At the forefront of my mind has been an upcoming anniversary day. Anyone who knows me, probably is aware of my penchant for marking birthdays and anniversaries. This upcoming anniversary date, for me, is February 16th. One year since I worked my last nursing shift. I really didn’t know what to expect for that day. How would I respond when I admitted patients or discharged patients? Some I had cared for several times over the years were especially poignant. Learning the person buried behind the addiction really does make a difference. I do hope my sadness, as I silently said good-bye to my patients, was not visible. My many colleagues throughout have added such texture to my career and professional life. Most recently, those who were my companions and co-workers while working at VIHA have their own special place in my heart. I think of all of these people, places and things off and on as I go about my days in retirement.
The before picture of retirement was one of an alien, vast, and very dark, landscape. I have watched others slip into this phase easily. For others it was not so easy or comfortable when illness or misfortune shattered plans for these so-called ‘golden years’. I am grateful for activities established over previous years. A walking group, book group and of course my writing practice at home became trusty flashlights, helping me crack open this new book. Even so, empty spaces on my calendar, like vast tracts of space, greeted me each day. Every so often, a ‘work dream’ in my early morning hours remind me of this past that I held so tightly.
The after picture of retirement has been much like a dawning spring, gradually opening my heart. Each day different, but slowly filled with the familiar, with new life, and only a bit of turmoil. Cheers to my colleagues who saw me off with such love and respect. Cheers to my families, far and near, who have welcomed me home and into their homes. Cheers to my circles of friends, also far and near, who have patiently listened to my retirement journey. This ‘land’ I thought that would be so dark, has been filled with frivolous fun, gentle guidance and steady light from everyone.
“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.”
~ Robert Frost
No comments:
Post a Comment