Precarious, unsteady ground should be obvious. You know, rocks, broken sidewalks, muddy marshy land. Ground we would obviously avoid. Find a way around, or just change directions. In March, 2020 globally we were all thrown onto very precarious and unsteady ground. For some the bottom of life dropped out completely. Tragically, lives were lost, businesses closed, health care was, and still is, severely compromised. And politics spun completely out of control - but that’s another story.
Where is the permission in all of that? None that I can think of, except that Covid 19 happened. For me, it felt like a gigantic rug of security and certainty in life had been jerked right out from under me. For my family, so very many things were thrown up in the air. Living and being aware of one second at a time was a big deal! Not an airy fairy idea posited by some self help guru.
We could not avoid what was right in front of our lives. Certainly, many have been avoiding the reality of the situation since them. But, there has been no way around the presence of this viral enemy. Only vaccinations have decreased the potential for life-threatening illness. Yes, we’ve been encouraged, sometimes pushed, to get vaccinated. Ultimately, we have given our own permission to go forward. But there has been one more thing in this whirling mess that could be done, and in some cases, had to be done: change directions. In my case, it was a major life move. What I will always remember, is how frightened and panicked I felt before I made a scary, but momentous decision. Trapped by my own circumstance, and after many hours of worry and panic, I gave myself permission to jump ship and move to my home province of Saskatchewan. It took a lot of work, different sorts of worry and packing up seventeen years of living.
Standing still slowly was my mantra once more. I picked my way through the precarious unsteady ground that had become the norm. Cautiously moving forward, life is not as unsteady, or precarious today. I have learned so much! I have met myself on my own terms in this new/old land of Regina. I’m not a bad sort! Finding a new path has been challenging and exciting. Giving myself permission to feel all the unpleasant and pleasant feelings of this new life is a real blessing.
“Give yourself permission to shoot for something that seems totally
beyond your grasp. You may be surprised at your capabilities.”
~ Danica Patrick
1 comment:
So very brave Susan ! Taking those quantum leaps of faith are harder as we grow older . I admire you very much. May Life reward your courage. With Love Jenny
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