It Felt Good

There are days when everything clicks along from the time eyes open, this wasn’t one of them. It was deceitful. Eyes opened, morning moved along to breakfast and then it was time for a nap…..a long one. When I thought about it, the last several days had been busy. Keeping me on my toes whether I wanted to or not. It happens to everyone. How many know when to stop and just breathe - or take a nap. Listen to body and mind. Many of us have an old message on repeat play that says ‘You’re lazy’ or ‘Get the work done and quickly!’ Even if it’s the weekend or retired. So changing the message becomes the challenge. Giving permission for time for some ‘me time’ and then taking it. Our futures just may depend on it!

“When you rest, you catch your breath 

    and it holds you up, like water wings….”

~ Anne Lamott

 

p.s. After I had rested, I finished the laundry……and some other things on my to do list.

Around the Kitchen Table

Around the kitchen table ~

over saucy ribs and watermelon, 

a quiet visit with Russ and Fenna, 

stories curled, 

wandered into the night.

“Everyone visits with each other for its purpose.”

~ Ehsan Sehgal, Dutch-Pakistani poet

After the Storm

A violent prairie storm 

whipped the city last night, 

branches bent ~ twisting away without hesitation.

Today, stunning sun calmed and dried it all ~ from branches, 

seed pods dried in clumps, 

await their turn to separate and fly.

“Our patience will achieve more than our force.”

~ Edmund Burke

Chapter Two, Episode 139 - Mixed Emotions - Situationally Theirs

Mixed Emotions

Emelina cleaned her entire upstairs living quarters. Earlier, she had gone to the housekeepers closet for extra cleaning supplies. Cook noticed but continued her meal prep for a late lunch her employer had requested. When she heard the dumbwaiter being opened, she paid closer attention. “Now, what on earth is she up to?” Emelina was loading paper towels, cleaning solutions, a box of plastic gloves and window cleaner in a basket. Setting it in the dumbwaiter, she stepped back, wiped her shirtsleeve across her forehead and pushed the up button. She jumped when Cook spoke. “Miss Em, are you forgetting we have a housekeeper come in to do the heavy work every week?” Cook never was one to mince words, even with her boss. Emelina had hoped that Cook wouldn’t notice. Her cheeks colouring and looking quite guilty, she stammered “Oh, just a little extra cleaning Cook.” Trying to keep a straight face, Elizabeth said  “With all those supplies, it looks like more than a little bit. If you need help just call down to me.” 

~~~~~

Emelina was excited. She thought she was foolish to be so excited when she was almost fifty years old. When Digby had asked her if she would host a dinner, she was glad to have the opportunity. Realizing that it would be the first in well over the two years of the pandemic, her excitement started to build. And she was as nervous as she had been at the first party she had hosted when she was sixteen! She was a different person from those times. The adolescent nervousness she understood. In later years, when she was being a ‘good society wife’ for Michael and the years after he died, she was snooty and expected Digby, Martha and Cook to jump at her every whim. When she got out of control, it was her maid Brigitte who could help her get under control. She missed her steadying influence. The relationship she had with her staff was so different now; she was different now. She had long wondered how she could repay their goodness and kindness, and why they even had stayed as long as they had. “Oh, stop. Being all maudlin is not going to get the dusting done………and all the rest of it! What have I taken on!?” An aggressive knock on the door, jolted her mid stride to the vacuum cleaner. It was quickly followed by a big “Helloo! I’m coming in!” 

“Dez. That’s who can help me with this. She probably doesn’t know yet, unless Digby has called her yet………………Dez! Come in. I need your help.” Emelina breathed a sigh of relief.

“What is going on up here?!” Hands on her hips, Dez was surveying all the tools of the housekeeping trade scattered all over, knick knacks from the sideboard crowded onto the table, a feather duster laying beside a can of furniture polish, dining room chairs pulled back from the table, vacuum cleaner looking ready to take off, couch cushions stacked on the floor. “And look at you. Hair all covered in a kerchief, the oldest clothes I’ve ever seen you wear. Are those holes in the jeans? Are you all right?” As she talked, Dez became more and more concerned. The last time she had seen her sister like this was…it was….. that party when they were teenagers. Their mother had already cleaned the house, but it wasn’t good enough for her dear sister. Dez smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand. “Really!?” Digby had called her and asked if she and Matt could attend a dinner party. He explained the reason and that there would be at least two of the couples there. Dez contacted Matt and it was a go, just tell us the particulars and we’ll be there. They had no immediate plans and would be glad to help. Dez decided to go to the Estate and let her sister know of Digby’s call. When she got there, found the whole upstairs turned upside down and her big sister looking frazzled and over whelmed, she knew something was up. Not just the dinner. She felt like giving her a big hug, but knew that would come later. “Talk to me, Em.” Then it all spilled out. How awful she’d been to her people, how this was a chance for her to repay them, how nervous she was, how scared, how excited, how she wanted it to be perfect. Emelina was crying. Dez put her arm around her sister’s shoulders and led her like a little child to the couch. She pulled a crumpled tissue from her purse, wiped her sisters eyes and waited. Finally Em sat up, her hands balled tightly in front of her face, and stared out the far window. “I got so caught up in having people come to this dining room……my dining room…..again…. I forgot that the dinner is about Digby. This is his project and I’m trying to make it mine.” She turned to her sister. “Thank you. How did you know I’d need you right here, right now?” Dez  said “I didn’t. I came to tell you Digby called me. Just good timing I guess.” The sisters held hands and silence settled in the room. A few minutes passed, Dez felt restless. “Let’s get this place back in order. I hear Cook rattling around down there. We’ll do a little bit, go have some lunch, and then come back to finish up. We can find out what day the dinner is planned for and when the housecleaner comes in. If we need to we can get her in early, you can just keep things in order and tidied up in between time.” Dez got up and began from one end of the living room, picking up and putting away. Emelina started the vacuum and did the rugs in the dining room, put all the chairs back in place. They worked in silence until the chaos of before had been tamed. 

~~~~~

One other person was excited. There was to be a party again!! The little ghost girl Sarah had watched Emelina in her wild attempts to clean. She even helped pushed the dining room chairs back against the wall. Yes, she was excited too.

~~~~~

“Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion.”

~ Anonymous

Limitless

“Recognizing limits 

by testing abilities

cuts through the chatter of

I can’t. I shouldn’t. 

It opens the door to

how can I? 

and why not?

“I choose not to place “DIS” in my ability.”

~ Robert M. Hensel, author

On an Afternoon Walk - Heat Warning

Usually a proper walk is when 

cool breeze caresses my skin

sun is warm and gentle,

birds sing, hop through the branches

waves lap at the lake shore………….

But not today - 

temperatures soared to the heights

breeze muddled hot air

sun burned through my hat

birds nestled deep in the trees

concrete too hot for bare feet.

But it’s only temporary……..

“It was the type of day that could wilt a metal gatepost.”

~ Colin Cotterill, Thirty-Three Teeth

Beautiful Shadows

There is always a horizon surrounding me,

when the world is too big 

so full of distractions,

gathering bright shiny things

that blind me to my focus

When I choose to slow my dance, 

the world is only a moment and

I’ll see the flowers along my path,

remembering my grandmother's gardens ~ 

all my horizons become beautiful shadows.

“The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say.”

~ Gregory Maguire, novelist