. Called him a Polly Anna. A bleeding heart liberal. And a few other choice names that hurt him to the core. Stan was the not really black sheep of the family and was home for a brief visit.

Discussions about politics could become very animated and often heated. Discussions about money were the same. Discussions about belief were different. Belief about religion, about how life should be lived ~ about deep personal daily living practices created a hush in the room. Only the clinking of cutlery against china cut the silence. Everyone slipped back to days before they all were grown up and out from under ledge of adolescence.

‘So, Stanley. Where are you going to work next? Will it be in the city or are you off again to some Third World country where you are in danger?’ Stan’s mother’s charity work had been limited to her church and the surrounding community. That wasn’t even fair. That kind of charity work was incredibly necessary for the life blood of any community.

‘Well mom, I won’t be leaving the country but will be working with some communities in the north…..’

‘Let’s just change the subject. You know that we don’t need to talk about all your crazy helping situations. Mother, why did you even ask about what he’s up to while we’re having a pleasant dinner.’  Stan’s father’s booming voice cut his explanation off. Any hope of sharing his excitement about the new initiative working with Chiefs and northern Bands was cut off.

Stanley believed in his work with communities that were restoring their own beliefs. To aid in restoring communities to health in his own country was an honour for Stanley. No matter political differences, Stanley had great hope for individuals of each community. He believed, along with most of his colleagues, that it was the health of the communities that supported the country's health. However, that was not to be discussed at this dinner table. Stanley looked forward to discussions around kitchen and board room tables in the north.

In the living room, after the table was cleared and the dishes done, the evening ended with an animated game of rummy.

“Discussion is impossible with someone who claims 

not to seek the truth, but already to possess it.”

~ Romain Rolland, Above the Battle

HOPE: My Definition ~ HOPE ~ Theme for December 2016

In the last month, both in Canada and in the United States there have been political changes that have unbalanced the worlds of many people. The details are political, environmental, cultural and ultimately about territory and the almighty dollar. Personally, my nursing career, spanning  several decades, is in nursing individuals through substance withdrawal. Many of them have burned most of their personal bridges, homes, employment and thus the money to pay their bills. Many have severe medical effects of alcohol and other substances. And yet whether activist on a grand scale or taking care of one person at a time, we each still have hope that there will be a brighter day. Hope that just by taking one more step, one more time, we will be able to facilitate change in life circumstances. It would have been too easy for me to choose Christmas for this December theme when I see hope all around me. Stubborn hope, persistant hope, in the face of barriers that seem insurmountable. So here is my definition of HOPE.

Hints about belief
Open to new directions
Perfectly willing
Enthusiastic about each moment

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

~ Leonard Cohen, (Selected Poems, 1956-1968)

The Artist

Yellow draws me into summer sunshine with sketches of sunflowers, yellow birds and daffodils sliding down hillsides

Yellow paints vast fields of flowering canola, domed by cloudless blue sky, calls birds, bees and butterflies to dine

Yellow sculpts deep shadows shapes of trees, bridges and sky scrapers texturing landscape of prairies or mountains

Yellow throws bright splashes
through windows with the swing of the sun
brushing aside curtains and shades

Yellow draws, for my heart and soul
a picture of joy and hope ~
a brilliant idea that makes me happy.

“In the world of safe hues, like black, red and white, 

yellow shouts:‘Look at me. I’m happy!’”

~ from Joy of Sewing, Chron,January 20, 2016

Apathetic or Not

I was going to write some little piece of poetry tonight. However after listening to CBC this afternoon and again this evening, I decided some opinion would suit. I am not of a political bent, but am interested in the political discussions that I hear on the media, on social network and of course in coffee shops. Mr. Trudeau, our Prime Minister, made announcements today that have rattled many, many groups and have pleased others. I listened to his presentation approving the Kinder Morgan Trans Mountain Pipeline, Line 3 pipeline and rejecting Northern Gateway pipelines. I read and heard some of the responses later. I heard rage, anger and immense disappointment on one side and careful optimism on the other side. My side? Confusion.

Not so much confusion that my day was upset and I hid in my bed. But enough so that I was troubled that I have taken no side, have no belief in which action of our government was right or wrong. I am confident, however, that the government made the most financially beneficial decision based on short term gain. 

I am not an activist and often feel guilty that I just can’t be that person. I really don’t want to be in the middle of all the noise and angst. Does that make me the person that sits back on the sidelines while others get their hands dirty? Am I the person that does not get angry or passionate about the big environmental issues that our country faces? And yet I don’t feel that I am apathetic either. I care about how things are done to save this planet. In my home, I take care of the little environmental issues in the amount of water I use, reducing use of disposables and many small things that we are all encouraged to do. What do each of us do that are not the 'real' activists?

My ideas and my chosen actions are relatively small in the grand scheme of things. However my belief in the greatness and value of the environment are the basis for these actions.

“This world is not here for you; you are here for it.”

~ Shannon L. Alder

Author's note: Edited February 01, 2024

My Mother's Perfume

Fragrant and aromatic
Filling the house with the comfort of home baked bread, 

spicy temptation of apple pie,
roast chicken from the oven,
freshness of clean sheets 
hung on a clothes line 

winter or summer

No name brand
No fancy crystal vial
Just fragrant and aromatic memories
Creating ideas for to-day’s home.

“A woman’s perfume tells more about her than her handwriting.”

~ Christian Dior

The Next Step ~ 1

What is life's next step?
Next steps
Planning them
According to whom

A baby learning to walk
Just puts one foot forward
Sometimes watching the floor
Curious - learning new movement and strengths

We grow up
We learn strategies
Follow directons
Establish goals with a fixed set of steps.

In our own lives
Outside of careers, how-to books and schedules
There are no strategies, directions or approved goals.
We just put one foot forward

The next step
May lead to unexpected changes
New challenges from new-old ideas
Waking up curiousity and opening to a new world.

“With cautious feet, we move forward. 

Today is the first step of our new lives.”

~ Inio Asano, Solanin

Opening Drawers

I don’t shut my dresser drawers; clothing old and new barely visible makes a neat room a bit messy

Memory is like that ~ drawers storing our pasts with ideas, beliefs, and lives tumbled out to be shuffled and sorted.

Birthdays open one more drawer
with connections made on that special day ~
Memories, barely visible, tumble out of the drawers

with phone calls, best wishes and shared experience.

“A happy birthday is measured not in the amount of gifts one gets, 

but in the amount of love one receives.”

~ Todd Stocker