Bird Watch

There really are a couple of birds inside those branches!

Numerous attempts this morning to get a photo of either the House Wrens or the hummingbirds that frequent this lovely bush, I decided it had become too big a challenge. They are all so very quick and are camouflaged so well. Only by movement do I see them. For example, just now as I write this one of the wrens went inside the nest, pouching out the very flexible sides. Interior work has begun. I’ve seen this activity several times as I’ve been here at my desk. The nest is very secure, even the breezes haven’t shifted it. So, due to my lack of success, I’ve added a short poem I wrote earlier today for distancing family and friends of mine:

An iridescent hummingbird

zooms and sips

shaded fuchsia flowers.

 “There is unreasonable joy to be had from the observation of 

small birds going about their bright, oblivious business.”

~ Grant Hutchison,  The Complete Lachlan

Avian Construction Site

Taken from the other side of the window glass.

What am I curious about today? Not how to pace through ‘how do I live through this crazy time?’ What has piqued my curiosity this morning is the House Wren outside my window. Writing from my desk this morning, I kept looking up at the one little brown bird fussing and fluffing the little nest I wrote about on Wednesday. There has only been one bird yesterday and today, not the two that I originally saw. Wanting to go outside and investigate, I was very hesitant. After the chittering chastisement I received Wednesday for just taking a picture outside, I thought it best to stay at this distance.

I have really wanted to know - are these birds wrens or  chick-a-dees? Once more, Google to the rescue. I located an Audubon site with images, sounds and nesting habits. It confirmed to me that, very likely, House Wrens are taking up residence in the flowering shrub outside my window. But then my curiosity took hold again. Why am I only seeing one bird ~ not two? Hmm - in documentaries I’ve learned that some other birds have curious nesting habits. The male makes the nest - and some make a big fuss over it. Is this what is going on? So back to the Audubon site for a little reading.

It turns out that House Wrens do indeed share that behaviour with a bit of a twist. Two nests are built by the male. Obviously quite a distance from each other as I only see one. One nest may be the permanent residence, while the other is a ‘dummy’ nest. The female evaluates both nests and decides which one she thinks would make the best one for her eggs. I did see the two of them this morning. The male still fussing over the placement of teeny tiny twigs and fluff. He has created a quite substantial nest to this human’s eye. The female, sitting a couple branches over and watching, will be the judge of his work. I do hope she chooses the nest I can see so I can keep an eye on the life of these two ordinary brown House Wrens and any chicks that enter the world.

“The knowledge of all things is possible.”

~ Leonardo da Vinci

Feeling Overwhelmed at Meal Time?

Good afternoon everyone! Spring has finally sprung on this 19th day of March. For a moment I was confused, but in conversation with my sister in Alberta. (social distance!) she reminded me that a Leap Year changes things. As if we’re not in the middle of a million, thousand changes right now! 

Anyway that brings me to a far more important issue. Lunch. Here at my desk. It’s rather strange combination of breakfast food (grapefruit and toast) and lunch or dinner food (chili with salmon). The glass of milk can be seen at anytime of day or night. Just fits wherever anyone wants it to fit. By the way, I had gotten some homemade rhubarb jam out of the fridge for my toast. It is now slathered on my toast and is quite delicious. 

In this pandemic situation, there’s been hoarding and really some pretty unfair practices with folks. I will say that if I am feeling anxious about all the what if’s, then I’m not the only one. Sometimes the hoarding will be about not being safe and fed. Another concern that I have is that some anxieties go right to the appetite and not in an overeating sort of way. Sometimes, eating regularly is the farthest thing from someones mind. Or maybe just the work of getting even a small lunch together is too much. Or, another issue - chocolate and bags of chips. While that can be great comfort, it pales beside real comfort food.

I am used to cooking and making up easy to manage dishes. I’ve done that most of my life. Buying my meals at work was costing too much money and didn’t taste as good as homemade, so I developed that practice. Our parents, in my childhood home, had taught us the skills to make the most of our food. Not everyone has had such a beautiful and similar experience. Today it is more important that ever. Not only does preparing food in advance make any meal time easier, any cooking spreads delicious aromas through the house. 

Rely on cook books (I have more than I need), google, You-tube and anything your grandparents or parents may have told you. Enjoy this part of the journey that none of us asked for. Food doesn’t have to be fancy or necessarily even delicious ~ I’m not pleased with the chili with salmon ~ just doesn’t seem right without ground beef. Yams on the other hand in chili are wonderful.

Keep hydrated, (Sorry Texas ~ I put all kinds of things in my chili.) eating meals ~ small and frequent can be better that three squares. Stay well out there!

“Food is everything we are. It’s an extension of nationalist feeling, 

ethnic feeling, your personal history, your province, your region, 

your tribe, your grandma. It’s inseparable from those from the get-go.”

~ Anthony Bourdain

Today's Lunch Menu:

Chili - made two weeks ago with canned beans, tomatoes, corn and salmon. Kept in the freezer in separate containers.

Bread - homemade - kept in the refrigerator so I don't eat it all up!

Grapefruit - kept cut up and stored in the refrigerator

Rhubarb jam (not in the photo) - made with rhubarb last fall.

Milk - I did not milk the cow.

Still Unknown but......

Looks in the centre - doesn't look like much of a nest but
has been very carefully put together.

Hello everyone. Yesterday I opened my post with ‘I’m not going to sugar coat this. I’m scared.’ Today, I’m still not going in for sugar coating. So, how can a person go from being scared to being calm. By the way, as I write this at my desk, I can see a tiny little wren or chick-a-dee building its nest. Two  of them have been flitting about in the flowers all morning. I saw them from my bedroom window and now from my office window. I did see what looked like a little nest but couldn’t be certain. One of them seems to be having some difficulty fitting in some piece of paper or plastic but just keeps working away. Anyway, back to writing this post. How can a mood that seems so stuck in the mud, be lifted away? (The little piece of paper or plastic has been tucked under the bottom of the nest. A nest only a little bigger than a large egg).

