Just One Bag

Leaves
beautiful red and gold leaves
wet beautiful red and gold leaves
rained down as heavily as the cold, wet rain
a brilliant carpet for sidewalk, steps and patio
extra leaves swept by yesterday’s wild wind into corners and crevices.

One bag - they all fit into one bag!

Whining about cleaning up all those leaves!
One bag - and they were leaves!
Not the heavy, wet snow covering the residents of Buffalo today
Perspective leant vitality to my efforts with broom and rake
Leaving sidewalk, steps and patio clean and tidy.

“Sometimes we must unfocus our way to clarity.”

~ Terri Guillemets

Phase-ology 101

New phases, like the phases of the moon, need breathing space
Not too long….but just long enough
Centering, regrouping but more importantly
….remembering.
Remembering each difficult, or not so difficult, task was accomplished with all the same skills,
learned over a life that keeps rolling along,
shifting with changing spaces of time and talent,
carrying the vitality of belief and experience into each new phase.

With belief and creativity in mind and heart ~ 
Deep breath, 
Spread out,
Pull back in
And lean into the work once more.

“There’ll come a writing phase where you have to defend the time,

unplug the phone and put in the hours to get it done.”

~ James Taylor

Re-Post of: Riding Through Life

Aging ~ a topic often met with fear, laughter or derision.
So many jokes about so much of it, as if it were inevitable.

And then there’s the saying ‘aging gracefully’ ~
now what does that mean?
There’s a tendency to be resentful, with a bit less stamina, not graceful.
A disliked phrase? ~ ‘it’s just part of aging,’
Often said with a gentle, almost patronizing tone,
a pat on the head wouldn’t be surprising.

Quite frankly I don’t have time for any of it.
I do know that I have learned to do things differently ~ 
at different paces,
what’s absolutely necessary and what is not
words jumble, tumble and dart away from the tip of my tongue

In high school the big question was, and still is:  What do you want to be when you grow up?
When you’re 65, and still working: When are you going to retire?

What happened to the growing up part, all that space in between?
Not ready to park my bike any time soon, I’ll just keep on riding.

“Age to me means nothing.I can’t get old;I’m working. 

I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. 

As long as you’re working, you stay young. 

When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality 

sweeps over me and I forget my age.”

~ George Burns (1886-1996)

Into the 'Grey Wave'

My life has taken another turn. I don’t think a very big one, no major curves, just in thought. Once the busyness of summer at Detox ended, my hours at work have decreased, often just to my part-time scheduled line. Right now? Ten days off with one relief shift in the middle. In my long stretches of days off, I have scheduled appointments with the dentist, the doctor, massage therapist and recently added, an acupuncturist. And did I mention the dental hygienist. Then there is book club, writing group, walking group and aquafit. It is a busy and very satisfying life. At home? Writing on a project that goes well and then goes poorly depending on whether my ‘inner editor’ has anything to contribute - I try not to pay attention to her, except to say ‘thank you for that bit of insight’.

I had given myself a break from listening to CBC news and talk shows, and recently turned the radio on again. In the break, I started listening to a variety of things on the internet, attended a couple of Toastmaster’s meetings and one mayoralty debate. What I have gleaned from all of this, is that I have not paid attention to community politics while they have swirled around me. Victoria, as the other cities I have lived in, is a very vital city. My ideas of life have, as many of you may know, been as though wearing blinders. It is important, this concern of mine about addictions care and the housing issues that plague this population, especially now that the ‘grey wave’ is advancing. But the housing issues also relate to the infastructures that are necessary to create functioning and safe housing. I am part of this ‘grey wave’  - the over sixty five - and am curious about what and who makes up the community I live in. Do I just continue with appointments and groups and homemaking? Or step out into the community to learn and participate in my future?  

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. 

Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

~ Albert Einstein

Amidst Clutter

I’ve been going through drawers today - actually I’ve been clearing clutter for the past couple of days. Moving furniture around. Bruising myself - just my finger but a ‘battle scar’ none the less.

In small spaces, one needs to use all the space that one can find. Initially I filled drawers and corners and...well drawers and corners...until there were no drawers or corners left to fill. This clutter clearing has put a new face on down sizing - at least in my mind. In the corners and crevices, I have found scrunched up plastic bags, plastic bags containing screws and bolts for some unknown thing I put together a long time ago, three bags (plastic) of coin wraps, another bag (yes, plastic) of match books - and of course electric cords for unknown electronic devices. In other words, the clutter that I’m clearing is of little to no use, although the matches would come in handy if there was ever a black out.

I suppose one point of this essay, is that clutter breeds - or we breed clutter. I do recall being amused, as a teenager and young adult, of all the plastic containers saved religiously in kitchens of friends and family - until entrepreneurs designed, produced and sold fancier containers. Now, we - I suppose I should just say me - save plastic bags!

More interesting was the drawer that I cleaned out in my newly reorganized second bedroom. This excursion into clutter has been like going through a box of old photographs, a slowly fading fascination in this digital age. What I found was a folder with tiny paintings, tiny pieces of personal vitality, that I had painted while trying to find my feet in the world outside of work schedules and nursing. They are definitely not high art, but they are a lovely part of my then budding creativity. There they were tucked in one of the drawers, lying quietly waiting to be rediscovered.

“You can either be a victim of the world or an adventurer 

in search of treasure. It all depends on how you view your life.”

~ Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

Understood

Body language
A language without sound.
Gesture, stance, and facial expression

Vitality

‘the power giving continuance of life……….’

Expressed in gesture, stance and facial expression.

A white striped crosswalk,

A gesture of dismay to a driver who didn’t stop

No gesture of thanks to a driver who did stop.

“It’s a rather rude gesture, but at least it’s clear what you mean.”

~ Katharine Hepburn

A Question of Spirit

What do eyes see when eyes can’t see into the past?
What does a heart feel when eyes can only see the present?
What picture does a mind build without seeing into the future?

Hearts only allowed to feel present deeds?
Eyes only allowed to see what’s in front of them?
Minds allowed only to limit the future?

Spirit knows.
Strength of spirit pulls survival forward
The spirit to live and love stays strong when humanity fails.

A wounded child grows to manhood and returns to his wounding,
with pains of past and present, and fears of the future.
Just an ordinary human being whose vitality of spirit still burns.

“Our spirit is mightier than the filth of our memories.”

~ Melina Marchetta, Quintana of Charyn