An Uncertain Morning
“Good morning, Miss Emelina! You’re down early today.” Cook was surprised. Her employer was sitting at the long table with a file in open front of her, a piece of half eaten toast and a cup of coffee. Cook had just arrived at work thinking about the soup she was planning on making, having tea with Martha, cleaning out the pantry, getting some frozen meals over to Samuel……her mind always busy laying out the day ahead of her. Miss Emelina’s calm presence had stopped her thoughts as little else had for a long time.
“Oh, Cook! Good morning! I hope you don’t mind that I invaded your kitchen.” Everyone called it 'Cook’s kitchen' and didn’t touch anything without asking. Cook’s unsmiling face suggested that the unspoken rule had been broken. But Miss Em was her employer, so Cook was just quiet. After a tense pause, Cook’s face relaxed “Of course I don’t mind, Miss Em. I was just surprised to see you here. I had smelled the coffee when I came in, but thought maybe Martha was already here.”
“Cook, sit down.” Hesitating, Cook turned away to get her apron, unsure of what was happening. “ Oh, you probably want to get some tea first. I boiled the kettle earlier, so it shouldn’t take long to get it up to the boil again.” Emelina felt awkward. She had never been this uneasy around Cook. Maybe it was because of her own lack of certainty about what she wanted to do. She had hoped to talk with Cook while the kitchen was still quiet.
~~~~~
Cook made a good strong pot of tea. While the kettle boiled she readied bread for toast. When the whistle sounded, she poured the boiling water in the tea pot and added two teabags. Always Orange Pekoe. Martha liked Earl Grey. “I’m sorry, Miss Em. I was just surprised. The only person that sets up the coffee is Mr. Digby or Martha if they come in before me.” Her tea ready, toast buttered, she came to the table. Stiffly she said “Here I am. Did you want to talk with me about something?”
“Oh, Cook. Please, relax. It’s nothing much. I just want to talk to you ~ and to everyone else ~ about what other goals you might have. I’ve pored over records, and reports but I just can’t find what any of you want. I can’t believe that just working here is enough for any of you.”
“Is that all, Miss Em? You’ve been so busy looking at all those files you’re talking about, looking all serious, going off to appointments. Some of us have been getting uncomfortable. Fearing for our jobs.” Cook looked down into her tea for what she didn’t know. “Cook, I had no idea people felt uncomfortable! I’ve gone about studying and carrying my files in and out without a thought to what I might be stirring up.” She got up and refilled her coffee. Her back to Cook, she hung her head. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her coffee and turned back to Cook. “What worries have I stirred up, Cook? Just your worries. You don’t need to tell me about anyone else. I’ll be talking with everyone anyway.”
“Well,” Cook hesitated, sat up straight, held her tea mug just a little tighter “Are we - I mean - are you firing me?” She felt like the breath had been pushed out of her.
Emelina almost started to laugh, but caught herself when she saw the fear on the good woman’s face. “No, Cook! I’m not going to fire you. Why on earth would I do that? Oh, my goodness….is that what people think?” She felt a rock in the pit of her stomach. Why hadn’t she thought about what others thought? She had been so secure in her own image for so long ~ the right hair, the right clothes, the right way to speak ~ but all for the people that she thought she had to impress. Society people, hospital boards. She had failed to think of the very people that made her life possible.
“I’m afraid so, Miss Em. The only one not worried is Samuel. Do you know what he said….he said 'I shouldn’t have to go anywhere. Least not as long as Miss Em holds title to this land. May not be growing as many vegetables, unless the townsfolk want them. I think I own my shack. Have to find the papers that prove it.' ”
Emelina smiled and shook her head slowly. “Samuel. We don’t see much of him, but we do get to enjoy the fruits and vegetables of all his hard work. Tell him I’ll be out to talk with him next week. And you, Cook. Your job is safe.” She rested her hand on Cook's arm. “I only want to know if there is anything more that you want out of life. This last couple of years has been strange for all of us. No parties to cook for, no surprise guests keeping you from getting home on time. Yet, somehow you’ve kept this kitchen humming.”
Cook was the one smiling now, relaxing her grip on her mug. “That is quite a relief. I had no idea what I would do! Jobs still are not easy to come by. I’m not as young as I used to be. A lot of kids and young folks out there would get them first. As far as keeping this kitchen going, I had quite a job getting things in order after you and Miss Dez at the beginning of this pandemic. The pantry was empty, the freezer was almost empty and the refrigerator.….well, that’s another story altogether.”
The two women were laughing at the memory when Martha and James came in. “My goodness, you two are having quite a party. Would James and I be invited or should we just turn around and go home?”
Almost in unison, Cook and her boss said “Of course you’re invited.” Cook continued. “We’ve been having a great time talking about the days when we all came back from our isolation. Remember those bits of green tape we kept finding?” Even James was laughing. “My office had been turned into your bedroom, Miss Em. Getting it all rearranged was a chore.” His face got serious. “We did get through it, didn't we? Working together like we always have. The room fell silent.
~~~~~
“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent,
intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.”
~ Ursula K. Leguin
