Extraordinary.
Forests stand and fall
breathing with life ~
tiniest of microbes,
deer and their fawns shelter,
furry creatures scurry about,
chirping blackbirds, twittering juncos and grand eagles fly in from the blue to build nests and aeries high in the trees
Forests destroyed? ~ extraordinary.
“Forests should not be walked on,
they should be walked under and through.”
~ Courtney M. Privett, Mayfly Requiem
Grand schemes filled
with hopes and dreams
Crashing
Burning
Leave behind only
smoke and ashes
Unless
Courage
Picks through ash and embers
For charred scraps left behind
Glowing!
Alive!
Ideas arise through acrid smoke
Anger is softened and tears are left behind!
“For the human soul is virtually indestructible, and its ability
to rise from the ashes remains as long as the body draws breath.”
Author: Alice Miller
*quote taken from quotestats.com
Toddler Troubles
Never, never, never, never!!!!!!! She stamped her little feet and then plopped down on the cold wet tiles of the patio. Her mother had called her to come in to put away toys she left strewn all over the living room. Stella did not want to come in the house. It was summer! She had her brand new bathing suit on. It was her favourite colour. Turquoise with a beautiful white unicorn rearing up to the sky. If she went in, her mother would make her take it off! She’d been playing, happy as the little birds on the fence, in the squishy pink and purple wading pool in their postage stamp back yard.
If she could have formed a coherent thought at the time, she would have said quite calmly that she was not done playing outside yet. She would be in shortly. Her toys were very patient, unlike her mothers quite irrational demands. They did not want to be shut up in the toy box.
But Stella was only four and only had the insight of a four year old. And a very limited vocabulary.
“You can learn many things from children. How much
patience you have,
for instance.
~ Franklin P. Adams
Bonded
Across time and miles the Digby brothers had become as estranged as Miss Emelina and Miss Dez had been. The only difference was that they hadn’t separated on bad terms. James smiled. He remembered the day that he and Dad had seen Thomas off on his ‘grand adventure’, an adventure still forty years on, he guessed. It was rather drizzly day, they had just celebrated Thomas’s going away at lunch in a local restaurant in Hartley. While their father was paying the bill, the two brothers had a short opportunity to talk. We never did talk about when we would see each other again. It was too hard.
“James, who are you talking about? An old girlfriend?” Martha had come to collect her husband. He took his coat from her. “Time for supper, is it dear? No, I’ve never had a girlfriend before. You know that. Not an old one, just this young one that brought me my coat.” Martha smiled and kissed him. “You really are quite charming, James.” Wanting to know more, Martha knew when it was time not to pry. James would tell her when he was ready.
Their walk home under their big umbrella was quiet. A cool evening, there was enough mist in the air to open it wide. “Martha, did you ever meet my brother Thomas?”
“No, I’ve only heard you talk about him. I think he was already gone by the time I came to the Estate. You really haven’t mentioned him in years. Didn’t you two keep in touch by mail early on. When did that stop?” James stopped walking. “Martha, I never thought of those old letters! I still have all of them. Do you suppose……….no. Let’s just keep on and get home for supper. I’ll worry about those letters later.”
~~~~~
Snow was falling in the mountains. Thomas looked out the front windows and sighed. “Just finished shovelling that walk this afternoon and by morning it will be full again.” Closing the curtains, he turned his back on tomorrow’s work. “Sonja, have you ever been off the mainland?”
“Just a minute, Thom. I’m just finishing up this email and I may have some information for you.” Silence. Only the click of her polished nails on the keyboard. Thom was always fascinated that she could type so quickly with those long nails. “There. Done. Now what did you ask me?”
“Have you ever been off of the mainland? You know, to Vancouver Island.”
Sonja laughed “The only islands I’ve ever been to are the Caribbean Islands long before I met you. When I was considerably younger and not incredibility smart. Why? Do you want coffee, I’m making some.”
He cocked his head, smiled a big smile and held her to him. “The Caribbean Islands? You’ve never shared that with me. I think you might need to tell me all about it.”
