Hanging On

Nerves of steel shining and rigid are only 

waiting to snap. I suppose it’s just a 

metaphor and I’m being too picky. 

Too literal. A description of bravery in the 

face of a challenge or danger when in 

fact a person’s insides feel frozen stiff 

or have turned to jelly. When the challenge 

has passed, or the danger has been neutralized, 

those nerves of steel disappear behind a closed 

door where no one can see the puddle of jelly 

on the floor or the tears thawing all over a pillow. Perhaps those nerves could be 

succumbing to the back and forth of a rocking chair 

until sleep softens the nerves of steel

until they are needed again.

“When you’re scared, when you’re hanging on, when life is 

hurting you, then you’re going to see what you’re really made of.”

~ Sylvestor Stallone

Secret Thngs

Emotional waves are secret things noticed if laughter or sobbing is too loud or raucous to ignore. Then it’s ‘don’t be so silly’ or ‘there, there, it’ll be all right’. 

But silent waves may not be noticed but for an expression that rumples a 

carefully made up face. Inside waves challenge stiff smiles secured to face the public.

“A secret’s worth depends on the people from who it must be kept.”

~ Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

Nesting

Tensions that fly into the back of my brain wing their way down to my heart and my belly 

where the small brown birds have built their nests. Nests built from the scattered debris of a 

day, or maybe a week or even longer. Removing the little flock of birds seems cruel when 

they’ve become so comfortable. 

But they are messy ~ dropping their feathers and never 

cleaning out their nests. I'm sorry to see 

them go because they are good company, 

even if they can't sing. So with each breath, 

one of them flies away till I am left empty. 

Then I'll open the space to robins and canaries 

and interview them for their songs.

“I feel empty, not because of sadness, but because 

of relief, all the tension flowing out of me.”

~ Veronica Roth, novelist