There were stairs to climb.....

Water colour by Jason Ward

Nursing school  
Marriage

Motherhood

Epilepsy

This is the order they arrived in, all crammed in the span of four years.

But... no pressure! Just deal with it.

Diagnosis made.

Prescriptions: two medications.

No time in this life for the seizures that would follow 

unexpected

unannounced.

From infancy onward, my children witnessed my violent seizures.

My very young son brought me my medications.

My husband worried.

My whole family worried.

Close friends were pulled into the fray.

Stubbornly, I shouted to those that cared for me ~ "I'm NOT going to have a seizure!"

Fear of the seizures is not in my memory,

Only embarrassment when waking up 

on the floor,

or on the couch 

with family or friends over me

asking if I was all right

Epilepsy in the form that I have ~ tonic/clonic seizures (what used to be called grand mal) are terrifying because they involve 

unconsciousness

violent convulsing tremors, and 

loud stertorous breathing, 

skin colour dark and dusky as powerful neck muscles cut my airway off.

“It was during the night when she had a seizure 

facedown on the pillow,....she passed on that way. 

That’s a very, very small percentage. It’s more important

 to let people know that epilepsy is not fatal.” 

~ John O’Hurley