Imagery

In a world of gloss and glitter

we only see

the bark on the tree

the perfect roundness of a tomato

protection for the goodness deep inside.

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.”

~ Leo Tolstory, The Kreutzer Sonata

Don’t forget!  March is Epilepsy month with Purple Day for Epilepsy on March 26 each year.

Why?

Why are they here?

The flowers that grow

By sidewalks or scattered in fields

Trees shading our lives

Roots spreading shallow or deep

Is their purpose to be a joy to our hearts?

For purpose ~ is there any at all?

And so that is true for each one of us here

Our purpose comes up from our roots

To live our best selves for the gift of our lives

Sharing beauty and shade in this world.

“Roots are not in landscape or a country, or a people, they are inside you.”

~ Isabel Allende

Don’t forget!  March is Epilepsy month with Purple Day for Epilepsy on March 26 each year.

A Work Day Cometh

Stay focused on the task at hand

Keep your anchors steady on.

So much to do, so much to say

errant winds may rock each boat 

Calming kindness and compassion ~

Sturdy sails to be unfurled

Stay focused on each task at hand

And let each voice be heard.

“When walking, walk. When eating, eat.”

~ Zen proverb

Don’t forget!  March is Epilepsy month with Purple Day for Epilepsy on March 26 each year.

Identity Crisis

Anchor habits get each day started on a firm footing. Once morning has passed, filled with activities planned for the day, those anchor habits often lose their stabilizing quality. To recognize my personal afternoon anchor habits was part of yesterday’s Plan for the Day.  'Part of my plan…….., is to be alert for what they may be, adjust those of no value to today and keep ones that support this depth process.’ So what happened. Coming into my suite after my acupuncture appointment, I tried. I really did try. Setting anchor habits I returned to growing up lessons, my workplace habits upon arrival, or going to someone else’s home for a gathering. Hang up your coat. Take off your shoes - except at work - that would just be weird. Set your keys in the designated ‘key place’. The easy part was done and then the drift set in. Standing in the middle of my kitchen, with no direction, I surveyed my home. Puttering was the first thing that came to mind, which, I suppose would have been alright. Getting back to one of my projects was a ‘should do’. Starting it in the morning, it was left so I could just pick it up and move on. Finally, my book made the choice for me and my cozy green tub chair with the lovely brown foot stool. An hour, or was it two……………..needless to say, there was something missing. Alertness was one. There seemed nothing to adjust unless it was the order of the hangers in the closet - not a very valuable adjustment. Keeping ones that support the depth process? Nothing. My solution for after today's outing? Slippers. Cozy ones. A rocking chair by a window. A good book. Preparation is the first on my list for daily planning. 

Retirement, that ‘R’ word, suggests those afternoon spaces of time to me. Strongly suggested from the deepest recesses of my mind. Listening to my elders - and now I’m an elder - those spaces seem almost like core beliefs! Yesterday afternoon was like a tiny drop disturbing a glassy surface. I did not want my day chopped in half, as so many other days threaten to be. At the same time, my body was telling me that activity had better be slow. My go-to place is the kitchen whether happy, sad or just looking for something to do. Lying on the cupboard was a lovely little cookbook:  Rose’s Kitchen: A collection of recipes from the celebration of a 60th wedding anniversary combined with a 90th birthday for Uncle Jack and Auntie Phyll in 1998. It was open to Aunt Jessie’s Scones and had been on the corner of the cupboard for over a week. This recipe I’ve used ever since that celebration and most of the time with success. Yesterday’s kitchen foray was not met with the success I’ve been used to. Following recipes has never been my strong suit. I can’t see retirement creating any change. Cooking is a creative endeavour, a true core belief of mine. In this case though, I should have done some substitution research. If I had even remembered that coconut milk is high in fat, research may have been done. Oh my, the scones smelled delicious! But they looked so…so…odd!. The first batch not browning very well. Oven temperature set too low! Barely risen and swimming in oil! I wanted to throw them all out, going against my own advise to avoid such a travesty. We are so attuned to image, to what should be, that our mistake is the worst in the world making disposal the only solution. Hide that terrible mistake! 

The image of the nurse from cap and starched white apron to the scrubs of today has been adjusted with each passing generation. Each change has been asked for, talked about, and researched. The qualities that make up a nurse do not change, merely the delivery of care to those that are ill, in pain or in some way still suffering. Retirement means stepping away from an employer, a place of employment. The challenge is to accept that a specific place of employment is not one’s identity and has never been. My scones, while short and crusty, are still very tasty - buttery and citrusy. Right now I’ve retired them to a low oven. Flaked in half, their soft centres have been turned up to the heat to see if maybe they will make good crackers. And if they don’t, they are just fine as they are.

“The most difficult thing to adjust to, apparently, is peace and contentment.”

~ Henry Miller

Don’t forget!  March is Epilepsy month with Purple Day for Epilepsy on March 26 each year.

Anchoring Habits

Anchor habits. Two words that resonated with me this morning. Having read them a few weeks ago, set them aside and forgotten them, it was as though I was reading them for the first time. I have some basic anchor habits in the morning, but throughout day, any anchor habits disappear without much notice. They seem to drift away sometime after lunch. Losing that anchor, I seem to drift away as well without any clear direction unless there is some kind of busy work absolutely needing my attention. Granted, in the afternoon, most of us have been running about our day, getting things done, getting to appointments, watching the clock or calendar so in the afternoon we do feel slower. Our body clocks are actually set for an afternoon nap. How many of us take that slowed down, sometimes very sleepy feeling, seriously? Time for at least a pause whether at work outside or inside our homes. Time to say hello again to ourselves. Time to be kind to ourselves and sit with a cup of tea - or coffee. Maybe only five minutes, maybe fifteen minutes. 