“Not tonight, Thom. I need to tell you what I’ve found on the internet. When you told me that you were raised on an Estate and on Vancouver Island, I did a Google search. It’s a very big Island and there are many Estates all up and down the island. Do you remember the name of the Estate?” She backed away from him and turned her computer toward him. “Yes, it’s been a long time but it was……, it was……….” He rubbed his forehead as if that would open his memory “…… It started with a B..Beau…That's it - the Beaufort Estate. I get so angry when I can’t remember things that I’ve always known.” He shook his head in frustration,
Sonja sat down, swung the computer back in place and tapped out Beaufort Estate. In an instant, a link to The Beaufort Estate came up. She clicked on it and there it was. His home. Thom pulled a chair up beside her and stared at the green expanse of lawn. “I wonder who the gardener is now, and who the cook is. Is James still there?” He sighed and touched the screen. “Why don’t we find out?” She went to the legend at the top of the website and opened About the Estate. “It says it’s owned by a Mrs. Crawford. I don’t know that name at all. Open that one.” He pointed to Residents and Staff. He didn’t know the first thing about computers and really had never had much use for them. The newspaper he had worked for did get computers in, but he never did get along with them. He let Sonja do all the computering and was glad for it tonight. There was his home! But was anyone left that he knew. “How do we see………..oh, my goodness, Sonja, it’s dad….but it can’t be.” Thomas hung his head
Sonja turned to him and putting both hands on his cheeks she said with a laugh, “Of course it isn’t your father. You told me yourself he passed away years ago. Look at the name under the picture. She lifted his face and turned him toward to the screen. He took her wrists and pulled them away from his face. “James? It can’t be! He looks so old.” Sonja was really laughing now. “So do you, Thomas! And you told me you’re the younger brother.”
He pulled her into a great hug, partly because he was so grateful to her but partly to hide his tears from her. But they weren’t about to stop, so he just sat straight and wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. “This is just crazy. Crying over looking at his ugly mug. And he does look just like father. Would you come with me to visit him?”
“We’d better contact him first and make sure that he’s really still there. Sometimes these websites aren’t updated properly, so it could be old information. Just calm down, Thomas. There. See. There’s his email address at the end of his bio. It’s late, but if we sent him an email tonight he’ll see it in the morning. That’s if he’s into his office tomorrow, and we don’t know how often he checks his email.”
~~~~~
Neither Thomas nor James slept that night.
Thom had scrolled through the other people on the Staff and Residents section. He didn’t recognize any but one other person. There was a Samuel Forrester that looked very familiar to him. Could that be Sam? The one they played with as boys. His dad had been the gardener. Sam always had to leave their games to help him. The Mrs. Emelina Crawford who owned the place he didn’t know at all. Then there was Dez Eliot. Another very unfamiliar face. He rubbed his eyes, got up for a glass of water and went to their bedroom. Looking down at Sonja, he smiled and silently said ‘Thank you’.
James and Martha ate their supper, talking over their day. While she was cleaning up the kitchen afterward, she told him “James, go look in your desk for those letters.You won’t be right until you know if they’re here or back in your office. I’m going to read awhile, then go on to bed. Make sure you lock up and turn the lights off before you come to bed.” Silence was her only answer. Then she heard desk drawers and the file drawer being pulled out. In a file under Family Correspondence he found them. Thom’s old letters. He had brought them to the cottage rather than leaving them in his office. “I found them Martha!” Then there was just the creak of his office chair as he settled in to read. “I hope he dated all these and I hope I can read his writing!” James face wrinkled in a smile. “He never could spell either.” Much later, James closed his office door and went to bed. He thought he heard his laptop ping as he turned his bed lamp out.
“Once a brother, always a brother, no matter the distance,
no matter the difference and no matter the issue.”
~ Byron Pulsifer
Anger seems a strange theme to choose for this month. After all, locally, nationally and, in fact worldwide, we have seen anger raging daily for the last two years and is still ongoing. It has moved from pandemic fatigue to war in Europe. Many, if not most, have had valid reasons to be angry. Not all reasons have been very socially acceptable or agreeable. I really do dislike being angry so have become more concerned with the value of anger.
Across time….
Never, never……
Grand schemes……
Extraordinary……..
Reckless and ………
“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host.
But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”
~ Maya Angelou
I hoped
my finger tips, like sponges,
would draw
words from my mind.
“For someone who loved words as much as I did,
it was amazing how often they failed me.”
~ M.L.Rio, If We Were Villains
There is a place living
inside each of us
without borders or street signs
only recognized by feelings
of possibility and home
There is a place living
inside each of us
without lines or rules
only recognized by feelings
of openness and slow walking
There is a place living
inside each us
to be embraced as
a place of belonging ~
the place where we choose to become.
“I believe home is where the heart can be open and loving
with a sense of security. It must not be a place of fear.”
~ Author: Marilyn Barnicke Bellegeem,
*Inspired by the CBC Tapestry episode: Can you belong to a place you’ve never been before?
Interview with Pamela Petro by Mary Hynes
Episode aired February 25, 2022
