At 2 a.m.

 In a waking dream, 

sky colours of happy places

~ sunrise or sunset ~ 

peach, mauve or soft yellow, 

thin gilded clouds drifted

 ‘til eyes drooped and I slept.

“for then what wouldst thou know, flitting ‘twixt waking and sleep.”

~ Stewart Stafford, author

Chapter Two, Episode Thirty-three - Awakened - Situationally Theirs

Review, Revision, Edit and Update

Each time I review an episode, I appreciate the work of editors and copy editors. I could call it tinkering which is what I do. Their work is much more intense and of course, usually for a novel.

I saw little to alter in this episode. One fairly significant error I made was in the first paragraph. The sentence in question originally read: “Extra staff was needed - doctors, nurses, RMTs and......” My intent was to include respiratory therapists, important member of the health care team, but I used the wrong initials. My improved sentence reads: “Extra staff was needed - doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists and......” Other wise, my tinkering involved a few wording changes and spacing. Nothing elaborate.

Awakened

“Do I have to get up? Really?” Jeremy pulled his pillow over his head. “The light is too bright. Just let me sleep.” It was the first good sleep he’d had in two weeks. His rotation was only supposed to be one week, but the hospital filled up with more cases of Covid 19. Extra staff was needed - doctors, nurses, Respiratory Therapists and any auxiliary staff. Everything still needed cleaned, cleaned and cleaned again. And everyone had pulled together. They were all exhausted even with rotations to give people much needed resting time away from the chaos.

“Yes, honey you have to wake up. Here’s coffee and toast. Cook sent it up just for you. None for me! And she fixed it just the way you like it - lots of cream cheese and her strawberry jam. I do get to have coffee with you though, honey.” Jeremy had looked absolutely exhausted when she picked him up the night before. At dinner that evening, he ate everything, at the same time leaning his head on one hand. Drank two big glasses of water and one of milk. Giving a loud burp, he said - “Show me where the bed is, Em. I don’t know if I can get there myself.”

“Ok, ok, I’ll sit up - but I’m not getting out of this bed. How long did I sleep? What time is it?” Scrubbing his eyes open, he squinted out the window. “It’s kind of dark? Why is it time to get up?” Emelina laughed. “Well, you’ve slept all day ~ almost a full 24 hours! I had to check on you to make sure you were still breathing.” He sat up a little straighter, taking the welcome mug of coffee from his wife. “Cook fixed your snack just before she left for the day. There’s dinner waiting for you if you can make yourself get up. You can always go back to bed but get up for a bit, please Jeremy.”

“All right, Em but I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Every muscle in my body aches.” Returning the empty coffee cup to her, he sat slowly on the edge of the bed, leaning his elbows to knees, head in his hands. “Maybe I’ll have a shower and go back to bed. I don’t know about dinner, but a shower I can manage.” He kissed her on the forehead and staggered in to the bathroom. Emelina heard the shower turn on, heard moans of pleasure and “my god that hot water feels good!” She stripped the bed, put fresh sheets on and folded them down for him.

The shower turned off. “Em. I think I might have that dinner after all. I’m starving! Can you hand me my housecoat? Otherwise I’ll have to flash you!” She laughed out loud and took him his housecoat. “I’d rather we had dinner first, husband.” 

~~~~~

Dinner was finished. “I’ve eaten all I can eat. When you woke me up, I wasn’t even sure I wanted the coffee. You’re quite the saleswoman! Pushing me out of bed and sending me off to the shower.” Jeremy was shaking his head in mock disbelief. “I did not ‘send you off to the shower’ - it was your idea.” Emelina took some of their dinner dishes to the dumbwaiter. “So are you going to get dressed now?” He pulled her onto his lap. “Jeremy, I need to clear away our dinner things!” She wrested herself away from him. “And why should I get dressed. I saw the bed made up and looking all ready for something.” Em stood behind him and massaged his tight shoulders, eliciting another moan from him. “It is all ready for something, but I want to go for a walk first with you. It’s a lovely evening and you need some fresh air. I want you all limbered up and smelling of the outside, not hospital.” Jeremy looked like a chastened little boy. “Ok, mom, I’ll be a good boy and take my poor old mother for a walk. Maybe she’ll magically change back into my beautiful wife and then I’ll take her to bed.”

~~~~~

Emelina had wanted to talk with Jeremy about doing something for the staff here at the estate. Seeing him so very tired and exhausted, she had decided not to and was glad of it. “Thank you for getting me out here, Em.” Stepping out the front door, the sun almost gone, Jeremy took a deep breath of cool, fresh island air. She stood beside him, happy and content. The two not so young lovers took a stroll around the grounds. Back on the porch sitting on the wicker swinging bench, they cuddled until they both got cold. “Let’s go in, Em. I think I need to get back to bed.”

