A Beautiful Order

There is the order 

that I have decreed and 

then there is the order 

of the universe that 

I cannot see, feel or hear.

Yet I am one atom 

of the universe with 

my feet and my heart, 

my mind and my soul. 

When I close my eyes, 

I can feel the universe

that is me and I am enough, 

the purpose unknown but 

I am willing to shape this 

moment in beautiful order.

“The universal order and the personal order are nothing but different 

expressions and manifestations of a common underlying principle.

~ Marcus Aurelius,

Who I Am

It’s hard to stay in one place 

when my mind insists 

I should be doing something else or going someplace else,

urging me to believe in something more concrete than 

writing in storied poetry when selling my words is better. 

It’s hard to stay in one place 

when I listen to all my mind chatter.

The only solution is to tell myself that 

writing is as concrete as I choose for today.

Tomorrow may be different but I doubt it

so I’ll deal with it when tomorrow comes.

Today is the day, the moment I am in. 

It is easy to stay in that one place 

where I am enough and grateful 

for knowing and being just who I am.

“And even if it is just for one moment, 

I will be exactly where I am supposed to be.”

~ Sarah Kay, Paradox

Inspired by Paradox by Sarah Kay

Why Wasn't I Told?

 

Why wasn’t I told? 

I am not perfect!

I am just another human being.

Why wasn’t I told?

That perfectionists are kind of nerdy.

That being human means enough.

Why wasn’t I told?

That being perfect takes energy!

That being human allows me to dance to my own tune.

Why wasn’t I told? 

I am not perfect! I knew that!

I am just another human being. Ok, I guess I'll take that.

“On Tolkien: ‘His fussiness threatened to overwhelm his creativity.’”

~Alister E. McGrath: C.S.Lewis:

A Life: Eccentric Genius, Reluctant Prophet

Steadfast

Too fast

Too much

But never enough

Do the trees ever wonder?

The green grass just grows.

And beneath the soil

Life goes on.

Slow walk

With grace

There is always enough

“True inward quietness…is not vacancy, but stability 

- the steadfastness of a single purpose.”

~ Caroline Emelia Stephen,
(1834 ~ 1909)

When Is There Enough?

It was inconvenient 

when the power 

went out today. 

A great swath of the city 

went dark. 

No way to boil water 

for coffee - it was time!  

No TV - a program interrupted, 

no radio…….a video call planned 

with a friend for a long distance chat. 

What to do? 

no heat, 

no hot water, 

no light except 

from cloudy skies.

There was no room for me to pout 

only room for me to be grateful

that I had water, light and a big sweater,

a roof over my head and safety.

I enjoyed a good chat with my friend, 

in the quiet of my home, 

using my cell phone.

“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.”

~ Lao Tzu

Reason Enough

Where’s a switch to flip so words 

do flow, or maybe there’s a tap? 

Words usually do more than 

scribble here and scribble there.

Rather than search thesaurus or 

dictionary for inspiration,

I’ll just close today’s chapter 

and say Good Night.

“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, 

that I shall say good night till it be morrow”

~ William Shakespeare

Being Enough

Excitement could be heard from stands filled to the very edges with parents and fans and friends dressed in the colours of their countries as the youth of the world crossed the finish line, or threw a hammer the farthest, or won a basket ball game or, head down, raced trimmed down bicycles around a track to cross a finish line. The youthful strength of nations seen in sweat shining brows and muscles changed from intense focus to the excited joy of winning the race of their lives. 

The heartbroken, sometimes angry, disappointment of 

those who could not join in that excited joy, 

dampened my own excitement. Their intense focus was 

as great as those who passed them, but competition 

is like that. Once their bodies, hearts and minds 

are rested many will regroup and become the fastest, 

the best, the most talented at the craft of their 

competition while others will return to some 

other form of living and being enough.

“In every competition, there are no winners or loser, only learners.”

~ Brian Herbert, Dune: House Atreides (1999)

Until I Tried

“The first step is the hardest.” 

that first step is winning a mind game, when wanting to 

    do something, 

      achieve something, 

        acquire something 

but the mind game whispers of not enough. 

No matter how many successes, 

the same feelings of lack and not enough.

until with trepidation I tried ~

and filled the void with rhythm and joy of trying.

“Be always like the sea, than breaking up against 

cliffs it finds always the force to try again.”

~ Jim Morrison

Chapter Two, Episode 121 - Too Much and Not Enough - Situationally Theirs ~ CONFIDENCE - Theme for February 2023

Confidence was new to Dez. At least the confidence that Em said she needed. Was this how it was supposed to feel? Looking in the mirror, she cocked her head to one side. “I’m in my 40’s! This is ridiculous.”

She was okay in her own life, but when she was around Matt, it vanished. The brash bold person she had been in her life before COVID had gone up in a puff of smoke. Finding it again had been a struggle. She felt awkward around people. Grateful to her big sister for teaching her how to apply make-up and what clothes to wear, she liked the play of it all. Her spa job had added to making this new image. But when she looked in the mirror she couldn’t see herself. Someone that resembled her hid inside the glass and she felt less than. Afraid she’d mess up her hair or her mascara would run down her face, she grew stiff and cold. How could she be grateful to her big sister and her co-workers? They had only succeeded in showing her how to cover herself up in colour and paint. Like any blank canvas she worked with. No, all that paint and makeup didn’t help. She became a shy little girl waiting for Matt to notice her. “Ugh!! Matt has seen me up close with dirt on my face and under my nails.” For a fleeting moment, she felt angry at them all, until the anger settled into her insides for listening. As a child, her dad would call her mother’s make up ‘war paint’. Well she was not going to war. Hiding herself behind a face mask was not helping. She was an artist and when a painting was going wrong she either wiped it clean or painted over it and start again. “Maybe just a bit of blush……….”

~~~~~

Working with softer colours, Dez put on the finishing touches when her doorbell rang. One more brush through her hair, a quick look at herself in the full length mirror, she went to the door. Tall and lean, Matt smiled at her and said. “You’re back!”

“How many cares one loses when one decides 

not to be something but to be someone.”

~ Coco Chanel

 

Blur

 

Too many words

  wrap wisdom

in a blur of noise

“Words are like eyeglasses they blur 

everything that they do not make clear.”

~ Joseph Joubert

Re-Ordering.....

When all seems out of order

outside our homes, 

inside our heads,

seeing where our feet are

stills any fear or dread.

Are shoes in need of polish?

Or toenails painted red?

Sniffing still air around me, 

is it time for homemade bread?

Few short steps into the sun, 

see hummingbirds out of their beds ~

Look way up to treetops, ebon crows

squawk, finding mates way overhead.

Painting doomsday pictures for 

the world outside or in our heads,

keeps us stuck in overdrive

spinning tires without a tread.

So, listen to what’s deep inside 

our hearts and not our frightened heads.

Choose gratitude and fortitude,

and leave the rest unsaid.

“With all it’s sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

~ Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life