Just a Curiosity

I needed a place to put my coins ~ change saved for 

a gift down the road

I keep them all wrapped 

snugly but they are too heavy 

for a plastic bag! 

I emptied a plastic container that had held four cranberry scones ~ they were good ~

toasted with butter and cream cheese. The heavy weight of the coins in this empty container 

that had held just a treat for me struck me 

with the weight of our food purchases.

Just a curiosity while keeping these coins safe.

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”

~ Henry David Thoreau

Between Choices

I asked myself

What is courage?

A tiny voice whispers to me 

that there is no such thing 

until there is a thin veil 

between choices that pull and tug against each other. 

One must win out. 

Heart and soul take charge, 

if only for a moment, to find safety 

past the thin veil between choices.

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we 

truly are, far more than our abilities.”

~ J.K.Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Safety in the Heat

I love being outside with the morning sun 

on the other side of the building letting me take my 

breakfast and my writing onto my shady balcony.

The forecast tells me the sun will be turning up 

the temperature throughout the day. In the morning 

I am safe and happy. Safety is a big deal for me and 

in the afternoon heat, safety is best kept indoors. 

Except I was restless. Walking somewhere, anywhere, is my treat; my absolute joy. In the afternoon, do I stay indoors or do I crazily brave the wilting flowers, the melting pavement, the hot cement under my feet and hope the wind is cool enough? On a good day, I’d be off to the grocery store, the pet store, the hair dresser, or just a walk at the lake. But today, despite a clear blue sky, despite a wind that may or may not be friendly, is not a good day. 

I draw the line at being told I can't go for a walk ~ it's too dangerous, you know, with the heat and your epilepsy. But I've been stable for a couple of decades now; merely faint stirrings in some mornings. No tsunami of seizure activity. But I know to hesitate, to breathe and to make a plan before getting all stubborn and taking a bus to the store. Sure I get my walks in, but at what price? Excessive heat + bossy epilepsy can mean the tsunami wall can get knocked down. And believe you me, the heat today is excessive. So I made a plan: test it out by going for a walk around the block. My test results? Too hot for anything more than around the block! No seizure activity, but my thinking got a little wonky until I cooled off. 

(I did nip into the gas station for a small carton of ice cream before taking my perspiring self into the cool.)

“Epilepsy is something nobody knows much about. It’s just a 

part of me, part of my head, part of what’s happening 

in there. Sometimes something in my brain triggers it off.”

~ Neil Young, musician

Sheltered

Sheltered ……

from knowledge

is awkward when

ancient beliefs hold fast

Sheltered…….

from ancient beliefs

makes knowledge

vulnerable and translucent

Sheltered ……

from each other

we can become

afraid of the world

Shelter……

of any kind is necessary 

but needs safety and balance 

for us to step boldly into life.

“I am a writer who came of a sheltered life. 

A sheltered life can be a daring life as well.

For all serious daring starts from within.”

~ Eudora Welty

At Home

Saturdays come and go every seven days, filled with errands, chores and whatever else I feel like doing. Every now and then, I pass up on all the above and they get pushed into whatever corners of time they fit. Housework has long been just a chore and a bore. Since getting settled in my home, it often still is a chore. Now it comes with a feeling of ownership. Respect and responsibility, design and redecorate. Place things just so, and for those things that no longer serve me, find them a new home. Even if it’s the garbage, but preferably given to someone else. On Saturdays, I engage with my home, caring for my home, to give me a safe place to live, to write and to develop retirement in safety.

“Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. 

When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.”

~ Clint Eastwood

Calm ~ 2

Frayed ideas filter through my mind

classical music filters into and around me 

in the quiet of early evening

stirring ~ what? ~ my soul?

A peaceful nebulous part of me

ever present but invisible

tucked safely in my heart

while my life proceeds apace

as each day passes

frayed ideas settle and rest

classical music hovers softly

in the quiet of early evening.

“May you live every day of your life.”

~ Jonathan Swift

Perspective ~ 5

This will be short ~

My dilemma:

Returning a gift when transportation was awkward.

My success:

I did it successfully, 

other errands done in about 3 hours, 

then home to hot soup and a crisp salad.

Ukraine’s dilemma:

Defending their country and freedoms while keeping their citizens safe.

Ukraine’s success:

Despite constant shelling they continue their fight. Few citizens are safe, many have died or been injured, almost all have lost their homes ~ 28 days and counting.

“loving people live in a loving world. 

hostile people live in a hostile world. same world.”

~ Wayne W. Dyer

Gone?

There are safe places for everything ~ 

logical and accessible places.

Cubby holes for the tiniest. 

Drawers for any size.

Files to organize documents  ~ until they get too full

Recipe cards tucked away ~ but not in the recipe drawer

All these safe places are firmly memorized…..

Our unfailing logic chooses these safe places,

in these homes where we reside every single day. 

Homes designed with our own organization in mind. 

Easy peasy. 

Right. 

And still keys vanish

Glasses become ghosts.

Cell phones have risen to ‘the cloud’

 ~ with the sound turned off

Kitchen utensils probably never were.

Where did I put that thing!?

“First up the lost and found has gone missing, It itself is lost, 

So please try not to lose anything until we find it.,”

~ Michael Scott, Irish author

Choice Changes

“You made your bed 

       now lie in it.”

Making my bed this morning 

with mitred corners, 

 smoothing sheets and blankets, 

  plumping life into flattened pillows, 

my nightly comfort 

  and daily pleasure was paramount.

Through these 72 years, many metaphorical beds

have been well made ~ some not so well made.

Choices and how I ‘make my bed’ have created 

a difference in my comfort and safety.

“There are no hopeless situations, sweetheart, only people who have 

grown hopeless about them. You still have choices you can make.”

~ Andy Andrews, The Heart Mender: A Story of Second Chances

Rhythm and Music ~1

Habitual steps to dancing

only one dance ever danced

can get pretty old ~ 

but safe in the knowing ~

Play new music,

  sing new songs,

stride out to find new energy.

Shift all the steps

quicken your pace ~

  or maybe slow it down.

Hear the deep, flowing music

inside your soul and

outside of your head to know 

the rhythm that keeps you safe.

“Some rules are nothing but old habits 

that people are afraid to break.”

~ Theres Fowler, Souvenir

Living Villages

Villages are where we go 

when urban life becomes too hectic

and rural life feels too isolated.

We poke into shops and stores,

have coffee or tea in small cafes.

We stroll the sidewalks rather than 

striding with harried purpose.

Villages are where,

in spring, summer and fall,

we go to find a smaller world.

Cold rains or icy snows of winter 

signal time for villages to blossom inside

growing new strengths and plans for 

the scores of people that cherish them.

Villages are where we can be friendly,

chatting with friends or strangers from

countless villages and neighbourhoods ~ 

travellers from around the corner or across the globe

join together, remain or return home. 

Villages are where urban densities have grown

as roads and bridges have gathered them together

into one big urban landscape although

villages, like the individuals that make up humanity,

have made up that whole daunting city.

Villages are where all roads meet

sharing cultures and beliefs until 

we each find a niche that allows 

safety and comfort to envelop us.

Villages are where we all meet and live.

“Even if you live in a big city, everybody lives in a small town. 

We identify ourselves by our neighbourhoods - 

‘I live in the Village, or in Chelsea.”

~ Karin Slaughter

Pillow Fluff

My soft clenched fists pummel matted, squashed pillows not from anger but punching up rest from my restless head after a night of tossing and turning to find a calm, restful sleep.

Preparing these stoic pillows

for falling asleep so my head senses the softness of morning with a night full of dreams in the dark.

Our pillows hold our dreams ~

keep them safe until

new dreams wave and drift into

pillowed resilience while

soaking up bizarre dreams and restless nightmares

or like a potter’s wheel

molds a kaleidoscope of good dreams.

“There are as many pillows of illusion as flakes in a snow-storm. 

We wake from one dream into another dream.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson