Salad

Sweet cherry tomatoes
crinkly romaine lettuce
orange crisp carrot

Topped with black olives
and a side of boiled eggs

Our world is a salad
we try to erase ~ but
don’t take my salad away.

Such an odd counterpoint
from kitchen to society.

“The nature of the contrapuntal experience is that every note

has to have a past and a future on the horizontal plane.”

~ Glenn Gould, concert pianist

An Ugly Moment

 An Ugly Moment

“Communication is tempered by social mores…”  Carol rolled her eyes and slumped in her chair.  She really didn’t want to be here. Waiting at a fine dining restaurant til late, she’d over heard a lot of ‘communication’. Tempered by what people ate and drank, who they were with, how many were at a table. But what she had overheard in the morning before coming to class had really made her wonder about social mores. And it had offended her. She had had her windows open to the cool morning air. It was overcast, but no wind or rain. Traffic was quiet. A dog barked. She could hear the couple down below her talking quietly. Suddenly threatening, rasping, angry words invaded the air. Epithets and racial slurs strode down the street. Shouting and straining for a fight. “GO HOME!!” There was no response, no running of feet. Just silence.

Carol just kept getting ready for class. There was nothing in the moment that she could do about that incident. There was no communication and absolutely no respect. Social mores - merely a philosophical idea. She straightened in her seat, opened her laptop and prepared to hear more from her professor. Carol decided to go to her professor after class to discuss that unsettling episode.

“Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, 

threatens the future, and renders the present inaccessible.”

~ Maya Angelou

**This story inspired by an actual event.

Activism

Over the top belief ~

Is there really such a thing?

Definitely!

A wrong to be righted

Activism born ~

Speaking out and living loud

Social norms

Reshaped to fit the need

Over the top belief ~

Is there really such a thing?

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, 

Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

~ Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

Book Review: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

You could be forgiven if you saw the title, a beauty in an emerald green dress, and turned away from this compelling story. Protagonist Evelyn Hugo certainly would not blame you. She was born in 1938 in Hell’s Kitchen New York, the daughter of Cuban immigrants. Losing her mother at a young age, she was an only child raised by her father. It was an unhappy time for her. As she grew into her beauty, she also blossomed ~ and blossomed. Becoming aware of the power of her beauty and her sexuality she determined to get of Hell’s Kitchen, thus her first husband, Ernie Diaz. At age 14 (she told Ernie she was 16) and married, he was her ticket to Hollywood. However he didn’t fit with her driving ambitions. Evelyn Elena Herrera created Evelyn Hugo, changing her hair colour from dark brown to blonde. Her skin was light bronze, enough to carry the blonde hair.

At age 79, she contacted a popular magazine Vivant and, in her signature powerful style, she insisted on a specific writer to write her life story. Monique Grant, a ‘newbie’ employee with Vivant, was that writer. No one, especially Monique, could figure out why when there were so many far more qualified. However, it was Monique or no one. Throughout the story the question hangs temptingly ‘why?’ Tempting because more than once I wanted to turn to the ending and learn the answer, but I wanted to know the story behind the answer more.

The other six husbands? Don Adler, as handsome and driven as Evelyn. Mick Riva, a famous singer who only wanted to bed her fame. Rex North - in a sexless marriage, he was as ruthlessly ambitious as Evelyn. Max Girard, a well known movie producer, also charming but wanted only eye candy. Harry Cameron, Evelyn’s best and longest friend, father of her only daughter, as well as her producer of her first movie. Robert Jamison, brother of Celia St. James who was the love of Evelyn’s life.

In the world of glamour and stardom, when Evelyn Hugo and Celia St. James were at the peak of their careers, same sex relationships were absolutely shunned. The incredible machinations they needed to protect their careers was stunning and sad. 

In the end Evelyn’s life had nothing to do with “Why Monique?”, but everything to do with the final answer.

“When you dig just the tiniest bit beneath the surface, everyone’s love life is 

original and interesting and nuanced and defies any easy definition.”