“To know when to go away and when to come closer 

is the key to any lasting relationship.”

~ Doménico Cieri Estrada

A Cat's Tale - Cat-versation

 Meow (I’ll keep it sweet just to get her attention.)

What’s up bud? You’ve already had your breakfast.

Me-yowl (You don’t get it - I want more. Hmm..Maybe if I change the subject. I’ll just saunter over to the door, wrap myself around her legs and purr) ........Me-yowl.   Me-e-yowl.

What do you want? You know I’m not taking you outside yet.

(I’ll just stare at her with my big blue-green eyes for a minute. She knows all she has to do is open the door and let me out.)  Meow (I’ll try the sweet thing again. She’s pretty stubborn - or maybe just slow.)

Where did you go? Oh, there you are - sleeping in my best chair. Bored with me? You’re not sleeping! Don’t look at me like that.

(I’ll just go back to sleep for a while. I can’t get anywhere with her - yet.) Purrrrrr, purrrrrr

~~~~~

He moved in only 10 days ago!

So - does this make me a crazy cat lady - already!? 

(p.s. - there's a blanket on the chair now, just for Jet.)

“In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods: 

they have not forgotten this.”

~ Terry Pratchett, Author

Faded

This is the first in a very long time that I’ve missed my own morning requirement to write and post on this blog. Besides visiting in Regina for ten days while meeting my great grand daughter ~ she is quite beautiful, you know ~ I had two days at home, then dashed off to Vancouver for a short, challenging family visit. After a too late night, a too early morning, a choppy sleep (accompanied by a sweet kitty), and what felt like an excruciatingly long bus ride home, I finally had a nap while attempting to listen to Bill’s Brain (about Bill Gates)! This short poem is the residue of this most recent experience.

         Faded

Few words and thoughts

when sleep hovers, 

hide behind sagging eyelids.

Kindness to myself is

quiet, comfort and warmth.

Being gentle with myself is

to slow down, rest and be at ease.

“I think the highest and lowest points are 

the important ones. Anything else is just in between”

~ Jim Morrison

Awake

A strange wind seems a-blowing

but the trees are still and quiet?

Only sparse traffic opens 

the fringed curtains on today.

The steady muscular heaviness of 

buses and trucks not yet loud 

enough to shake us all from slumber.

These rumbling sounds of the city

unnecessary for those of us already awake.

“In every sound, the hidden silence sleeps,”

~ Dejan Stojanovic,  The Creator

Room-Mates

Living with epilepsy?

A question from a stranger

difficult to answer when

epilepsy only lives with me ~

doesn’t show itself in 

unconscious flailing

a crash to the floor without warning

ragged, frightening breathing.  

Epilepsy sleeps. 

Quietly tucked in my brain 

masked by a small bit of 

medication, calming and 

grounding with yoga and 

exercise, sleeping a 

good sleep each night ~ 

most of the time.

I offer a huge dose of gratitude 

to that stranger. As long as I live 

with care ~ living with epilepsy is

easy, but not simple.

“It is not living that matters, but living rightly.”

~ Socrates

Keeping It Simple

To describe that moment when one is neither awake nor asleep is a wee bit difficult. Like clearly defining the space between one tick of the clock and the next. I felt that space this morning. At 3:30 am. And tried to ignore it. Shifting my pillows, pulling blankets up over my eyes so even the faintest morning light would be blotted out, hoping my mattress would somehow sooth me back to sleep - none of it effective. It was a push pull situation that required a simple solution when all other solutions failed. Turn the light on, get out of bed and read - napping can come later. Simple solutions always put right any power struggle.

“Make the best use of what is in your power, 

and take the rest as it happens.”

~ Epictetus

Slow Cycle

Falling asleep felt like 

fading into invisible softness

a kindness of the body

when couched in quietness

Awakening felt like

Slowly entering light and sound

A kindness of the body

when cycling back into the world.

“No day is no bad it can’t be fixed with a nap.”

~  Carrie Snow,  comedian

Listen

Listen to your thoughts

at the end of the day

restore order, settle to rest

 ~ have faith in those sleepy thoughts

they take you to bed,

pillow your head

to sleep absolutely the best.

“Pursue what catches your heart, not what catches your eyes.”

~ Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Finding Home

Finding Home

“There is nothing left to say!” Ryan flung down his pen and it bounced across the room.

“Why are you so angry, Ryan? I’ve just walked in the door. The house is a mess, dishes all in sink and the cat is yowling like you haven’t fed her all day. What is going on?” Sandy had had a long day at work, confident that when she got home it would be quiet and Ryan would make her a cup of tea. She had dreamt of the secure balance of home for the last two hours. She plunked herself down in the big green chair in the living room, dropped her purse on the floor and put her feet up on the coffee table. She never let anyone else put feet on the coffee table, but today she was too tired to care.

“Oh, honey, I’m just so frustrated. I’ve been working on this stupid novel all day and all I’ve got is a stack of papers and thousands of words. I have to have this manuscript to the editor by the end of the week. None of it is any good!  How can I send in something that doesn’t even make sense to me!” Ryan quickly scooped up all his papers, stacking them in no particular order at all, just clearing off the table. “Do you want some tea? Cat. - hush up. I’ll feed you but let me get the kettle on first. Tea, honey? Here let me take your coat.”

Sandy was almost asleep. She could hear Ryan saying something and shuffling papers, but just wanted to drift off. She felt her coat being taken from her. Ryan took her shoes off and covered her with a blanket, tucked a pillow under her head. Sandy could hear dishes being put in the sink. The cat was finally quiet except for the crunching of her kibble. The tea kettle whistled, then the aroma of mint tea and clink of a cup on the side table. Sandy smiled and snuggled under the blanket. The last she heard before slipping off into sleep was the clicking of the computer keys.

“Love is that condition in which the happiness

 of another person is essential to your own.”

~ Robert A.Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

A Soft, yet Merry, Christmas Eve!

It’s well after nine ~
I settle into my bed

Hope for the morrow
runs through my head

For time that ticks on
Christmas Eve has now come

Hope for a kind sleep
To soft night I succumb.

“Yea, all things live forever, though at times they sleep and are forgotten.”

~ H.Rider Haggard, She

What Was It? ~1

What was the biggest thought
that slipped past me today
before I could grasp the tail end.
Pull it back into me.
Store it away until now
when my fingers drain words from my mind.
Was it a moment of clarity?
Was it a flash of brilliance?
Was it amazing in it’s simplicity?
Where was it's beginning?
Big thoughts, great ideas
like iridescent soap bubbles
popped in the air around my head.
What was my biggest thought?……
Maybe it will return at three in the morning
As I turn over in bed and go back to sleep.

“Even at your best, the creative moments are still kind of fleeting.”

~ Rivers Cuomo

Stuck

Stuck again

Fingers poised

Imagination asleep

Bravery…..missing

“What if I’m stuck. Here. Forever.”

~ Kathryn Stockett, The Help

Protected or A Pillow

Two big dogs on either side may feel like great protection ~ but when they are sleeping soundly the perception could be that I am merely a pillow after another long day.

“When tough times come, it is particularly important 

to offset them with much gentle softness. Be a pillow.”

~ Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

A Peaceful Float

Theodore Turtle rested in the sunshine on the long log floating in the shallow water. 
Reginald Turtle was beside him, and then Louie, Stephan and a couple of feathered newcomers that he hadn’t met yet. 
Underwater, Theodore felt free and agile but while clambering on the log he felt heavy and awkward until the sun warmed his shell.
Sunning each morning in this little group, he had begun to trust even the newcomers because no one crowded in too much or pushed to get a good spot.
Theodore sighed a great turtle sigh, closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

“Try to be like the turtle ~ at ease in your own shell.”

~ Bill Copeland

Sleep Prepares the Way

Sleep.
The ultimate preparation for each coming day
But what's this? 

To prepare for sleep at the end of a day?

Pushing our children and ourselves to work hard, play hard and shave our sleep time away leaves little room for preparing to sleep.

Softening the edges of work and play yet keeping any joy, excitement or passion
can enhance our daily experiences.

Preparation to sleep ~
merely lowering the volume of life
softening the sound and fury of a day
gentling challenges that stir the soul
easing off the heavy boots of travel or work
calming minds filled with problems or worries
turning lights down as the sun goes down.

Awakening ~
when sleep is accepted and welcomed
when preparation has been exercised
feels refreshed and rejuvenated
for whatever shows up in the coming day.

“Sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.”

~ Thomas Dekker

The Neuroscience of Sleep by Russell Foster at:

http://www.ted.com/talks/russell_foster_why_do_we_sleep

Intention Behind Sleepy Eyes

slowly to close and shut out the light
drift off to sleep, cosy and warm
dream fanciful dreams strung across the night
like coloured party lights swaying to silent daytime tunes
fused together, reshaped ~ made silly, bizarre or sweet.

The intention of sleep ~ 
to rest ~ perchance to dream and awaken
refreshed and ready for the dawn.

“Even a soul submerged in sleep is hard at work 

and helps make something of the world.”

~ Heraclitus, Fragments

Fragments ~1

Fragments of energy

Soul and mind split, 

searching for truth and love

Guide posts of inner wisdom

faint whispers through swirling snowy static of a seizure

Fragmented energy

never rests

never settles

like a child frightened and lost

Energy fragments

like pieces of old clothing

patched, frayed and wearing thin

hurled away then grasped back 

into the safety of heavy sleep.

“At the heart of personality is the need to feel a sense

of being lovable without having to qualify for that acceptance.”

~ Paul Tournier