Journal March 2008 - “I gathered my confidence around me like a ragged coat…..”
There are times when I read some of the many words I have penned and wonder: Who wrote that? Nope - that’s my journal and my handwriting. Do I remember the specific day or time even though it is dated and timed? Seldom. I have been tempted to just dump all my journals. In the past, I have been sorry for such a rash act. Of course, throwing something out that hasn’t been used or looked at, or in the case of clothes, worn for years should be easy. As long as it’s not looked at again. When it comes to my journals and the writing practice I’ve struggled to develop, it becomes a different issue. But I digress.
Yesterday, my confidence in the value of my life and the way I live it was challenged when I realized that yes….I am no longer employed as a nurse or anything else. I’m no longer even interested in returning to a nursing career. What I do have is an unflagging interest in the puzzle of word crafting. Creative expression of a moment, a story, or personal experience. In my case, creative expression of my nursing experience. Retirement, only three months old, is still in its infancy. I can accept a long gentle learning curve or rush headlong into it risking my self-confidence in this new phase. So once more I gather what confidence I do have around me like a ragged, and very much repaired and mended, coat. Get out pen and paper ~ or this lap top ~ and review and reshape my dreams of so long ago. Recreate my writing life from my experiences, my strengths and my hopes.
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust, First Part
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