~ Taylor Jenkins Reid, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Title: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Author: Taylor Jenkins Reid

Copyright: 2017

Publisher: Washington Square Press - an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Type: A Novel

Format: Soft Cover

ISBN 978-1-5011-3923-9

ISBN 978-1-5011-6193-3 (pbk)

ISBN 978-1-5011-3924-6 (ebook)

Newness ~ 2

Feeling life and strength

coursing through

my muscles, when

society stereotypes 'age' 

as weak and weakening, 

is feeling possibility 

~ a mid February joy.

“Aging is not ’lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

~ Betty Friedan

Book Review: The Storyteller’s Secret by Sejal Badani

Beautiful. Tragic. Humbling. Jaya, a journalist in New York City at the time of sonograms and invitro fertilization, is devastated and lost. She blames herself for the loss of all three pregnancies and, because of her frozen grief, loses her marriage. 

Amisha, a joyful young woman at the time of the British Invasion of India, is bound tightly by the cultural norms and mores of her India. Her stories whirl and dance in her head and, ever since she learned to write as a child, she began putting them to paper. Amisha was Jaya’s grandmother, a grandmother that she never knew but learned from.

I could say that this is a story about women and for women. However, very prominently in the background, men play a strong part in the lives of women, for better or for worse. This was especially true in Amisha’s time and country. Author Sejal Badani’s storytelling had me enthralled. Jaya, the protagonist, has a very difficult relationship with her mother. Her mother and father had immigrated to America before Jaya was born. Her mother was told by her father to never return to India. Therein lies one of the secrets. 

Amisha’s story, full of family secrets and oppression, is told to Jaya by Ravi. Amisha defies many of the cultural mores, dancing at her wedding, writing her stories, bringing Ravi, of the caste untouchables, into her marriage home. Ravi, tells Jaya her grandmother’s story and the early days of her mother’s story. It is some of these issues that earned the disbelief of some of more uncharitable reviewers I read on the Goodreads site. 

Throughout it all, the sights and sounds of India, the ceremonies and holidays of India, were described in beautiful, colourful detail. The poverty and squalor of India was described in heartbreaking detail. Sejal Badani has written scenes of insane cruelty and of deep abiding love and friendship. 

“With humility may I reap my own power, and at the end of the journey 

I hope to stand small so others can feel tall.”

~ Sejal Badani, The Storytelle’s Secret

Title: The Storyteller’s Secret

Author: Sejal Badani

Copyright 2018

Publisher: Lake Union Publishing, Seattle

Type: Fiction

Format: Novel

ISBN: 13: 9781503949089 (hardcover)

ISBN: 10: 1503949087 (hardcover)

ISBN: 13: 9781542048279 (paperback)

ISBN: 10: 1542048273 (paperback)

Chapter One, Episode 155 - Stretched - Situationally Theirs

Review, Revision, Edit and Update

Two areas of writing, character development and the relationship between the characters, are part of the puzzle of writing stories. My experience with this has been in the many episodes of Situationally Theirs. In my library of writing books and searching the web, there are many tips for character development. Dialogue, important according to the information found, also aids me in visualizing the character and the setting. The next is showing relationships. There are three characters in the first part of this episode - Cook, her employer Emelina, and Emelina's friend, Dr. Crawford. The experience they share is casual, friendly and respectful. When there is only one character, Randal Matthews, Social Worker, in the second part, the relationship is with the setting. Still lots more to learn for this writer. (There were typographical errors to be corrected, and then only a few.) A pleasant read.

Stretched

She always enjoyed her walk to the Estate in the early morning, even if it was raining. Today, she could just enjoy a clear morning, stars winking out, and a sickle moon riding low in the sky. Rounding the corner to the back of the house, she saw it. Speaking to the squirrels that were already up and grubbing for something to eat, she told them “That’s a pretty fancy looking little car! I wonder what Dr. Crawford's doing here at this hour.” Mary Elizabeth Saunders, better known as Cook, chuckled and, talking to a noisy crow sitting on the eaves, she asked “Do you suppose he and Miss Emelina aren’t up yet?” As Cook stepped up on the porch, the crow rasped at her and flapped away. Talking to herself she went on “I don’t see any lights on, so I guess I’d better be as quiet as I can and get the coffee on.” 

~~~~~

Emmie heard the quiet downstairs being disturbed. She opened her eyes just enough to see the time: 0730. That must be Cook. Should I let him sleep a little more. As quietly as possible, Emmie slipped out of bed, covering her cold skin with her housecoat. “Emmie. Where are you going? It’s not time to get up yet.” Emmie slid back under the covers, housecoat still on. “Cook’s here, Jeremy. We should start…..”    “Start what, Em. I’m still too sleepy, but you could try to wake me up.” ….. “Jeremy Crawford, behave yourself. I’m going to shower. If you want to come with me you can, if you want to stay in bed being lazy that’s your choice.”  Emelina got out of bed despite his groaning pleas, and walked across the hall for her shower. 

~~~~~

At the stove, getting a good breakfast started for the two lovebirds, Cook had her back to the stairway. She heard them come down the stairs, whispering like a pair of conspirators making a plan. Cook smirked and stifled a chuckle. A little too brightly and in unison, Emmie and Jeremy called out “Good morning, Cook!” Emelina whispered “I thought I was supposed to say good morning.” Jeremy whispered back “No, I was the one. Shh. Cook’s turning around.”

“Well, good morning you two. Did you sleep well?’ Without waiting for an answer, Cook gestured towards the coffee machine. “Coffee’s ready and as soon as I set the table, I’ll serve up your breakfast.” As she reached up in the cupboard for two plates, her smile never leaving her face, she added “You’re both looking so very rested.”  Jeremy decided to break the rapidly thawing ice “Cook, you darling girl, you know perfectly well why we look so very rested.” Cook feigned innocence. “Do I now? I’m just the cook here and only just now saw the two of you. There are three bedrooms up there and a nice comfortable sofa in the living room. I certainly don’t get any messages from our little ghost girl Sarah.”

Emelina listened to the exchange with amusement. “Jeremy, leave Cook alone. If you’re not careful, you’ll not get any breakfast and Cook will usher you out of the house before you know it. I’m going to have my breakfast. Cook, get your coffee and toast and sit down with us.”

~~~~~

Several days before at the hospital:

There is a Social Work department in every city hospital, and not always staffed very well, considering that only small compliment of Social Workers took care of the entire hospital. All the societal living problems that patients brought with them landed on their desks. Mrs. Carrie Tyler was one of them that Randall Matthews had dealt with since the day after the patient’s admission. Randall, relatively new to the hospital and newly graduated with a B.S.W., liked order. As educated as he was, he was not prepared for the puzzle of Mrs. Tyler’s life that would consume his morning.

Except for her date of birth, her name, and her most recent address, she had little paper work with her. Initially the physician and nurses hadn’t expected her to live, however her condition had slowly improved. One of the physicians - Randall had to look at his notes - ‘Dr. Jeremy Crawford’ - had left him a message to see her about ‘her situation.’ What an odd message. ‘her situation?’  Randall Matthews called the nurses station. He didn’t get much more information as the unit clerk didn’t have the it or couldn’t give it out. The nurses were all too occupied with their patients to take his call. So this is what being a Social Worker is all about. Phone calls and literal leg work to track down information. 

Randall looked at his watch - it was 8 a.m.. Talking to an empty office, aloud he outlined his morning “I have a meeting with all the clinical staff at 11. I should have time to see all the patients on the Covid19 floor and review their charts.” Randall was mistaken. He spent most of the next three hours, reading Mrs. Tyler’s chart (not much there except medical info), reviewing the adoption papers which were copies of the originals from about 30 years ago, and he almost missed an early entry in the nurses’ notes - something about a photograph with a name on the back. He approached the only nurse in the nurses station and asked if she knew what that meant. “Oh, that’s my note. I was working last night when she came in. She got so agitated about that photograph we finally pinned it to her pillow where she could reach up and touch it. It wasn’t the most sanitary thing…. but then you don’t need to know all that. She’s resting quietly right now, but if she’s awake she may want to meet you. The other thing she said to me was that she didn’t have anybody. Dr. Crawford called somebody and a couple of women came up for a while. He talked to them and then they left. I don’t know who they were. He said something about they may be family?”  Miss Green looked up…..”Excuse me, Randall, I’m getting off soon. My replacement is here and I need to give her report.”

For Randall, that was just the beginning. He came to see Mrs.Tyler everyday and was able to speak with Dr. Crawford once. He didn’t get much more information except that the person he had called on the night of her admission was a possible relative. He learned on one of his visits to Mrs. Tyler that she was corresponding with this person that Dr. Crawford mentioned. She improved slowly and was no longer having to go to Intensive Care. Her attending doctor was making noises that discharge was imminent. Randall needed to get started on a discharge plan that did not involve discharging her to no one and no where. Possibly a Care Home would have a bed for her for a longer convalescence. He still needed to talk to her about the adoption papers and the photograph. After another busy day with sorting out life stories and listening to them all, Randall got back to his office when it was time to end his shift. There was a message on his desk phone. Dr. Crawford wanted to meet with him about Mrs. Tyler. I’ll call him back in the morning. I just want this day to end.

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience 

can never go back to its old dimensions.”

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Book Review - The Edible Woman by Margaret Atwood

In the 1960’s, the ‘rules’ for society’s cultural mores were very different from today. Margaret Atwood’s first published novel, The Edible Woman was written 1965. In her own cutting and yet humorous way, she delves into these rigid mores. Each character, not especially likeable to me, had their own role to play. Marian, the central figure, is caught in the middle of living by the expected and confined rules and wanting to live her life very differently. Peter, her lover and fiancé, is portrayed in the rigid male model of the time. Ainsley, Marian’s roommate, is taking life in her own way and changing the rules. Duncan, a misfit with two roommates, challenges anything remotely normal. Marian is attracted to him, does not know why, yet continues to cling to him in secret.

Consumerism, feminism, body image and vegetarianism are all part of this classic and complex story. I did not immediately recognize the humor in this story, however as the it unfolded, I laughed out loud. The entanglements, both literally and figuratively, sliced through Marian’s confusion and sadness at the most unexpected moments. Hiding under a bed with dust bunnies all around. Climbing over hedges. Activities that definitely go against any social norm. Our discussion at our book group picked and poked through all the issues and relationships and found that it indeed was a good read.

“She’s against it on principle, and life isn’t 

run on principles but by adjustments.”

~ Margaret Atwood,  The Edible Woman

Title:  The Edible Woman

Author:  Margaret Atwood

Publisher: McClelland & Stewart, Inc. (1969)

Copyright: 1969

Format:  Soft Cover

ISBN: 0-770-42822-3

Type: Fiction

Look!

Where does it come from?

Curiosity.

Slipping past society’s filters

Climbing in an open window

Nudging at a crack in a door 

Scaling a tree to see in the distance

Watching a seed burst it’s skin in spring ~

Coming unbidden from the depths of the soul with questions tucked below the surface.

A beckoning finger to pull us forward.

“I set out to discover the why of it, and 

to transform my pleasure into knowledge.”

~ Charles Baudelaire

Signage

Heeding signposts planted along the way is not especially easy when the signposts are internal. Not the ones on the streets and over highways that give us directions, or just the signage that indicates a grocery store, a shopping mall or a gas station. I reference the signposts given us by our grandparents, parents, teachers and mentors, some with gentler or louder voices than others. They have all fed our soul’s inner wisdom, our self esteem, our minds and hearts. It is up to each individual to discern which become positive self talk and which become negative self talk.

There is a particular, more insidious signpost, that can challenge the value of going deeper, not wider. I suppose it could be called self sabotage, but that sounds a little too psychological for my taste today. Two terms come to mind: cabin fever, experienced in long, cold winters, and then there is frugal fatigue. Cabin fever, in my experience, is the result of burrowing deep inside our homes during winter storms. It is full of angst, snappy tempers and just longing for even one spring day - just one! Frugal fatigue seems to be the result of burrowing deeper into what we already have. In Daniel Cain’s blog, at raptitude.com, he discusses our learned need for constant newness. Along with going deeper into what we have, there is a drop in shopping unless it is for groceries, or some article of clothing or shoes that are needed. Shopping is that most treasured of activities our society has come to know and participate in sometimes with wild abandon. There is a fairly high degree of social activity accompanying shopping. It may be a shopping spree with a good friend, but for the most part it is the interactions with other shoppers, the experience of having the hum of other people around and the pleasantries at the till that create this social activity. After all, it is called retail therapy by many participants. 

Frugal fatigue, like cabin fever, can be most disconcerting, even though everyday a quality of richness exists within our homes. So much has been neatly tucked away in a cupboard or closet. Finding a social depth within our communities provide a solution to this unexpected problem.

“…learning to live without regular doses of the little high we get when 

we start something new. If we indulge in it too often, we can 

develop a sort of ‘sweet tooth’ for the feeling of newness itself.”

~ Daniel Cain, raptitude.com 

The Best Umbrella

Chocolate cake with a delicious filling!

It is seldom that I have an opportunity to see and meet with an entire community team. Let me back  up. The Umbrella Society has outreach workers that we at Detox see usually on a daily basis. But only one at a time. They may see one of our shared clients, or two or three. And then we each go on with our work to care for those that still suffer from active substance use.

Tonight I attended the Umbrella Annual General Meeting as an interested observer. A very interested observer. So many of the folks we care for at Detox have been supported and worked with by the dedicated team from the Umbrella Society. Beginning with one man founding this society and growing into a team of 15 outreach workers, this organization meets people outside of any barriers. I believe the words are ‘meeting people where they are at.’

With each passing year, the name Umbrella has more and more meaning. Today I had the opportunity, the very rare opportunity, to see the team. The team that makes up the spokes of this ever growing Umbrella. Men and women that have faith in the human heart and the ability of their clients to achieve success within sobriety. And for that, Umbrella has my deepest and sincerest gratitude.

Go to their webpage: umbrellasociety.ca and learn what their programs are, and if you choose, how you can participate.

(And the cake was delicious!)

“I didn’t invent the rainy day. I just own the best umbrella.”

~ Jimmy Fallon

Where's the Fun?

Another dialogue exercise beginning with:  “You don’t want to live in a society like this, yet you don’t want to do anything about it!”

          Where's the Fun?

“You don’t want to live in a society like this, yet you don’t want to do anything about it!”

Andrew wanted me to get out there and be an activist. One of those guys that stood on a speaker’s corner and handed out pamphlet’s about how to change the country. We were retired. My busy world was supposed to be slowing down, and I thought Bill’s was too.

“So, Andrew, tell me what you’re doing. You don’t like this society any better. Lots of talk and you’re not doing anything about it either.”

“Look, Bill, sure I like to talk about it all and it really doesn’t look like I’m doing anything. I get called on this all the time.The stuff I do is really kind of invisible and I’ve gotta tell you, I can’t tell that it will change anything more than my little corner of this world. I’m not letting go of my opinions though.”

“That’s good to hear, but where is the fun in that? You’re not out there making a name for yourself.  Now that I think about it, I’ve started to attend community activities. Not all about politics, but just about being a more active member of the community.”

“Yeah. That’s the kind of stuff I do. There is a lot of fun in that. Being part of things that really are fun, or are just plain interesting. Things that make me feel connected and sharing opinions.”

“Are you ready to order another coffee or should we just call it a night?”

“I think we’ve solved all the world’s problems, so call it a night, it is. See you tomorrow at the Community Centre for the speakers on the new high rise going up soon? There’s going to be a couple of councillors on the panel.”

“Sounds perfect. Shall we ask the girls if they want to go out to supper first?”

“Many people are good at talking about what they are doing, 

but in fact do little. Others do a lot but don’t talk about it; 

they are the ones who make a community live.”

~ Jean Vanier, Community and Growth

Outside the Lines

Colour outside the lines

Lines drawn by society

Sketched by community

Dark lines painted carefully by culture

Colour outside the lines

with magenta, pumpkin, periwinkle blue and scarlet, shading with slate grey, fuchsia and ocher enhanced by silver, bronze and gold

Colour outside the lines

So shades and brightness

inside the lines are defined

by beautiful and daring possibilities.

“Give freedom to colours and then you shall meet the rainbow everywhere!”

~Mehmet Murat Ildan