Things that Matter

A good book full of 

    mystery and enchantment.

Grandchildren and all children

Scrambled eggs - or eggs ..

Colouring: 

    inside or outside the lines

Taking a challenge just because 

Coffee: strong and hot made

    from beans from the tropics

Seasons that rotate through 

    green leaves and flowers to gold to drifts of snow

Trees for beauty, shade and breath.

My big black kitty 

    that loves me just because

Strength of mind, body and spirit

A blank page, and a pen

A cosy sweater in winter 

    just for home.

The aroma and taste of fresh bread

The moon, the sun and the stars in the sky

Parents to honour and to love, 

    warts and all.

A cup of delicious hot chocolate 

    topped with marshmallows.

“The things that matter don’t necessarily make sense.”

~ Russell Hoban, writer

(1925 ~ 2011)

Christmas Special

Everyone had been told the cookies were Christmas presents. Annabelle really hated it when her brother didn’t pay attention to her. He was a really good brother at school, but at home it was like he couldn’t stand her. Twins, they would be 10 years old on Christmas Day. When they were really little, they always had fun together. Annabelle didn’t remember it, but they had shared a crib when they were babies. Then they shared a room with separate beds, but the year before they had to start school, Rusty got his own room. Ever since then, he’d been bossy. A sign on his door said: Girls Keep Out (except mom). Annabelle couldn’t tell anyone, but she missed her good brother at home. At school, she wished he wasn’t so protective of her. She sighed. “I guess he just has to do more growing up.” 

“Hey, Annabelle. Are we still decorating the Christmas tree tonight? I came home early so we could get the decorations out.” 

“Rusty?! You’re home! I didn’t think you’d want to do the decorating.”Annabelle had been certain it would just be her mom and herself. She was so happy. The twins went down to the basement to get all the decorations. Their mom or their dad would help them get out all the Christmas things when they were little. When they were big enough, they were allowed to get the big box by themselves. Now, their parents did more supervising than doing any of the work ~ just what the twins wanted. They both loved Christmas carols, Christmas dinner, opening presents but decorating the tree was an extra special start to the season. 

“Christmas works like glue, it keeps us all sticking together.”

~ Rosie Thomas,  Iris & Ruby

Now and Then

2014 - Calgary Olympic Rink

Now: I watched through plexiglass as a gaggle of four year olds attempted to skate. Wobbly or flat on the ice. Held up by their parent or sliding on little bums; skating like some were born to it - baby steps. No one was crying though. I loved watching them all - especially my own little skater - a very special great grand-daughter. 

Then: I really miss skating! The slicing sound of blades cutting the ice, the laughter and music of the skating rink, the ice-cold wind in my hair as I skated really fast (sometimes with out falling), and twirling and trying to skate like the bigger girls…. 

“Sometimes my skating allows me to do things I never dreamed possible.”

