Talking the Talk
Dez wondered if the leaves in the apple trees could tell her anything. They trembled in the breeze, hung heavy with fruit for the kitchen and apple pies. She and Matt still had not set a date. Matt was usually at his orchard and she at hers. Spring then summer. Apples were ripening. There was no time away for either of them. They tried to help one another out, but had never talked about making any kind of plan. Some days everything worked out, they left for Matt’s farm early, took care of his sprinklers and made sure there had been no branches down if there had been a wind storm. Matt often grumbled about not being home enough to keep an eye on things. He always apologized to Dez. Then it was forgotten a moment later. But today, Dez felt a tug on her heart. He was unhappy with their arrangement and so was she. He was taking on, for her, the management of her orchard when she only wanted to learn from him.
Before that magic night when he proposed to her, they talked over things. Farming things, family, what a life together would look like. When the real work started and continued as spring rolled into summer, their talks were no longer dreams. It had become hard reality. A cool morning, Dez breathed deeply of the fresh apple aroma and smiled. “Yes, this is what I want and I want Matt beside me. How am I……how are we going to make us happen? We can’t just uproot a whole orchard and put them side by side.” Her shoulders felt heavy. Trying to shrug off the weight, she looked up. The clouds had pushed their way down the island, thicker and deep slate grey tinged with orange from the forest fires on the mainland. She felt tiny spits of rain on her face and pulled the hood of her rain slicker up.
“Penny for your thoughts!” Matt’s voice, cool as the rain, startled her. She spun around, her hood falling off. “Matt! What are you doing here!?” He grinned and stepped back. “I suppose I could leave, but it’s about to rain so I thought I’d come find you.” Dez reached for him, pulling him towards her. “Don’t you dare. I was just thinking about you, about us. I even asked the trees if they knew anything.” He wrapped his arms around her as the rain started to fall. “Did they tell you anything?” Breathless, Dez couldn’t answer him. In that moment of no work, they kissed as though they had been far away from each other for weeks. Dez finally leaned her head back. “You know we’re getting wet, don’t you?” Matt just nuzzled her neck and whispered. “I hadn’t really noticed it, but if you think we should dry off, we could go to the house. Dez turned inside his arms and started walking home. Hand in hand they went in out of the rain.
~~~~~
“You know we have to work something out.” Wearing one of Matt’s plaid shirts, Dez was up making coffee and getting them something to eat. “We don’t have much in the fridge, should we order pizza?” Matt called from the bathroom. “What did you say? I can’t hear you with this shower running.” Dez was already on the phone ordering pizza and extras.” Matt came out of the bathroom wearing a towel and running a comb through his hair. “Shower’s all yours, honey. Like the shirt!” Dez blushed. “It’s not quite my style but all I could find in a hurry. I’ve ordered the pizza, money’s on the table and the coffee’s just about ready.” Giving him a quick kiss, she disappeared into the bathroom. Matt hurried back to the bedroom to pull his jeans and a T-shirt on. Muttering to himself, he said “Delivery shouldn’t be here that quick but you never know.”
~~~~~
“You said we needed to talk about something. What is it, Dez? You still want to get married?” A tremble in Matt’s voice gave his feelings away. “Oh, Matt! Of course I do. It’s not about that, but that is something else we need to talk about soon.” This talking was rocky territory for her. Previous relationships had always crumbled after the talking got too serious. “It’s about the orchards, and the apiaries Matt. We are seldom together because we each have work in separate places. When we are together we could work well together.” She hesitated, didn’t know how to tell him how she felt. “So, we could work well together. I thought we did. Tell me what you mean. We’ve both had our share of dung-heaps in our lives and survived, so let’s have it.” Dez got up for a glass of water. “Ok. I feel like you don’t trust me to do the same work you do. I just want to know what to do, not have you do it for me.” Matt hung his head. Relieved he had been sure she was going to call it off. Just stay in half of a relationship. “I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong. I guess I’ve just been an orchardist most of my life and it’s all reflex to me.” Dez started to explain herself, but stopped. “Haven’t you had anyone working with you?”
Now it was Matt’s turn to blush. “Of course I have but they were trained or learned quickly.” Dez interrupted. “Any of them women?” They both grinned, smiled and then laughed until they couldn’t speak. Gasping Matt said, “Are you calling me a miso..misogen…..that word?” Dez dried her face on her sleeve. “Not really, but if the shoe fits, Matt!”
The rest of the evening dissolved into deep discussions of how they could change things. “It will take so much longer, Dez. Going through everything with you.” Pacing the kitchen, Dez finger combed her hair in frustration, “But Matt, you did that workshop a couple of years ago and you’re a good teacher.You just have to let me do it without killing the trees.” Matt cleared up the table and washed out the coffee pot. “Seriously? You can’t kill the trees; you might not have as many apples the next year, but the trees get over our mistakes.”
The rain had continued through the evening into the night. The couple were still talking about their differences when they went to bed. “Let’s just go to sleep and talk again in the morning. I love you Matt.” Dez turned out the light. Only a night bird sang as the last drops of rain fell. Matt had the last word “I love you Dez.”
“It’s important to make sure that we’re talking with each other
in a way that heals, not in a way that wounds.”
~ Barack Obama
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