Without Definition

Trust is without definition. 

It is the colour of water 

   in its vastness, 

iron grey ~

  troubled by rain clouds or 

clear blue ~ reflecting 

   sun and moving cloud, 

shades of green ~

   at the shoreline where trees 

  bend to caress the water,

~ or capped by lacy froth 

       on a windy day.

Our only definition grows 

  from the details of our lives

lessons from those we grew up with until 

  our own definition blossoms 

a definition that is confident and sure.

But trust remains without definition and 

  yet with a form we feel in our gut.

“To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. 

When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, 

because if you do you will sink and drown. 

Instead you relax, and float.”

~ Alan Wilson Watts, British philosopher

(1915 - 1973)

Never Square One

We are never back to square one. It may feel that way:

 ~ frustration, 

      anger

        annoyance!

years of life and learning 

gives opportunities 

to shape new circumstances 

with well used lessons.

“In the oddity or maybe the miracle of life, the roots of something 

new frequently lie in the decaying husks of something old.”

~ Craig D. Lounsbrough, writer

Hard Knocks

When age comes upon us 

as more than a number, 

when our youth has passed, 

our adulting years, 

when we come to the years 

when we were supposed to

become wise we find that 

wisdom is nothing more than 

lessons from 

the School of Hard Knocks

through the years that have 

slipped by and through us. 

“If you can learn from hard knocks, you can also learn from soft touches.”

~ Carolyn Kenmore, from Daily Peace, 

National Geographic Society, 2015

Learn

Owing good fortune not a dollar nor a penny 

but only my thanks for the life I have to live. 

Good fortune does not come with perfection, 

but with sudden twists and long held misfortunes.

Those last come with lessons ~ not of paper and pen ~ 

but a strength of soul that 

truly makes them good.

Good fortune’s lessons 

can be a bigger challenge,

mere whispers that beg 

the listener to attend and be grateful.

“It takes more strength of character 

to withstand good fortune than bad,”

~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld, author

(1613 - 1680)

New Growth

There are tree experts that 

could tell me what these 

crusty brown growths are. 

I suspect they are buds 

~ for new leaves? 

Rather like all of us 

as we grow. We get 

crusty with new knowledge 

mixed with old lessons.

As leaves and blossoms 

emerge the crusts fall to the 

ground, the protection for 

new growth no longer needed.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud 

was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

~ Anaïs Nin, author

Playing by Ear

It was an invitation to a birthday party one summer many years ago. 

The prairie sky was deep blue with not a cloud in sight. 

Mrs. Thompson ~ 

I think that was her name ~ lived on a farm between city and town. One year when I 

was about 13, she gave me 

piano lessons in her home. 

I loved playing piano, 

but not practicing. My teacher, 

80 years young, greeted me with sparkling eyes, 

a beautiful smile and a warm handshake. 

‘I never knew if you practiced!’ 

Her eyes twinkled a bit brighter 

‘You played so well by ear!’

“To play a wrong note is insignificant; 

to play without passion is inexcusable.”

~ Ludwig van Beethoven

Resurrection: Cooking Lessons

Fancy footwork has been needed this last ten days. Christmas preparations, dinners, New Years festivities, but that’s not the only thing that has consumed my life. For years I have talked about wanting to take a Cooking course, but have never pursued it. I actually love being home, and I need to eat. Well, I like to eat. After years of watching cooking shows and gathering cookbooks, I am moving forward with at home, self taught lessons. That would satisfy all three: being at home, cooking lessons, and eating. The danger? I’ll need to buy a new wardrobe. In the last week or so, I have cooked something different each day. Some from google, the rest from my cookbooks, including handwritten recipes I have been given or are from google. One goal is to use my books as much as possible, but online is important to answer many questions - and to get a recipe in a hurry! As life slows down, I’ll get better at using my cook books.

Today: Home made chilli from my freezer - (a google recipe from two years ago)

New Years Day: Norwegian Silver Dollar Pancakes (Scandinavian Gatherings - a Christmas gift.

New Years Eve: Pan boiled potatoes (Jacque Pépin - Facebook) - a happy accident as I was scrolling.

Before that:

Potato Scones: from Cooking with Potatoes by Jenny Stacy

Bread pudding from Better Homes and Gardens new Cookbook, from the late 1960’s

Muffins: (google)

Christmas Coleslaw - another google recipe in a hurry

Devilled Eggs - another google recipe in a hurry

My very loose schedule: 

Writing projects in the morning

Cooking ‘lesson’ in the afternoon/evening

Writing in the evening

The fancy footwork?

Family, friends, living and reading in-between - ‘cause I’m not giving any of those up!!

“No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, 

a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations 

of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, 

the wisdom of cookbook writers.”

~ Laurie Colwin

Chapter Two, Episode 132 - Sorting Things Out - Situationally Theirs

Sorting Things Out

Ben’s mother, Joanie Richardson, was with her mother and Cook in the Estate kitchen when Ben and Miss Emelina arrived. “Oh, thank heavens you’re all right, Ben!” His mother wrapped him in a big hug. Bigger than usual. He could hardly breathe. “I’m all right mom. Sorry I got mad and yelled at you and then just took off.” She released her son and held his face in both hands. “I’m sorry too, Ben. I’ve been spending all my time worrying about Abby and didn’t even know you felt ignored.” She looked up at Emelina and smiled. “Thank you so much for finding him and bringing him to me.”

“You are so welcome, Joanie. I was just glad I found him so easily.” She was uneasy about having offered Michael’s guitar to Ben before talking with his mother. The words had just slipped out of her. “I have something upstairs I need to take care of. Ben, you take care and try not to run off like that again.” She decided to let Ben bring up the issue of the guitar if he was really interested. As she walked away, she heard them talking. Trying not to eavesdrop, she hurried up the stairs to her living room.

~~~~~

“Mom, I don’t know what you’ll think of this.” He hesitated, not sure what he wanted to say. “I’ve been mad at Abby because she’s so interested in her science stuff. And I’ve been mad at me because I’m not interested in anything but riding my bike with Jimmy.” After another long pause he said. “At least nothing that I thought was important like science.” Cook and Martha had been sitting with their tea, quiet and just watching the little reunion play out. Out of the blue, Ben looked over at them. “Can I get a glass of water?” He always asked Cook before touching anything in her kitchen. “Of course, Ben. Go ahead.” She nodded to Martha stay seated. “He knows where everything is.” Turning back to Ben, she said “If you’d rather have a glass of milk, there’s fresh milk in the refrigerator.” 

Cook always said the right thing. Ben wanted to ask his mother about guitar lessons, but he got so nervous, he was suddenly thirsty. He was sure he would be told that they were too expensive and that he couldn’t have the guitar but he was going to ask anyway. At least he’d try. He already had visions of riding his bike up to the hill with his guitar on his back. Sitting on the rock and playing to the birds and squirrels. Sleeping with his guitar beside him. Saying good bye to it before going to school. He thought he might even get famous. Pouring a glass of milk, he just about spilled it he was so distracted. Standing up straighter, shoulders back, he decided he would stop being such a baby and just ask. If she said ‘no’, then he’d just have to find a way to pay for lessons by himself. And the guitar could stay here until he could buy it, but he’d ask if he could come and practice lessons on it here. In a much stronger voice he said “Mom, I want to take guitar lessons. Abby has her dreams and I finally have mine….I think.” Taking a big drink of milk, wiping his face with his sleeve, he sat down and waited to see what his mother would say. 

She was quiet for a long time, watching her son growing up in front of her eyes. Just a few hours before he had seemed so young. Seeing him square his shoulders and say what he wanted, made her heart swell. Maybe it was what he needed. Joanie had no idea what guitar lessons would cost or where they’d get a guitar, but she was willing to help him with it. “Okay, Ben……….” before she could continue, he blurted out. “I really want this, mom, please…what did you say? Okay?”  Joanie’s face broke into a smile. “Yes, Ben. Okay. I don’t know how we’ll do it but we’ll do it. Now that I think about it, there’s a music program at the school.” Ben looked surprised. “Wow! I never thought of that. I watch them play, but never thought I could learn music. I always feel good when I’ve listened to them.” Martha chimed in. “Is that Mr. Reynolds still there? He teaches guitar doesn’t he? He might know where you could get a guitar.” Her daughter was nodding her head. “Yes, he comes in twice a week. I’ll talk with him tomorrow when he comes in.” Joanie stood and put on her sweater. “Ben, we’d better get home. Abby will be waiting for us.” She looked at her watch. “I let her go with Miss Dez to the orchard while we waited for you.” Ben drained his glass of milk and took the glass to the kitchen sink. He rinsed it out and put it on the draining board. “Thanks Ben, I’ll put that in here with the rest.” Cook had gathered their tea things to put them in the dishwasher.

Martha followed her daughter and grandson to the door. “I’ll walk with you part way, then home to get supper on the table for James and me. I’m glad you’re home and safe, Ben and everything's sorted.” Everything wasn’t really sorted. Ben hadn’t mentioned that Miss Emelina had offered him a guitar. He’d wait until he met Mr. Reynolds at school. 

“We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, 

even it if is only picking grapes or sorting the laundry.”

~ E.B.White

Counting, Bubbles and Lessons

 While new baby sister slept there were lessons big sister had to teach great-grandma about fun:

1. If you throw cards ‘up to the sky’ - it’s fun to watch them fly all around even if you’re in the house.
2. If your hands get dirty outside - use the bubble water to wash your hands ~ and the slide.
3. Always pop the bubbles even if they are on great grandma’s hair.
4. Always be scared of earthworms - they might be snails.
5. When counting sidewalk stones, make sure great-grandma follows you and counts too.
6. When you get tired of counting the sidewalk stones - ‘let’s count the grass’ in really big steps.
7. Always smell the bubble water - it’s yukky - but maybe it tastes better. (It was yukky too and great grandma told me NO!)

I’m pretty sure I missed something, but I had to go home. I really needed a break!

“Childhood’s work is learning, and it is 

in his play…that the child works at his job.”

~ Caroline Pratt, I Learn from Children

Convenient Certainty

It was a watery world at 7:30 a.m.Puddles of water from under the dishwasher drained toward the basement stairs (Should have listened to my intuition last night: - do not turn the dishwasher on and go to bed!)

 

Mop, bucket, towels, cup to scoop out 

standing water - maintenance request put in and responded to. By afternoon everything was dry, clean with clear pipe. Order returned to my kitchen.

Lesson? (besides the first one)

Don’t take for granted the hidden pipes of 

plumbing that takes water throughout 

my home ~ something that not everyone has 

access to.

“When the well is dry, we’ll know the worth of water.”

~ Benjamin Franklin

To Remember

Yoda says:‘You must unlearn what you have learned’.

But how to sift through years of learning,

finding lessons that no longer serve?

When swathed in a cherished memory

the goodness of the lesson will always be close

But those painted with a tarnished memory ~ chained to your soul ~ no longer serve.

To remember an event does not tell of the lesson ~

When your head bows down in the face of kind words,

When you want to turn away from even the easiest challenge

Such lessons do not allow satisfaction in life,

prevent boldness in walking through storms and 

Yoda says: ‘You must unlearn what you have learned’.

“Your path you must decide.”

~ Yoda