Personal growth does not seem to have an end point. This weekend was filled with two days of learning about the emotional traps of vulnerability and of shame. When the potentials of both of these traps are addressed on a personal level, stepping out of certain ineffective and possibly damaging behaviours is possible. This workshop, developed by Brené Brown, LLC and facilitated by Bryn Meadows, Certified Daring Way Facilitator, was illuminating and challenging. Brené Brown’s research into vulnerability expanded after she read the quote ‘it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and blood...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high acheivement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. - Theodore Roosevelt”
As small group, we were able to discuss and disclose in a safe and well run environment. I appreciated and am grateful to all the attendees and especially to Bryn for this very worthwhile weekend of growth. The vitality in the room waxed and waned with emotions supported and softened by caring and laughter.
For more information access the websites posted:
brenébrown.com
brynmeadows@me.com
thedaringway.com
I am attaching a re-post from my blog post from June of this year:
Remembering Shame
This inspiration came from a garbage bag and a toothpick.
An innocent looking, but used, toothpick lay on my kitchen counter.
Not especially dirty, but used and needing disposal.
The garbage bag?
Innocent white plastic - a clean liner to my kitchen garbage container.
vivid shaming memories of
everything done wrong,
been told I’ve done wrong
even been suspected of wrong doing.
Throwing it in the freshly lined kitchen garbage pail, my hope was that it wouldn’t make a hole in bottom so nasty stuff wouldn’t leak out. As I put my fruit and vegetable peels in a separate container, I quickly dismissed that as an unlikely possibility.
vivid shaming memories of
who do you think you are
you can’t do that
don’t bother trying
you shouldn’t have done that
Memories, shaped like toothpicks, do not grow as we grow.
Forgotten parts of the memory are
youth of the child or teen or young parent............
exciting inspiration like fragile balloons
life experience behind the voice of that memory.
(and that voice may have been my own! using those same words on another!)
vivid self doubt
planted deep and nurtured carefully
fed and watered with shame and tears
roots clinging to the soil around spirit
choking out healthy growth.
Once self doubt is planted
and if memory is to be believed 100%
can there be any turning back?
Or like the weeds in the garden,
four foot tall thistles with vicious barbs,
or the undergrowth of an untamed field
are we willing to find tools to tackle this long planted self doubt?
“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”
~ Brené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me:
Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame
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