~ Kurt Browning

Chapter Two, Episode 120 - Winter’s Thaw - Situationally Theirs

Winter’s Thaw

Brigitte’s mother was nervous. Helen Smithson had changed her clothes four or five times trying to find just the right ‘ensemble’. “I haven’t been out for so long, I don’t know what to wear to such a fancy function!” Watching her mother twisting and turning in front of the full length mirror in a deep blue, ‘swishy’ dress, Brigitte smiled.”Mom, it’s not fancy at all. Just friends having supper in the kitchen. Cook said it’s pot roast and salad. I know she’ll have more than that because she always does. Definitely not black tie and tails.” Brigitte felt a hand on her shoulder. “How do I look, daughter?” Her father, Herbert, stood straight and adjusted his red silk tie. “You both look wonderful! You’re wearing that chocolate brown sweater I sent you for Christmas and it fits you so well.” She looked at her watch. “We’d better get going. Mom, stop fussing. You look perfect.”

~~~~~

Happy that the icy tension between her parents had thawed, even if only a bit, Brigitte relaxed in the back seat. But they still weren’t talking. When her mother saw her husband all dressed up, there was a short sharp intake of breath. As they were walking out the door she said. “Herb, you look very handsome.” Then hurried to get in the car. On the way, and without taking his eyes off the road, her father said “We should do this more often, Helen.” Silence. “Where would we go?” Silence. “Maybe you could wear that dress and we could go dancing like we used to.” Silence. “I’m not sick you know. I’ve just been feeling empty.” Silence. They pulled up to the Estate house, just as Digby and Martha arrived from their cottage. They waited on the steps for their guests. Almost whispering, Martha said “My, aren’t they a handsome couple. I can see where Brigitte get’s her good looks from. Now, James we must make them feel welcome. Doesn’t look to be anything troubling Mr. Smithson.” 

“Martha. Digby. These are my parents ~ Herbert and Helen.” She practically pushed them forward. “Please call me James.” He extended his hand to Herbert, and then to Helen. “James and I are so pleased you could come out tonight. We haven’t had guests here for a very long time. Brigitte, your parents just fit the bill perfectly. Come with me into the kitchen and meet Elizabeth. That’s the woman that Brigitte calls Cook. Well, that’s what many people call her, but we’ve been friends for many years, so I’ve always known her as Elizabeth. My goodness, I’m chattering on. Not letting you get a word in edgewise! James always tells me I talk too much. Tell me, are you glad Brigitte’s back home with you?” Before Helen could say anything, Helen was being introduced to Elizabeth, who, still behind her apron, was just getting supper on the table. She set the pot roast and vegetables on the table and wiped her hands on her apron. “It’s good to meet you. Helen, is it? Brigitte calls me Cook, but please call me Elizabeth. Your Brigitte has been sorely missed out here. Miss Em is well now so doesn’t have a need for being taken care of, but may need her for another job.” She turned to Martha. “Did you see Samuel when you came in? Hope he’s not late. We’ll eat without him so the food doesn’t get cold. There’s the timer ~ rolls are done, so we’ll have them fresh and hot with our meal. Brigitte, call your father and James.” Helen was warmed by the welcome from the two women, but just little overwhelmed by their attention. Supper smelled wonderful. She hadn’t eaten well in the last many weeks and her hunger suddenly overtook her. “Mom, you look faint!  Are you all right?” 

“Yes dear, I think I just need a glass of water.” Brigitte sat her mother down, Martha brought her a glass of water. “Helen dear, you don’t look very well ~ so pale.” Helen took a big drink of water and smiled up at her. “I’m just hungry, that’s all. I’ve not been eating well. It’s good to have someone else do the cooking. Don’t worry, I’m just fine now.” She was feeling quite embarrassed, getting so dizzy on this first meeting. “You’ve all been so good to me, thank you, thank you.” She stood up, a bit wobbly. “Now, what can I do to help?” She steadied herself on the table, just as the men came in. James, Herbert and Samuel. Elizabeth, taking off her apron, shooed them all to the table. “Samuel, here’s the carving knife. You do a better job than I do.” Without a word, he took it and set to work. “Best sit down everyone and hand me your plates.” With much shuffling of chairs, they all did as they were told and one by one was served up generous portions of meat. “Are you all right, Helen?” Herbert had noticed his wife’s pale countenance when he came in, and made certain to sit beside her. He pressed her hand resting on the table. “I’m fine Herbert, just need to eat my supper is all. Thank you.” Very grateful that he was beside her, she said quietly so no one else would hear. “Yes, we do need to go dancing.” After that, the only sounds were the scraping of plates, or ‘Pass the potatoes’ and sighs of satisfaction.

Declining dessert, at least right away, they cleared the table and got out playing cards. Brigitte excused herself from the games and said she needed to get some things from upstairs. “Not much, just some things I left when I went away. Miss Em said I could store them upstairs.” Just an excuse, she wanted to just let her parents get to know their hosts. They didn’t need a daughter there. At the head of the stairs, laughter floated up the stairs, her parents having fun with new friends. Brigitte took a book from the nearest bookshelf and sat down to read.

“The next best thing to being wise oneself 

is to live in a circle of those who are.”

~ C.S.Lewis

Movie Review: Ticket to Paradise directed by Ol Parker

