Death Came

Death came

not peacefully but with many tries

squeezing through tubes and wires

unwelcome by the healers

aging or infirmity meaning nothing

hearts desires discounted

inner wisdom unchallenged

Death 

a next step in a span of time

thwarted

avoided

ignored

The phantom elephant in the room

In the bed

gliding halls

beside wheelchairs

next to stretchers

Fearful longings of desperate family

pushed the heavy load of grief

along side beds

and wheelchairs 

and stretchers

Tamping down family fears

letting go of a deeply loved father

hearts dripping with tears.

Death was finally acknowledged.

“A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep and

there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist.”

~ Stewart Alsop

Being 60

Now that you've reached the big 60..... 

1. You are no longer in the dreaded 50’s, where you have been expected to be mature – adult – reasonable – boring.

2. If you knock off the 0, you are now at the grand age of 6 and are getting ready to enter Grade One.  This time you get to choose the school, the teacher and all the subjects.

3. At the same time, you have entered the age of the ‘Wise Women’.  Who defines that?  Hmm…. Do you know any?

4. A 6 has no sharp pointy squared off things like 5 or 4, 7 or 1.  These will be mixed in over the next decade, but always preceded by the softness of the six.  

5. The very roundness of 60 is similar to those body parts with affectionate pet names like love handles, and bat wings – well some maybe not so affectionate. 

6. You have now officially passed from the realm of so-called adulthood with your inner child intact and ready to play.

7. Although your new 6 year old may just be getting ready for school, you’ve already done all that and can do whatever you want to!  

8. If you look very closely, it looks like a 6 is just one line doing one thing – making a 6.  But….where that line ends, completing the six, it just connects to the spine of the 6 and you can just go ‘round the circle again and again – until you’re dizzy and you fall off – if you want to.

9. If you straighten the little spine of the 6, give it a more solid backbone, you can be a ‘b’ for beautiful, bold, brave and brilliant.  If you turn it facing the other way you become a‘d’ for decadent, delightful, and daring. If dancing is your thing, add a flag or two on top and you can have any musical note you want.

10. You can now say, with great pride, that because of the shape of    that dear little 6, you have no choice but to become loopier than you were in your 50’s and before.

11. And finally, you have 10 years in front of you before you have to straighten out and be all sharp and pointy again.  (Hopefully, by then you’ll have realized that a 7 is not a cane but a hockey stick turned upside down.)

So aging really can be turned on it's head if you really study your numbers!

“Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

~ Betty Friedan

Perception

I spoke with a man of thirty and five, he said he was getting old

I spoke with a woman of forty and six, she said she was aging too

I spoke with a man of fifty and three, he groaned when he said his age.

I spoke with a woman of sixty and six ~

she said she was as ancient as dust.

I spoke with a man of seventy-two,

He said “I’m busy, don’t have time to get old.”

I spoke with a woman of eighty and eight

she said "I'll talk later, I'm catching a plane."

I spoke with a man of ninety and seven

he said “I may be old, but I can still golf!”

“With time and experience comes a different 

perception of what’s going on around you.”

~ Chris Robinson, singer

Molly Never Ages

Making my bed, as I do most mornings,

I smoothed the quilt,

propped up the pillows,

placed Molly in her place on top

where she perches for the day.

Molly is a soft body doll

made by a friend of mine 

from my Texas days.

Machine embroidered sleepy sad eyes

light brown yarn hair grown tousled 

and messy over the years

blue dress with lacy frills at collar, sleeves and hem

and is actually a reminder of a doll I had in childhood.

Why does a career woman of 65 years have such a doll?

Aren’t we to ‘put away childish things’?

Molly is a doll that cuddles when you want a cuddle

sits quietly when quiet is what is needed

and is a familiar face of greeting at the end of the day.

Many such dolls and stuffed animals have adorned 

beds of aging and aged patients cared for over the last many years,

tucked in the crook of an arm, 

propped on pillows.

In most of my career, I thought it was 

just a part of being old

‘cute’ but really didn’t get it

Now I do.

“Age does not make us childish, 

as some say; it finds us true children.”

~ James Anthony Froude

Birthday's Are Special

Birthdays are special

no matter what age

although some disagree

ignoring each page

We each have a number

attached to our life

that comes with an image

no matter the strife.

These numbers demand

that behaviour is such,

yet hearts lived through decades

should be tenderly touched.

I’m off to a birthday ~ 

70 years is the mark ~

Good food, friends and laughter

til almost past dark!

“Pleas’d to look forward, pleas’d to look behind,

And count each birthday with a grateful mind.”

~ Alexander Pope

Decades of Opportunity

Aging is a process 

from conception to death

from generation to generation

Minds feel ancient when issues arise mulled over when of an age 20 - 30 - 40 - 50

Effective, logical solutions seem obvious but,

only for dynamics of the decade of 20 - 30 - 40 - 50.

These young aging adults of 20 - 30 - 40 - 50

all have come to their own lives ~ 

with the accumulations of their lives ~

Life experience,

Family values

Community experience and values

Knowledge gathered at 20 - 30 - 40 - 50 becomes 

wisdom of experience of 60 - 70 - 80 - and onwards.

Scraping past the rough edges of 60

is entry into more decades of 

learning

refining

sharing

shaping

giving free rein to curiosity

learning the decade of the present.

“Knowledge about life is one thing; effective occupation of a place in life,

with it’s dynamic currents passing through your being, is another.”

~ William James

Riding through Life

Aging ~ a topic often met with fear, laughter or derision.

So many jokes about so much of it, as if aging were inevitable.

And then there’s the saying ‘aging gracefully’ ~

now what does that mean?

There’s a tendency to be resentful, and with a bit less stamina, not very graceful.

Another disliked phrase? ~ ‘it’s just part of aging,’

Often said with a gentle, almost patronizing tone ~

a pat on the head wouldn’t be surprising.

Quite frankly I don’t have time for any of it.

I've learned to do things differently ~ 

at different paces,

what’s absolutely necessary and what is not

words jumble, tumble and dart away from the tip of my tongue

only minor annoyances, that slow me down.

In high school the big question was, and still is: What do you want to be when you grow up?

When you’re 65, and still working: When are you going to retire?

What happened to the growing up part, all that space in between?

Not ready to park my bike any time soon, I’ll just keep on riding.

“Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.”

~ George Burns (1886-1996)