A wandering way
to far away lands
leaves me breathless
watching myself
walking roads and trails.
In my imaginings,
they are full of
story and history,
friends and neighbours,
the ghosts of ancestors
to accompany this traveler
until my eyes are opened
to the comforts of home.
“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as
the dreams that dance in your imagination.”
~ Roman Payne, novelist and poet
its sheeted arms and ghoulish face to find a treat
~ or maybe a trick!
 |
Meeting the Staff and Sarah
James Digby straightened his tie, and tugged at his collar. “My goodness, James. He’s only a boy ~ well a young man. Why on earth am I so nervous?” Martha called to him. “James, it’s time to go. Phillip will be at your office before you are. You look fine, James.” She brushed invisible lint from his jacket. “Now be off with you and tell Elizabeth I’ll be in shortly. I have one or two things to take care of here” Wrinkles creased his forehead. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there on time to meet Phillip. You need to visit with him first. Go. Go….” James kissed her on the forehead, picked up his briefcase and walked out the door. Once on the path between the cottage and the Estate his pace picked up to his usual stride. Taking a deep breath of the morning air, he relaxed. “That’s better. More than just another day at the office. I am looking forward to it all.” At the back of his mind, he was still troubled. How would he explain Sarah to Phillip? What if she takes too much of a shine to him? But he had pushed all that down. Walking into the kitchen, he greeted Elizabeth. “You have our breakfast table all ready for us, Elizabeth. Thank you…..and Martha will be in shortly. She had loose ends to tie up.”
“Phillip called to say he is on his way. Sounds a nice young man. Just hope he and Sarah get along, James.” James hung his head. “How did you know I’d be worried about her?”
“Because I’ve known you a long time, James Digby. You always hated when she interfered with your dinners. Since it’s been quiet around here, she’s changed a bit.”
“How do you know that, Elizabeth? You’ve never talked about her before.” He looked out the back window for Phillip’s car. “Oh, she comes down here when I’m baking. Can’t eat any of the cookies but she says she like to feel them cooking. She says it’s the only time she feels warm. She’s really a sweet little ghost.”
~~~~~
James and Phillip were sitting in his office getting to know one another. Before he wanted to take him upstairs, he wanted to get the measure of this young man. He was pleased. Despite what Elizabeth had said about Sarah, he was nervous. “Phillip there is one other thing I want to discuss with you before we continue. I hope it doesn’t change your mind about learning from me.” Phillip was curious. He couldn’t imagine what there would be to change his mind. Being a butler seemed quite straightforward. “No problem, Mr. Digby. Just tell me whatever it is.”
Without hesitation, James asked “How do you feel about ghosts?” In his mind he chastised himself ‘I should have broached that more carefully.’ Phillip learned back in his chair. “Wow! Ghosts? Here?”
“I won’t be offended if you leave right away, Phillip. I apologize for not telling you sooner. It seemed such a little detail until today.” Phillip put up his hand. “I definitely won’t leave. Ghosts fascinate me. I’ve done a little study on the paranormal.” James smiled. “Sarah has never been a frightening ghost. More annoying than anything.” He glanced up and around the ceiling. “ If she’s here now, she won’t be happy to hear that. She and I have not always been friends.”
Phillip had been interested in this new venture. Now he was excited. “Do you think she might come out while I’m here today. What does she like? Is there anything I shouldn’t do? I’m sorry, too many questions.” James had relaxed when he saw the young man’s eyes light up. “Just be yourself. She may materialize if she feels safe around you. Quite young when she passed, about twelve years old, her family came to the Island at the turn of the last century. The story passed down was that she died of influenza. No records to prove that as far as I know. This was her home and she’s never left. There are times when some of us feel like intruders in her home.”
~~~~~
Sarah didn’t materialize that day. She did hover apart from the men to keep an eye on them. Digby had a new man with him. He seemed to be acceptable but over the centuries she had learned to be careful. Some people didn’t believe she was a real presence, others were frightened and some just wanted her to go away. She wanted her home to be a good home. Like it was before she became a ghost. The new man was respectful when he said to the air “Hello Sarah. My name is Phillip. I’d like to meet you someday when you’re ready.” But she stayed hidden. If he came back another time, she might materialize. Cook would tell her next time if he was ok. Cook had never seen Sarah, only felt her presence and was calm. She talked to Sarah on those days and told her what was going on.
James and Phillip toured the house, met with Cook and with Martha for discussions about their role in the Manor house. Discussion with Cook was short and to the point; Martha on the other hand was her chatty self going over details more than once. Both were welcoming. Both confirmed James’ description of Sarah. Cook seemed especially fond of the girl. Suddenly it was five o’clock. A knock on the back door, and a gruff ‘Hello in there’ followed by “You ready to go Elizabeth?”
“Time for all of us to go.” James reached out to Phillip, pumping his hand. “It’s been a pleasure having you here today. There is so much more I want to tell you. I barely got into what we have planned.” He was interrupted by another arrival. “Miss Emelina! Miss Dez! Good evening.”
“We’re just on our way upstairs. Thought we’d stop and see if you made anything delicious today, Cook.” Dez was already sniffing the air and looking in the refrigerator. “You’re looking in the wrong place. There’s a pot of stew in the oven warming for the both of you, scones in the bread box to go with.”
James interrupted “We were all about to leave for the day. Now that you’re here, I’d like you to meet Phillip Smith. He’s the young man I’ve been telling you about. We’ve had a good look around the place, lots of discussion and I’ve told him about Sarah. He’s quite interested her.”
“So good to meet you, Mrs. Crawford and this is your sister, Miss Eliot? Also pleased to meet you.”
“It’s so good to meet you, Phillip. I don’t know if James mentioned it, but I prefer to be called Miss Emelina or Miss Em.” Dez spoke up. “I’m just plain Dez, even though these folks call me Miss Dez. You just follow James’ example and you’ll not go wrong.”
~~~~~~
Samuel finally got Elizabeth away for their surprise evening out, Martha and James went to their cottage for a quiet evening, Dez and Em had their supper and then watched a movie. Phillip drove away humming a tune, more interested than ever in this new endeavour. Sarah was just a happy little ghost girl.
“It occurred to me that if I were a ghost, this ambience was
what I’d miss most: the ordinary, day-to-day bustle of the living.
Ghosts long, I’m sure, for the stupidest, most unremarkable things.”
~ Banana Yoshimoto, The Lake
Sure enough!
I don’t know what to write.
it happens.
out of the blue.
like ghosts into the mist ~
letters dance all around me,
refuse to line up,
no matter my focus…………..
“The wonderful thing about writing is
that there is always a blank page waiting.
The terrifying thing about writing is
that there is always a blank page waiting.
~ J.K.Rowling
Snow Magic
Saying goodnight to Samuel and Elizabeth was like letting out a last breath of air. The silence that fell had a hint of loneliness to it. The sisters went back into the kitchen, looked at the destruction they had wrought to Cook’s kitchen and sighed in unison. “That’s only the half of it, Em. We’ve got all the dishes in the dumbwaiter from upstairs.” Dez paused, ran her fingers through her hair and said. “Weren’t we going to clean up as we went so we wouldn’t have all this to do?” Em put the kettle for tea. “That was the plan, Dez. We got a start by loading the dishwasher before supper, but we were having too much fun upstairs. Who did win that game of Monopoly? It sounded pretty rowdy!” With a clean dishcloth, Em was washing the stove top and cupboards. She stopped, leaned on the counter and looked around at her sister. “Where are Jeremy and Matt? It’s awfully quiet up there.” As if they had heard her calling their names, the two men burst in the back door, stomping their feet and laughing. “Girls! Come quick! It’s snowing!” Snow on Vancouver Island wasn’t all that unusual in December. It never lasted long and so was treated as the most exciting event of the year. Dez and Em stopped what they were doing, looked at each other. The dishcloths they were using were wrung out and hung on the sink. “We can do this later.” Coats, boots and mitts on, cleaning the kitchen forgotten, they joined the men. “Hurry. It’s coming down pretty steady. Forecast today warned that we’d get a lot of snow but I didn’t believe it. Looks like they were right.”
By the time the four of them got outside, snow had covered the still green lawn, weighed down branches of even the tallest tree and softened sharp edges of fences, rocks and roof. While Em was standing stock still transfixed by the beauty of it all, Dez was patting handfuls of snow, eyeing Matt who was doing the same. Jeremy didn’t know what to do ~ stay with his love, or get in on the snowball fight. His mind made up, he called softly to her. “Em.” No answer. A little louder and more insistent. “Em!” Over her shoulder she said “What is it, Jeremy?” Turning she said “Isn’t it beauti………” Splat. Right in the middle of her forehead. “Jeremy Crawford! Don’t you think you can get away with that.” Scooping up a handful of snow, giving it enough pats to hold the snow together, she fired the snow ball at her husband. He ducked and it caught Matt in the back of the head just as he had lobbed one at Dez.” These so called adults played until exhausted, but didn’t want to go in. Having too much fun, they hadn’t noticed that the snow was coming down heavier and the temperature was dipping. Dez had slipped and fallen into the ever deepening white blanket. Instead of getting up, she looked up, opened her mouth and caught snowflakes on her tongue. “Make a snow angel, Dez! You remember. We used to do that whenever we had snow like this. Here let me make one beside you.” Em lay down beside her sister and they shushed their arms and legs through the snow. “Let’s look.” She pulled her sister to her feet. “It’s not easy getting up without wrecking them, but we did pretty good. Brrrr. I’m getting cold!” Dez, brushing the snow from her coat, shivered and was heading back to the house. She heard Matt call her. “Hey, Dez, look what Jeremy and I have done!” She was ready to ignore him and get into the warmth, but she turned back and saw the two men looking as proud as two peacocks. “Great snowman! But where’s his hat and pipe and……” Matt cut her off. “I know, I know, Here I’ll give him my toque. The snow has covered up any twigs, do you think Cook would get mad if we pulled some bristles from her broom for arms?” Em had already been in the house. She came out with a carrot for his nose. “I dug through Martha’s sewing things and found these two big buttons for eyes. Here’s an old scarf of mine, but I don’t know about the arms.” Jeremy had gone onto the porch, where there was a stack of brush waiting to be dried and burned in the fireplace. “Here’s his arms, Matt. A bit skinny but I’m sure he’ll be ok with them. He hasn’t been much for words. Maybe he’ll come to life after we’ve all gone in.”
~~~~~
The change from children to adults was miraculous. The men rolled up their sleeves and unloaded the dumbwaiter without being asked. The women finished polishing up Cook’s kitchen. Instead of tea, they had hot chocolate covered in marshmallows with just a nip of brandy added. This time the quiet of the kitchen wasn’t tinged with loneliness, but with the togetherness of coming in from the cold, working to restore order and warming with hot chocolate.
No one saw Sarah float out of the upstairs window wearing a shadowy coat and carrying her father’s pipe. As soon as she put it where the Snowman’s mouth should have been, he winked one of his buttoned eyes at her and said ‘Thanks’. Her swing hung cold and lonely on the biggest tree in the yard, the seat puffed with snow. Sarah's ghostly weight barely disturbed the snow flakes. In whispers like the wind brushing the snow around, the two new friends chatted through the night.
“I love snow for the same reason I love Christmas.
It brings people together while time stands still.”
~ Rachel Cohen
“When we grow old and have gray hair like grandma, will Sarah still be like a little girl?” Abby and Emelina had met Sarah. It took some coaxing to get her to materialize out from between the books on the top shelf of the bookshelf. She drifted around watching Abby. Faded into a wall and then appeared in the dining room. A chair moved out from the table and she was sitting with hands folded and feet barely reaching the floor. “Hi….My name’s Abby. I’ve never met a ghost before. You look scared. I won’t hurt you. I just wanted to say hi.” Emelina gently touched her arm. “Abby. Let’s just be quiet and let Sarah see who you are.” Sarah looked up at her. “But I told her who I am. Should I tell her who my grandma is?” Emelina just shook her head and put her finger to her lips.
“Of course I know who your grandma is?” Sarah, pale and translucent as a cloud, finally spoke, her voice only a raspy whisper. “Why are you here?”
Abby looked at Emelina nervously and whispered “Should I tell her?” Emelina smiled gently. “It’s ok, Abby. You can tell her.” Abby turned to Sarah, took a deep breath and said. “I - I just want to look like you ~ like dress up ~ for Hallowe'en…..if that’s ok.”
For the next hour, Sarah and Abby talked about what Abby should wear, Emelina completely forgotten. “I wish I could come with you when you go out with your friends. Will you come back and tell me all about it?”
~~~~~
“You know about Sarah don’t you, Jeremy?” They were having an early breakfast at the Estate. They had come down to the kitchen in pyjamas and housecoats. Unusual, as it had long been established that the kitchen was no place for pyjamas and housecoats in staff work space. Cook was on a day off; Martha and Digby were on a day trip to Salt Spring Island. It was Sunday and very early in the morning. Em decided ~ after Jeremy pushed her ~ that their more than casual dress would be ok. “I’ve heard the rumours. Mike told me about her when we were a lot younger, but I never did see her. I think he almost had a crush on her when we were eleven. Have you seen her?”
“He didn’t tell me about that! Yes I have seen her. I’ve always wondered why she looked at me so strangely after Mike and I were married. I sometimes thought she appeared just to frighten me.” Emelina laughed. Clearing away their breakfast dishes, she paused. “She’s not very scary now after all these years have passed. I actually think we like each other. She wouldn’t have appeared for Abby ~ you know, Martha’s granddaughter ~ if she didn’t. At least I don’t think so.”
Jeremy wiped down their breakfast table. “Now. Are we going to talk about ghosts and your first husband ~ my best friend by the way ~ or are we going to get packed and ready for our trip to the mainland?” He spun his wife around, dancing her to the stairs. Sarah watched from above.
“It’s not what we have, but who we have.”
~ A.A.Milne, Winnie the Pooh
Chill and rainy
Stay inside!
Restless and cranky
Oh well ~ get outside.
A sidewalk wander
Hallowe’en props out today
past this yard and that yard
no kids out to play but
goblins, pumpkins, monsters
in a spooky, ghostly zoo!
Now rested and calm
I can only say Boo!!
“It’s Halloween, everyone’s entitled to one good scare.”
~ Sheriff Leigh Brackett, Halloween
“Grandma. Who is Sarah?” Abby, seven years old, was in the Estate kitchen after school. Cook had fresh chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate for Martha’s grandchildren. Ben, almost 12 years old (he reminded everyone if they forgot) had gone out to see Samuel. “I’ll do my homework later Gran. I need to talk business with Mr. Forrester.” He was gone with the slam of the back door before his grandmother could even get a word out.
“He’ll be just fine, Martha. Samuel will talk with him some. When he finds out the homework’s waiting, Ben will be back here at work.” Cook smiled and set tea down for the both of them.
“Now how do you know that, Elizabeth?” Martha really wasn’t surprised. Samuel loved the children. Wouldn’t let them get away with much. “Now, Abby. You wanted to know about Sarah. I don’t know that much, except she is known as our resident ghost. And then there was the young man - what was his name, Elizabeth - Tucker something……. Remember? He got so frustrated with her he threatened to quit. What do you know about her?”
“Not that much, Martha. Just feels like she’s watching over my shoulder, especially when I’m alone and baking something. Miss Emelina will be here soon. You need to ask her, Abby. I think she’s had some dealing with her.”
“Abby, honey, you’ve known about our ghost before. Why…” Martha hesitated, sitting back in her chair with a big smile on her face. “I think I know.”
Her granddaughter looked up at her grandma, her blue eyes sparkling. “I want to dress up as a ghost for Hallowe'en.” She sat up straight and took another cookie and a sip of her hot chocolate. “But not just any ghost……Our ghost.”
~~~~~
It wasn’t long before Emelina joined them. She was about to go on upstairs and put away her purchases. She didn’t notice Martha whispering to her granddaughter. Saying her hello’s, she was about to walk away when she heard a nervous little voice. “Miss Emelina. Can I ask you about Sarah?……..I mean, if you have time. It’s just that I need to know what she looks like………” Abby words trailed away. Emelina stifled a smile. “I guess I could take a few minutes and visit with you Abby. As long as it’s ok with your grandmother.”
Martha stood and picked up her tea. “I’ll just leave the two of you to talk. Cook and I have some things to go over in the pantry. You just write down what Miss Emelina tells you. You know, what you’ll need for your costume. I’ll make sure you are as pretty and as ghostly as Sarah.”
~~~~~
“Now, let me think. Sarah hasn’t visited me for quite a while but she is almost as pretty as you.”
“Really!’ Abby’s eyes shone. Emelina was just nervous at the prospect of being interviewed by a young girl. “Is she a mean ghost? What’s her dress like?” Regaining her confidence, questions spilled out of her. She had already told her best friend what her costume might be. She didn’t know she’d be talking to her grandma’s boss.
Emelina touched Abby’s long blond hair. “Just the right colour. Do you think your mom or your grandma could put your hair in ringlets?” Abby went still at her touch. “I think so. I don’t really know what ringlets are but I’m sure they know. What else?”
“Well you’ll need a pale yellow dress. Stand up for me. You’re quite tall, aren’t you? It needs to be long.” She indicated half way between the young girl's slender knee and ankle. And what else?” Emelina took a sip of her tea. “Oh, yes. A lace collar. And there was something in her hair……. A blue ribbon ~ dark blue I think.”
They paused to take another cookie. In the silence, there were footsteps from upstairs. “Shh….I think I hear her. No one should be up there.” Abby leaned forward and whispered. “Do you think I could meet her?”
“Well, she might fade away into the walls unless we go very carefully. We’ll whisper to her as we go up the stairs so we don’t scare her. Did you know she’s about 12 years old? A little older than you. If she’s hiding, I’ll tell her you want to talk with her. Then, we’ll wait. Then, you ask her if you can talk to her.”
Martha and Cook were watching from the pantry door. Finished their review of the pantry contents, they watched the pair deep in their discussion. “They’re getting along just fine, Elizabeth. They both were quite nervous, weren’t they?” Elizabeth nodded. “Didn’t last long though, did it?” The two women had also heard the footsteps upstairs. Watching them creep up the stairs, whispering to each other, they were certain the two new friends were going to meet Sarah.
“Why do they say ghosts are cold? Mine are warm, a breath
dampening your cheek, a voice when you thought you were alone.”
~ Julie Buntin, Marlena
Home, a feeling surrounded by photographs and recipes…….
Open air, whether in deep forest, widening prairies, or bottomless ocean……..
Moving from house to house….
Exploring, in baby steps, I welcome the ghosts…………
“Home is where one starts from.”
~ T.S.Eliot
