Parenting is Tough

Parenting is Tough 

Needs and wants. There is such a fine line between those two. Growing up in the 1950’s it was between whether I needed books for each school year or whether I wanted brand new books for each school year. I was tired of getting the hand-me-down text books from a brother, a sister, a cousin or just someone across town. What I wanted was brand new books with beautiful shiny hard covers. Pristine pages with the black print so fresh it fairly jumped off the page into my absorbent young mind. But no! I got the hand-me-downs. Pages with corners turned over, scribbles on the margins, sometimes doodles curlicuing all around the margins and all in great abundance. Every kid that took ownership added their own personality in the margins. And then I grew up, got married and had to buy my children books - with our own money. All of a sudden hand me down books became valuable to me. I didn’t even mind the ‘additions’. Especially the doodles - shooting stars and stick men. I wondered why a certain line or paragraph were underlined or highlighted, but found that I would have highlighted almost exactly the same phrases. Now to get my children to understand.

“Really girls. The older books are better books!”

“But Da-ad. We want new books! The Johnson kids get new books every year. Why can’t we have new books!”

The twins were jumping up and down, faces scrunched up, hair flipping with each bounce.

“Girls. You are only in grade two! Not this year.”

Their excited faces froze in mid jump. Tears flooded their faces. I caved. I know. I know. I’m a bad parent. But their faces! Now what am I going to tell their mother. She made me promise - she made me pinky swear. But honestly? I’m more worried about how my girls see their dad.

“Perhaps it takes courage to raise children..”

~ John Steinbeck, East of Eden