Chosen anchor habits really are started in childhood when we learn to set our clothes out at night for school, brush our teeth, eat a good breakfast. As we grow into adolescence and adulthood, some of those childhood things may be put away or maybe just revised to fit a new, growing and active life. Not everyone eats breakfast! Such a foreign concept. When I was a kid, a long time ago, coming home from school, despite carrying a load of books, was all about play time. Put the books down, put on some play clothes and go play or read a book. Homework was for later. The only anchor habit was to make sure I had the right clothes on for the right task - in this case Tag or Kick the Can. Talking about this really does relate to my Guidelines for Daily Planning. When creating that plan this morning, it was the anchor habits and what I would choose to do in the afternoon that intrigued me. Sit down and stay down til bedtime? Putter and go in circles til bedtime? Cook something? It has been my experience in the world of nursing that, most people’s energy is good and some really strong in the morning. This does include staff and patients. Energy spent in activities, emotionally challenging situations or, if at home, just the everyday activities and challenges of life, normally and naturally, dissipates. Our work world, like our school world, demands that energy level does not flag - at least until we are outside of those institutions. But we all need energy to play, to know our communities, to participate in fun with family and friends, to rest and recuperate.

Anchor habits, in the morning, establish a steady gathering and storing of energy. Emotional, physical and spiritual energy. Anchor habits in the afternoon, following a day busy or quiet, may or may not have already been established. Personally, I do have some ideas for what some of them may be for me. Part of my plan for today, is to be alert for what they may be, adjust ones not of value for today and keep ones that support this depth process. Knowing the value of morning anchor habits and deciding to examine my afternoon anchor habits brings to mind an Al-Anon slogan ‘Take what you like and leave the rest’. These pieces of wisdom set judgement aside. This opportunity offers choices that will anchor us in our own lives.

“Let go of your old tired habits and plant new habits in fertile soil.”

~ Harley King

Don’t forget!  March is Epilepsy month with Purple Day for Epilepsy on March 26 each year.

Guidance Counselling?

I am a master of busy work. Puttering is soothing for me. So what is the difference? In this next month of creating a workable daily plan, I came across this stumbling block as I counted out change put aside for laundry money. The goal was a good one - I do need laundry money twice a month - specifically loonies - so saving my change seemed like a worthy goal. Otherwise I would have to get to the bank for a roll of loonies. As I was adding up my quarters to see where I stand, the ‘busy work’ thought pinged in my head like an alert on my cell phone. Am I really saving time? Or am I setting myself up for more ‘busy work’ than the time it would take for a trip to the bank, sometimes along with another errand?

All that aside, I really do like puttering. There is a soothing quality for me to puttering about my home with minor tasks, or fixing tasks, or whatever I wish to do. When I am in doubt of true meanings, I go to online dictionaries and in this case a real, old hard cover dictionary (Copyright 1976 - it’s not that old!) - just in case they disagree. You know how the English language morphs and changes. Sadly, it would seem they agree. From my 1976 Websters: ‘putter: 1. to move or act aimlessly or idly. 2. To work at random’. Not exactly the same wording on the online dictionaries, but the meanings are quite the same. Online Merriam-Webster:  ‘to spend time in a relaxed way doing small jobs and other things that are not very important.’ And believe me, I can work at random or doing small jobs for hours, until I want to pick up a book and read. Or let my iPad distract me.

For the purposes of creating guidelines for daily planning, puttering can be included, however, my thought is that a timer is needed! There’s also no one here to be the boss of me, nor would I want anyone else to be the boss of me. Seriously though, I do have three important projects that I wish to complete. Frequently a timer when writing has been very useful. Paying attention to that timer when I’m puttering and busy working also useful. Not always successful, but it has worked quite well for me - when I pay attention. At the same time, I know that putting blinders on, staying too focussed for too long is as dangerous to project completion as unchecked puttering. (Puttering can get a lot of household tasks done.)

I’ve just returned from a great weekend away with my kids in Vancouver. Yesterday, we had a lovely outing with friends for Dim Sum in the morning. Later in the day we had an Oscar party with the tenderest, most delicious pot roast and rich, fudgy chocolate cake - there was salad, potatoes and gravy but the first two mentioned were definitely the stars. Time spent like that is another issue to consider when ‘going deeper, not wider’. Time taken with family to let the work of the previous days or weeks settle in, to deepen family bonds and just plain relax and laugh. All the project work, and even puttering tires a body and mind out!

Based on this bit of enlightenment, I am revising my Daily Plan from my March 3rd blog post. Rather, re-titling it and making a couple of additions seems more realistic. Any good plan starts with guidelines, and usually much discussion to find out what they are. In that light:

Guidelines for Daily Planning

1. Be prepared
2. Allow for flexibility
3. Balance project work with puttering
4. Be alert for busy work
5. Set a timer - begin with 25 to 45 minutes.

Oh my goodness, I thought this would be easy. Deciding to review one’s life habits with clarity, without judgement, and with kindness may just get the important projects done, while realistic puttering is allowed to continue. Busy work maybe needs to be pared away, but honestly I think it might be the same thing as puttering just not accomplishing as much.

“It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. 

The question is: What are we busy about?”

~ Henry David Thoreau

Morning Sweetness

To settle in

just be mom

hear morning whispers

cuddle Purdy-cat and Eva-dog

rustle and tumble of pet food

click and squeak of door opening and closing

coffee grinder grinding, 

clatter of cups and clink of spoons

morning’s door opens 

before sun has lit the day

breathing sweetness into my heart.

“The next morning dawned bright and sweet, like ribbon candy.”

~ Sarah Addison Allen, Garden Spells