Courage - Farther down the Narrow Path

To continue from last evening

and to move forward out of the mess that I left you in.....

Courage - Farther down the Narrow Path

With a fresher face and steady voice, she said urgently ‘I’m still feeling quite sick this morning but would you tell me 

when breakfast is, please? I’m going to try to eat a bit - not too much though.

And I would like to see a social worker today, I have some follow up plans that my counselor has recommended. I can’t do this anymore, I miss all of my family - did I show you the pictures of my grandchildren? - I took that first drink again! But now I have grandchildren that I want to get to know - and I want them to know me. I want them to remember me healthy and happy, not a sad, maudlin and vicious drunk."

Her seasoned voice caught in her throat but she continued 

"I know you’ve heard all this before from me ~ except for the grandchildren ~ but I have concrete plans this time and my intention is to follow through with all of the plans."

Who was this person?

Certainly not the jittery, angry person that

I left only sixteen hours before?

There were still pale, dark circles under her eyes, 

under a tired looking and anxiously wrinkled forehead.

The hospital identification band on her wrist said that it was her...

brown hair clean and pulled back into a fresh and tightly woven braid, short curls fluffed at her temples

blue eyes clear, but still tired, were the same eyes that darted about the interview room yesterday, unable and unwilling to meet my eyes.

The general pallor of her skin was showing a bit of pink health.

What else was different?

Her posture tall, straight and almost confident?

Clean, smelling of shampoo and soap?

Shaky belief that she could try one more time?

Oh, it wasn’t the first and we never knew 

if it would be the last time that she, or anyone else, tried 

breaking the vicious cycle of active addiction

leaving behind people and friends known for years

learning to build new and healthy friendships

rebuilding frayed and damaged family relationships

finding finances for

a roof over her family's head, 

food on the table for her children and now grandchildren.

We were all only grateful that she had lived to try again,

and that she had made the call on her own.

I reminded her about the benefits of

eating small frequent amounts and maintaining lots of fluids

regular exercise with slow walks or light cycling

resting during the day to conserve this new buildup of energy

moving slowly as her mind raced into the world ahead of her....

“When you fall you can stay down and feel bad for yourself

or you can get back up and try to better yourself.”

~ Sonya Parker