Group Dynamics I

They say (whoever ‘they’ are) that the success of most things is all about timing. The timing of baking a loaf of bread. The timing from here to there. The timing of…….well most things I guess. The timing of establishing new relationships is of concern to me this morning. In this case it involves group dynamics. When someone new - let’s call him Willie for now - enters an already established relationship there are two possible outcomes. An immediate and polite welcoming or an extreme not so welcome. 

My challenge has been to facilitate the former. This ‘established group’ and the newcomer need space. The only space they have to share, at least this morning, is the kitchen/dining room/living room. So everyone has to hold still and pay attention to whether teeny tiny hisses or equally teeny tiny licks are in the offing. Right now, it is more often the hisses - rather like air leaking from a small tire - when one of the big dogs approaches too quickly, too closely or even thinks about it. As the de facto ‘pack leader’, it is my job to maintain control of the pack, along with a good dose of calm. The ‘stare downs’ are the most interesting and sometimes downright funny. Who backs down first? Who turns away first? It does vary but this tiny kitten with an uncertain name as yet, does tend to get bored with this silly game and back up, turn around and go find something more interesting to play with like a scratching post, or a curtain to climb (NO!!) or a pillow to snooze on. The occasional gentle but very firm reminder to my grand dogs to stay down asserts my 'pack leader' status.

All is calm and quiet. But…. What if I take a nap? What happens when I go to bed tonight? Or even if my back is turned while I load the dishwasher and remove the kitten before closing the door? My ‘eyes in the back of my head’ mom feature, I was sure, was a bit rusty. In the past, that alert has always been well timed. So I listen for the tinkle of collar tags, click of nails on the floor, and a tiny hiss to set my alert system to active. Even if a wee bit rusty, the eyes in the back of my head are open and work pretty darn good for these curious canine and feline grand-kids of mine.

“If the timing’s right and the gods are with you, something special happens.”

~ Rick Springfield