I know, from past experience, that a ‘stuck in the mud’ mood isn’t going anywhere if I try to force it. Doesn’t work. Anxiety and any fear of the unknown does literally interfere with our sleep ~ getting to sleep, staying asleep and sometimes sluggish sleep. While sorely tempted to pull a blanket over my head and turn away from the world, I knew, also from previous experience, that would have been very counterproductive. Keeping moving, doing the next right thing. In this case it involved food. Not eating ~ well, eating was involved ~ but cleaning my refrigerator. After all, a cinnamon bun couldn’t be put back in a clean fridge! All shiny and quite gorgeous, I know that my food and thus myself, is cared for. 

The final blow to that ‘stuck in the mud’ mood was something I learned a very long time ago. Of all the self help books, daily reading books and just books I have read this story has created a ledge for me. A seat and message I can depend on regardless of the situation. From the AlAnon One Day at a Time daily reading book for May 3, this quotation is from the special part of that page:

“…..a story of an Englishwoman at the time of the blitz in the Second World War. Her husband had met sudden death,……………My mother taught me, when I was a little girl, that when anything very dreadful happens, I must think of what I would be doing if it had not happened and then do that.”

After that, so much more can be done. Like watching a little bird build a nest and finding joy and curiosity in their fluttering work, walking in the sunshine, staying connected in this crazy time of disconnection.… Let life be as life is and find that same joy, ordinariness and curiosity that still exists.

“I must think of what I would be doing if 
it had not happened and then do that.”

~ One Day at a Time, May 3rd

The UnKnown

I’m not going to sugar coat this. I am scared. Not all the time. When the fright seems to have passed, it really has moved very quietly to the farthest reaches at the back of the oldest part my brain. I believe that’s better known as the lizard brain. The part of the human brain that acts on survival instinct rather than reason. Lizards are really very beautiful critters. Their dappled and very thick skin. Big, blinking eyes. A wide mouth that almost seems to grin. I rather like them. But they, like many animals, act only on instinct. I like reason. I want to know the why of things. How can I work with something or should I set it aside? But that’s not the lizard brain thing. When lizard brain takes over then it seems time to hibernate, to dash away from real or perceived danger. The really sneaky part of that lizard brain ~ while I am asleep it creeps forward and greets me in the morning.

To counter that, there are strategies that so many others have taught me. Some of those people have left this earth, many are still in this viral thing with me, just as your family and friends are in this viral thing with you. Changing the silence in my home has always been a good thing ~ CBC and Michael Enright podcast Sunday Morning; Mary Hynes on Tapestry ~ an interview with Rabbi Kushner; contacting family and friends to know how they are coping……..any form of electronic connection. So many other activities popped up in my email basket. All of them respecting social distancing or self isolation. Walking in the sunshine this morning, cooking, cleaning, reading, viewing a history/documentary site on YouTube…….

Born and raised on a farm five miles from my hometown, we were isolated to a degree, when I was growing up. We were distanced from community but it was always accessible ~ even if it was to go to school. That was normal. Once living in the city, community has been all around us. We have coffee shops for visiting; restaurants for sharing meals ~ or someone else’s cooking; libraries with hundreds if not thousand of books. Now we are being asked, strongly asked, to distance or isolate from each other. And with very good reason. The transmission of this viral thing could very likely make us all very ill if we let it go unchecked.

So. What am I afraid of?  Not knowing past this minute. Or. What am I grateful for? So many things and people. For each of us it will be different given our life situation. For now, I have a clean refrigerator (that’s one thing I did this morning) with food to be cooked, a roof over my head, family and friends at a touch of this keyboard. Rabbi Kushner says that it’s not the situation but how we respond to the situation. Bless all of you out there in this crazy old world!

“Scared is what you’re feeling. Brave is what you’re doing.”

~ Emma Donoghue, Room

In Space

Time and space push and tug.

Time seems to stand still and race.

Space seems to change, shifting too fast

The real challenge is to 

stand still in your own space

when days before have been 

filled with 

going and doing and being

only for others.

Suddenly 

there is great responsibility 

to yourself and to others.

Be still.

Breathe.

Know that all is well in this moment.

No one knows what’s next in this world, so

Stop.

Think.

Stretch out your arms.

Stand still slowly in the midst

of this busyness and fright.

Stretch your arms wide

And feel your own space.

“Check your passions that you may not be punished by them.”

~ Epictetus, Enchiridion

The Department of Change

Complaint Department list:

1. Had to get up really early this morning to punch down my bread
2. Had to wait a whole hour after taking the bread out of the oven to eat some.
3. Shunted my own writing aside to complete a writing commitment I made to someone else…………..

Is that it? I’ll not mention the cause of everyone’s social isolation because I would have been home anyway working on 1, 2, and 3. I’m certain there are more but right now I don’t remember them.

Gratitude Department list:

1. Woke up early this morning.
2. Ate delicious fresh bread slathered with butter. Lovely crunchy crust.
3. Talked with one of my sons on the phone today.
4. Text from one of my sisters ~ planning a chat next week.
5. New pictures of my great granddaughter came via messaging
6. Finished and sent off my project about armies of dragons and humans battling to save the world
7. Ate well because I had prepared for full days like this…….

I could go on but I’d just have to keep writing and never get this posted!

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, 

it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

~ A.A.Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh