Old Habits Die Hard ~ 2

Ease of old habits nudge 

me from my memories. 

But there is little ease in 

old habits. For one thing, 

when I stand up it can be

a major production. There 

is no jumping out of a chair 

or running up a flight of stairs. 

It’s best to keep everything 

at a strolling pace ~ 

I’ve decided new habits are in order

~ with a varying amount of ease.

“Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so.”

~ Émile Coué, psychologist

(1857 ~ 1926)

Renewal - REJUVENATE - Theme for June 2025

Running on empty……

E is for effort….

Jousting with words……

Uncle Reginald…….

Vitality in the past…..

Ease of old habits

Need for something…..

Absolute belief in…..

Tasting only….

Earthly beings……

“The world is full of magic things 

waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”

~ W.B. Yeats

Habitual Verbosity

Keeping it short ~ ‘it’ being this muse ~

is not an easy habit to change for someone

who is in love with

~ words

   ~ sentences

       ~ paragraphs

         ~ stories

   ~ descriptions

             ~ explanations.........

Oops!!

I’ll stop now.

“The fixity of a habit is generally 

in direct proportion to its absurdity.”

~ Marcel Proust

Turning - CHANGE - Theme for November 2019

Turning

Customary clothes and coins…

Habitual steps to…….

Always a struggle…….

Naive beginnings…….

Great and simple……

Effects are not what…….

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, 

but no one thinks of changing himself.”

~ Leo Tolstoy

Tangled

“I will have more time dedicated to writing the stories, poems and essays that swirl in my head.” This line was penned in my blog post from November 9, 2018. I had no idea. None at all. There are still only twenty four hours in each day. I was of the mistaken impression that the only time slots that would open to me were those from my work schedule. Seemed a logical idea to me at the time. I’m still in the process of locating that ‘time dedicated to writing……..’  Stories,  poems and essays seem to have sunk to the bottom of the pond like stones. Having been away from Victoria several times since my last shift on February 16, time seems to have been dedicated more to Wilson’s Transportation and BC Ferries! However, I’ve enjoyed more family visits than were readily available to me, so that I’m more than willing to accept.

What I am learning is there is another feeling in this early retirement phase. It is a feeling that is wrapped around, tangled and woven through each day. From awakening to sleep. Body memories that have not yet fully received the message that living life does not have to run at breakneck speed. There is a new order to be discovered. Unless there is a specific appointment time, living life can be done much more thoughtfully. Peering about for changes in habits of a life time that no longer serve. Learning that there are more choices available in time spent on the simplest of activities. Learning to specifically locate this ‘time dedicated to writing’ or any other art (painting comes to mind) by positioning myself correctly. Positioning involves place (here or maybe there), a most optimum time (for me it’s the morning), and the  necessary tools. Should there be other travels to take, formal lessons to be learned or time spent with family and friends, I want ~ and need ~ them all to be positioned authentically. Retirement offers a release from being so very tightly wound and tangled.

“Let go of your old tired habits and plant new habits in fertile soil.”

~ Harley King, author

Basically

Tossing and turning in the midst of

a new day challenges 

a reach for the basics of life

routines familiar and real

habits heathy & kind to sight and sound.

Grounding past experience, 

future expectations ~ 

each moment a new experience ~ while enjoying a ‘sister visit’ surrounded by story, memory and good food.

“Instincts and fundamentals take over sometimes.”

 ~ Alex Smith

Shift

Attitudinally shifting.

Such an awkward word pairing!

Sort of like the awkwardness of shifting 

an attitude from habitual and ineffective 

to effectively habitual.

Attitudes are learned.

Young thirsty minds soak in attitudes 

that wander and swirl through families 

and communities only shifting when education and experience introduce 

new ideas and perceptions

An ‘attitude of gratitude’ ~

An old expression offering

one simple shift to 

clear away attitudes

of anger, fear and sadness

creating peace of mind.

“People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.”

~ John C. Maxwell

Anchoring Habits

Anchor habits. Two words that resonated with me this morning. Having read them a few weeks ago, set them aside and forgotten them, it was as though I was reading them for the first time. I have some basic anchor habits in the morning, but throughout day, any anchor habits disappear without much notice. They seem to drift away sometime after lunch. Losing that anchor, I seem to drift away as well without any clear direction unless there is some kind of busy work absolutely needing my attention. Granted, in the afternoon, most of us have been running about our day, getting things done, getting to appointments, watching the clock or calendar so in the afternoon we do feel slower. Our body clocks are actually set for an afternoon nap. How many of us take that slowed down, sometimes very sleepy feeling, seriously? Time for at least a pause whether at work outside or inside our homes. Time to say hello again to ourselves. Time to be kind to ourselves and sit with a cup of tea - or coffee. Maybe only five minutes, maybe fifteen minutes. 

Chosen anchor habits really are started in childhood when we learn to set our clothes out at night for school, brush our teeth, eat a good breakfast. As we grow into adolescence and adulthood, some of those childhood things may be put away or maybe just revised to fit a new, growing and active life. Not everyone eats breakfast! Such a foreign concept. When I was a kid, a long time ago, coming home from school, despite carrying a load of books, was all about play time. Put the books down, put on some play clothes and go play or read a book. Homework was for later. The only anchor habit was to make sure I had the right clothes on for the right task - in this case Tag or Kick the Can. Talking about this really does relate to my Guidelines for Daily Planning. When creating that plan this morning, it was the anchor habits and what I would choose to do in the afternoon that intrigued me. Sit down and stay down til bedtime? Putter and go in circles til bedtime? Cook something? It has been my experience in the world of nursing that, most people’s energy is good and some really strong in the morning. This does include staff and patients. Energy spent in activities, emotionally challenging situations or, if at home, just the everyday activities and challenges of life, normally and naturally, dissipates. Our work world, like our school world, demands that energy level does not flag - at least until we are outside of those institutions. But we all need energy to play, to know our communities, to participate in fun with family and friends, to rest and recuperate.

Anchor habits, in the morning, establish a steady gathering and storing of energy. Emotional, physical and spiritual energy. Anchor habits in the afternoon, following a day busy or quiet, may or may not have already been established. Personally, I do have some ideas for what some of them may be for me. Part of my plan for today, is to be alert for what they may be, adjust ones not of value for today and keep ones that support this depth process. Knowing the value of morning anchor habits and deciding to examine my afternoon anchor habits brings to mind an Al-Anon slogan ‘Take what you like and leave the rest’. These pieces of wisdom set judgement aside. This opportunity offers choices that will anchor us in our own lives.

“Let go of your old tired habits and plant new habits in fertile soil.”

~ Harley King

Don’t forget!  March is Epilepsy month with Purple Day for Epilepsy on March 26 each year.

Cornering ~ 1

Peeling away 

old habits stuck firmly to our lives,

old routines grinding in unending loops

once useful and maybe even fun

takes courage and thought.

Some have become 

boxes with little flexibility

stifling and robotic ~

airless rooms where creativity slowly fades.

Softening and opening the corners

to create simplicity in each moment

breathes energy and life into

new habits and new routines for each day.

“Free yourself from the rigid conduct of tradition and 

open yourself to the new forms of probability.”

~ Hans Bender

Characteristically Clothed

Characteristically Clothed

Sarah wore her age well. Just the right amount of lines. Not too, too many gray hairs. The contents of her closet showed it’s age more than she did. Sarah’s grand-daughter had just visited and made that pronouncement. ‘Grandma, your clothes are nice but they look like you’re old! And you’re not!’ Now, looking in her closet, Sarah burst into tears. She had to do something about her life.

Sarah wanted, more than anything, to stop crying all the time. Like everyone she was not perfect, but the crying had bothered her more each day. She cried at the drop of the hat! It could be tears of joy or tears of sadness. Movies were the worst for her, but it could be the sight of a child at play. Or the frustration of opening a stubborn jar! Always a crier since she was a child, she remembered her mother fussing at her. ‘You are just so sensitive! Do you have to cry at everthing?!’ 

How does one change a habit of a lifetime? She had been to many doctors about her ‘problem’. After all their poking and prodding, blood tests and even x-rays, they all had the same answer. ‘There’s nothing wrong, Mrs Albright. You are just very sensitive. Have you considered seeing a counselor or psychiatrist about learning how to cope with stressors?’ That suggestion just got Sarah’s back up and brought sudden tears to her eyes. It was the proverbial lightbulb moment.

Then she had an idea. An idea that seemed so simple that, after all these years, Sarah didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of it before. When her tears flowed so quickly, she was angry. So angry she wanted to scream. As a child, she had been taught that anger was a bad thing. Without realizing it, that scream became silent tears. 

Sarah, unbeknownst to her doctor or to her children, did go to a counselor. The counselor was a bit taken aback that Sarah was asking for anger management for crying. Most people referred to her had a variety of violence issues, often sent by a court of law. But Sarah did present a challenge. After several sessions, Sarah began to recognize when she was becoming angry.

When Sarah returned home, she went to that closet of dated clothes. Her tears had been angry tears! Sarah’s solution? A shopping trip was in order with a huge donation of clothes to a thrift store.

“That’s the thing about lessons, you always learn them 

when you don’t expect them or want them.”

~ Ceclia Ahern, If You Could See Me Now

Old Habits Die Hard

Old Habits Die Hard

Harry’s back was sore. His knees ached. And his shoulders. His shoulders felt pushed down and heavy. Harry the Habit was quite grumpy. He heaved himself out of his comfortable old chair, scrabbling around for his walking stick. A walking stick as old and gnarled as he was. 

“I’m getting too old for this and I’m just plain tired.”

Harry the Habit had had to watch his language far too long. When Lulu was a child, he understood. Now? She hadn’t been a child for longer than he’d been alive. Now he had a few choice words for her when she used him as an excuse for not getting things done. Things she said she wanted to do. Always getting them started and then running out of steam. Blaming it on Harry the Habit. No wonder his back was so hunched and sore. Clothing? He had to throw on any old robe lying around. He had warty bumps and lumps on his nose and his ears. When he was young, he was tall, handsome with baby smooth skin.

When Harry had landed the assignment to teach the child her life lessons, he had been on top of the world, flushed with pride that he had been chosen. He did think it would be a piece of cake, but didn’t know that the precious baby girl would grow up. Grow up and learn more than he would teach her. Then he was afraid that he would sit in a quiet corner, gathering the dust that floated through the child’s mind. When she didn’t need him anymore, he would just get tossed on the ‘lesson’s learned’ scrap heap.

Every day, as soon as she got out her paper, pen and those new fangled technology things, he had to hoist himself up and get to work securing all the old habits. “Sit still and colour.” “Don’t be silly.” “You won’t be playing with paper dolls when you’re a big girl.”

Didn’t Lulu know she was a big girl and had been for decades! Always too busy with her life outside of her head to pay attention to old Harry the Habit. All those habits they had established were useless. Harry felt useless. Actually, Harry was bored. Why was she never curious enough to create any new habits? Put a new twist on some of the oldies but goodies. 

This making sure to stay stuck was just so much noise. ‘Harry, the tape’s come loose again.’ ‘Harry. The door's open and it’s drafty in here.’  ‘Harry….. pound a nail, get some more glue, seal up that window.’ 

He Was Too Old.

Well next time she asked him to keep her stuck he was just going to say No. Do it yourself. Harry would hand her his tool box, go back to his chair, turn the TV on and unless he had any new ideas he wouldn’t reply. 

“Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? 

You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit.”

~ Gordon Parks

Author's note: Edited January 21, 2024

Away From Shore

Bravery settled into calm
determination to do what was needed

Determination stepped forward
into the muck of what was right

Doing what was right
flew in the face of habit

Habit was given the bum’s rush
when bravery settled into calm.

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you lose sight of the shore.”

~ William Faulkner

Flying Free

Happy endings are possible

Tragedy and death not the only outcome

Songs of blue skies not dark skies tell of so much more

Back to school

Off to work

Raise a family

Learn a trade or profession

Expand education

Participate in and support community

At the beginning

the word ‘addiction’ sinks like a stone 

into a heart broken, beaten or bruised

in great waves of shame and sadness

when the meaning is in no doubt.

Years of detox and treatment

all for the others and others and others

gathered bits and bobs here and there

knowledge and lessons

connections and health

Is it easy? Not so much ~

shedding set habits and old friends

like skin that has clung too long

finding new habits and new friends

feeling lost and alone

clarity of thought a frightening stranger.

Can it be done?

Sure thing - change occurs

at different paces over time.

with commitment

with intention

full benefits of living differently dawn slowly

“Since we cannot change reality, let us

change the eyes which see reality.”

~ Nikos Kazantzakis