Into the Depths

It was a party. Haven’t had one quite like it for a very long time! No one was invited so it was only me standing alone in my living room looking out at the dark. My mood was as dark as the night sky. The only lights - and there were a lot of them - were street lights, a curving moon, car lights swishing back and forth, and the warm glow of living room lights in apartments across the street. 

Now you may think I shouldn’t be talking about these dark moods, but I think that it’s important that dark moods be given a hearing now and then. Have you ever tried to keep a smile on your face continuously for even an hour? How about keeping that smile in your heart when your head is running non-stop with every conceivable negative thing past, present and definitely future? I can usually get my black belt anti-gremlin stance on and just knock all the mud balls up, down and sideways. But when I have a cold (which I do), or when I’m over tired (because a cold makes me overtired) those gremlins get the upper hand. I tried to ignore the little darlings and, with a good box of tissues, reminded them that this Pity Party is my Pity Party and they had not been invited. Those silly gremlins kept scritch-scratching at my minds door. I kept trying to ignore them while I wallowed around in the warm mud of Poor Me Lake. It sometimes does take going down into the very depths of Poor Me Lake, bruising myself on the rocks at the bottom and pushing myself back to the top where I can breathe. 

Once all that whining and caterwauling was over I went back to bed, had a sound sleep and when I awoke, the fears and awfulizing of the previous night seemed but a nasty nightmare. There were some real concerns, but valid issues, not wisps of panic.

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, 

but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

~ Johnny Depp