Ticket to Paradise, a romantic comedy, was just plain fun! George Clooney (David Cotton) and Julia Roberts (Georgia), a long divorced couple and parents of Lily Cotton were forced into an untenable situation. Untenable because they did not like each other. Two childish adults, they constantly sniped at each other. Together they had to behave themselves at their daughter’s graduation from law school. Their daughter Lily (played by Kaitlyn Dever) was prepared for them to destroy her special day, but seated them together anyway in the auditorium. She was backed up by Wren (played by Billie Lourd) who really was just glad to be finished with law school so she could have some fun. 

But that wasn’t all. Lily and Wren were off to Bali for a well deserved vacation. Her parents thought they were done with each other and went back to their busy business lives. At last!!!

Then the email came. Lily had fallen in love with a handsome and charming islander (Gede played by Lucas Bravo), he with her and everyone’s life changed. Marriage!! Clooney and Roberts were thrown together again. On the airplane to Bali and again at the upcoming nuptials. Did I mention Gede had a very large family on this idyllic island? His father, a seaweed farmer, was from generations of seaweed farmers. 

A traditional Bali wedding, ‘lost' wedding rings, language barriers, Georgia’s handsome airline pilot boyfriend (many years younger than her), a snake bite on a cursed island and swimming with dolphins….. Everyone did live happily ever after but not until all that and more was sorted out. 

“It turns out, a parent will do everything for their kid 

except let them be exactly who they are,”

~ Georgia (Julia Roberts),  Ticket to Paradise

Directed by: Ol Parker

Writing Credits: Ol Parker (written by) & 

                           Daniel Pipski (written by

Partial Cast:

George Clooney - David Cotton

Julia Roberts - Georgia Cotton

Lucas Bravo - Paul

Kaitlyn Dever - Lily Cotton

Billie Lourd - Wren Butler

Maxime Bouttier - Gede

Life and Limb ~ HEAT ~ Theme for July 2021

Here we are…….

Every child…..

A moment in time……

Taking stock……

The Covid19 pandemic is winding down, but not gone. Parts of the world are still reeling. Here in Canada, it is heating up in more ways than one. The temperature is the least of our worries, even though it is a big worry. Fires are lighting up and destroying life and limb. But a deeply serious and long lasting heat is rising from the thousands of children lost to their homes and families. The residential school programs of colonization made a vain attempt to reprogram an entire race through their children, while destroying life and limb. An exercise in genocide. Great bravery and commitment of many individuals surviving this horrendous rending of a long established and beautiful culture has been patiently, steadily waking this country up. 

I am one of the privileged whites who did not understand the depth of this devastation. When I put myself in the shoes of the Indian parents, the shoes of even one Indian child, I edge closer to knowing. Not just understanding intellectually, but knowing that devastation in my heart.

“Once parents came to be viewed as the ‘enemy’, 

their criticisms, no matter how valid, could be discounted.”

~ The Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada, 

Final Report of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada, 

Volume One: Summary: Honouring the Truth, Reconciling for the Future

A Gaggle of Goslings

Goslings followed their parents to shore ~ fluffy, yellow and sweet ~ but wandered back to the water.

Soon to be a gaggle of gangly geese ~ honking and spreading their wings.

“My turn shall also come:

I sense the spreading of a wing.”

~ Osip Mandelstam, The Selected Poem

This is the third gaggle ~ or clutch ~ of goslings I've seen in three days in Wascana Park, each shepherded by two parents. Two clutches of four chicks and one of six chicks.

The Playground Hop

 When the playground 

stills in the freezing snow

When the children

snuggle in the warmth of home

When parents long for

the release of summer days.

Snow white rabbits, long ears tipped in black,

on snow covered gravel, stay at the ready to hop.

“Hallo Rabbit,” he said” Is that you?“ 

“Let’s pretend it isn’t,” said Rabbit “and see what happens."

A.A.Milne

Chapter One, Episode 161 - Which Ends - Situationally Theirs

Review, Revision, Edit and Update

“Sometimes a writer commits himself to an ending that doesn't work. He has constructed a story that has one inevitable conclusion, but by the time he's written that story, it becomes apparent that the previously planned outcome is a mistake” - Nancy Lamb, The Art and Craft of Storytelling

My biggest struggle with writing, since I began my writing journey over 25 years ago, has been endings. I have tended to just stop and probably still do. The episodic nature of this story has challenged me to listen to my characters and write down each ending as they tell it, not what I think is a good idea. Introducing the character of Carrie Tyler and her possible connection to Emelina Beaufort, was a good idea at the time. As I progressed through her story, she told me how this part of her story should end. There are still unanswered questions - did she get home? did she and Emelina continue writing? I remember feeling that this part of Emelina's story was about to overtake all the earlier episodes. Was it important to introduce this character at all?

As far as today's revision goes, there were few little fixes to be done, and I did add a line to Carrie's letter when she reminded me that her father had notified the RCMP that she was missing. (I'm sure she didn't mention that in my previous post).

Which Ends

There is no ending to this or any other story. As with all of life and the stories within it, they all roll on to a natural end. The end that we all meet. But before that final end, each of us goes our separate ways on to new adventures or a return to finish old business. Sometimes we never really know when a story ends or continues elsewhere.

~~~~~

The mail had slowed a bit but was still regular, especially with bills. Today, when the mail slot at the kitchen door clunked open and closed, it was really no different except for what else it contained. Emelina had picked the mail up on her way into the house. On one piece of mail, she recognized Carrie’s writing. Finally a letter. She’s much stronger now. Emmie had continued writing, but had not received any replies. This letter wasn’t the usual slim envelope. It was longer and a bit thicker. “Dez.” Emelina paused. “This is unusual.” She was with her sister, who had come to the Estate for the week. Having time off from work, Dez had packed a small suitcase and come out to her orchard, now devoid of all but a few apples. “Let me see that, Em.” Emelina had taken the mail up to the living room to open the thicker letter. The others, the gas bill, the water bill, she delivered to Digby on her way past his office. In hushed tones, she said “Dez, it’s the adoption papers.” Her sister picked up a page of paper from where it had drifted down beside the sofa. Gently she said “Here Em. I think this slipped out………..” She glanced at it while handing it to her sister. “Em, it’s a copy of the photo and your name: ‘Emelina Eliot’.” Slowly, Emelina stood and reached for the copied photo and, along with the adoption papers, took them to the dining room table. Setting them down carefully, she looked out past the window to the land outside. Her hands felt for the papers. Finding them, she dropped her gaze and spread them out, much as Carrie’s father had when he and his wife were telling Carrie of her birth. “The adoption papers are copies too, Dez. See, it’s stamped up in the corner.” Emelina picked up the letter, written in Carrie’s careful much stronger hand. Pacing, she started reading.

Hello Emelina, 

It was lovely to meet you even if we were behind our masks and not able to touch. I was surprised at how little I felt that day except for how very tired I was. Beginning to feel like I was incredibly alone in this world, your visit was like a great breath of fresh air.

I have more reason to write this letter than usual. I did call my parents that day while the social worker was here. My father was frantic. They had been trying to contact me, but with my cell phone confiscated, all they got was voicemail. Dad had just been talking to the RCMP to search for me. With my mom in the hospital and me missing, he was frightened. Mom isn't sick with the virus, but apparently had a mild stroke. She will have to be in rehab for a time. I am going home to Ontario within the next few days. My dad needs me. I may not be much help as I am still recovering, but at least I’ll be there with them. 

I may be  gone when you get this letter. I wanted you to at least have copies of these so you can let me know if this picture is of you and the signatures are of your parents. I’m sorry to have not let you know sooner, but I’ve been extremely upset. I’ve enclosed my address and telephone number …….. 

Emmie couldn’t finish reading the letter. “Here Dez. I can’t finish it. How could it end like this??” Emmie was furious. Furious at Jeremy for getting her mixed up in this. Furious at Carrie for just leaving. Furious at herself for buying into the whole thing.

Dez continued reading aloud ….. “I’ve enclosed my address and telephone number. I suspect you must be angry with this situation. I think I understand. Be well, Emelina. Please call me.

Your good friend,

Carrie Tyler (Carter)

p.s. we still have much to discuss.

“You need to make time for your family no matter what happens in your life.”

~ Matthew Quick, The Silver Linings Playbook

Chapter One, Episode 158 - Revelation - Situationally Theirs

Review, Revision, Edit and Update

“How your characters act and react - how they think and feel; how they handle obstacles and respond to people, places and things - is story. - Nancy Lamb, The Art and Craft of Storytelling”

In this episode, I introduced more fully the unexpected character of Carrie Tyler. What I had failed to do was clearly identify who, in the series, she was related to. I suppose I was assuming that everyone read everything and remembered that she is Emelina Beaufort's daughter. Another issue about character development by the same author discusses the authenticity of a character and building empathy. I did not want this to feel like poor Carrie was dropped from the sky but had a purpose for her presence in the story. My revisions today, besides some minor sentence structure issues, have connected Carrie's story to the larger story of Situationally Theirs.

Revelation

People at the hospital kept calling her Mrs.Tyler, her legal name, but she hadn’t been that for quite some time, losing any contact with her husband after their second child was born. On his way out the door, he said he would be back soon, but only called her a couple of times. When she hadn’t heard from him for a month, she contacted his brother. He was talking with him regularly and didn’t want any further contact from her. Carrie had been half expecting to hear that, but from her husband, not his brother and definitely not over the phone. She had yet to change her name. Legally, it was such ball of knotted yarn she had only ever started it. Raising two kids on her own meant working two, sometimes three jobs, just to pay her bills, and put away a small nest-egg by giving up things for herself. If her mother and father had not been so amazing, the outcome would have been very different.

~~~~~

Carrie was disappointed in herself. Her thin, weakened body betraying her, she could do nothing by lie limp and drained between cold hospital sheets. Inside, she was restless and wanted to leave the hospital, her bed and her room, desperately longing to continue her search for her birth mother. She had come so far. All the way across the country, working at whatever job available, only to get to Alberta and the shut down that came with the spread of the Covid19 virus. Jobs were not only scarce, they were practically non-existent. Applying for financial aid from the government, she had to stay in one place, barely scraping by until she was enrolled. Fortunately she had the security of an unchanging email address and a good telephone plan. Unfortunately, she had to dip into her meagre savings so those few bills would be paid at least for a time. Cheap hotels, motels and on some nights a doorway, a copse of trees or under a bridge were her lot. When options for shelter were becoming increasingly limited, she dug deeper into hard won savings for the most inexpensive but sturdy camping gear in whatever store was still open. After losing her last job, when its doors closed, and reviewing her situation, she knew she was in much deeper trouble. There was nothing good about it except that she had, not just a goal, but a location where she might find her birth mother. She had carried this most important clue everywhere.

~~~~~

It was after the children had gone to bed. Carrie and her parents settled themselves in the living room. After a few minutes of silence, Carrie’s mother began fidgeting “Anyone want coffee or tea, hot chocolate? I’m going to put the kettle on. A little plate of cookies would be nice, don’t you think?” Mrs. Carter nodded to her husband “Ed, why don’t you get those papers that we want to show Carrie.” Carrie stood and followed her mother. “Mom, I’ll come and help you. Dad, hot chocolate is your favourite at this time of night, isn’t it?……with whipped cream?” On her way by her dad, she kissed him on top of his head. Ed Carter felt his eyes tear up. “What would I do without you, you sweet girl.” Forcing a serious and stern demeanour, he went to his den for the Adoption papers. This weekend would tell him if he would lose his 30 year old little girl or not.

“We decided we couldn’t put it off any longer.” Carrie’s mother barely kept eye contact with her as she started to talk. “Put off what, mom? And what are those papers you’ve got hidden in that folder, dad?” Always able to talk to her parents about anything from the time she was a little girl, this was an unusually tense situation. They were so nervous. “Who wants to go first? Please, I really don’t like this.” Carrie laughed nervously. “Is one of you dying or something? Are you criminals finally found by the police? Are you not really my parents……..?” Her eyes stinging with tears, Carrie didn’t know whether to sit frozen or to run. “Oh, Carrie, we’ve always wanted to tell you but there was never the right time.” Mrs. Carter put her teacup down, splashing tea on her dress. “Carrie, you have always been my little girl and always will be.” Ed smoothed the adoption papers out on the coffee table. Mrs. Carter reached for the folder and took something out of it. She leaned into her husband and whispered. “Can I give this to her, Ed?” Her husband nodded and patted her hand. “Now, mother, let’s just slow down. We need to listen to what Carrie has to say first.” The silence thickened and spread. “I don’t have much to say. You are my parents…adopted or birth parents….it doesn’t matter. I love you both and you are my mom and dad.” Even so, there were a lot of tears and some anger after years of that secret slipping between them like a dangerous silken scarf. Once the secret was revealed, they all understood much more about each other. Her parents knew that they had done the right thing for their girl. Carrie’s need to know her birthmother was born that evening, made real in an old black and white photograph, a name printed on the back: Emelina Eliot. 

“There is an ancient tribal proverb I once heard in India. It says that 

before we can see properly we must first shed our tears to clear the way.”

~ Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing