A Balancing Game

What do I write about tonight?

Something short, intelligent and brimming with wisdom 

~ or not. 

While my head 

senses my balance, 

I sense my discomfort, 

my lack of balance. 

Where does it come from ?

The inner ear, 

some kind of brain function 

 ~ both in agreement?

Or maybe something unknown?

Regardless, balance was restored 

by a good chat with a friend this afternoon 

and an evening out with other women 

to discuss matters of entertainment and food 

while watching others win door prizes.

“If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, 

then you’ve got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.”

~ Robert Fulghum,

(Author of All I Really need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten)

Bag and Baggage

My Younger self stood still

watching family life revolve and grow

curious about my place within ~

hesitant and shy

years passed within the orbit of sun and moon ~ my Older self still Stands,

curious about my place within ~

hesitant and shy

bag and baggage within my heart, 

I watch family life revolve and grow.

“By slow, thoughtful watching, you can gain much, 

as against working up a wild, panicky condition.”

~ Ernest Vincent Wright, Gadsby

On an Evening Walk - Survival by the Sidewalk

I’m not certain if this is Gertrude or George. One of them has been sitting on this very scrawny nest by a scrawnier bush, for about three weeks between sidewalk and parking lot. It is said that geese sit on their eggs for 25 to 28 days. I’ve passed it by for at least three weeks. It is also said that the gander stands guard for his mate and can be as far as 100 metres away. He will approach if the goose leaves the nest or if she is threatened. 

Over the past three weeks, I have been concerned about Gertrude’s (or George’s) well being, but walking this evening I realized that she (or he) was quite safe as it is a well lit area, with many vehicles passing by, coming to or going from the businesses in the small mall. 

Tonight was the first time that my presence was noted. As I approached, I was the recipient of ‘a look’. Her (or his) head swivelled on an elegant, graceful neck, following me as I passed by. Respectfully, I turned away, her (or his) head was tucked back under a wing and Gertrude (or George) settled once more.

I’ll be checking on them and will post any new findings.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but rather the one most adaptable to change.”

~ Clarence Darrow

Depressurized

Progress without pressure is a tough one, but my own pressure is different

 ~ a backlog of should and shouldn't block my desires, my intentions to accomplish great or ordinary things logs made of should, huge and heavy, 

depending on whose words I caught and tossed 

in the river of words in my head, 

(some carry more weight than another). 

So:

Ignore the should’s - 

after all they’re not real logs. 

If they were my head would have exploded by now.

Make it a game with colours, shapes and music ~

just take it off the top to get it done

kind of like the old game Pick Up Sticks!

 

Banish the resistance: I am smart enough to do the tough stuff.

So there! 

Once order is set ~ the order that feels right to my heart

Pressure rearranged, game played ~ I can proceed.

“Should is a futile word. It’s about what didn’t happen. 

It belongs in a parallel universe. 

It belongs in another dimension of space.”

~ Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

Re-Ordering.....

When all seems out of order

outside our homes, 

inside our heads,

seeing where our feet are

stills any fear or dread.

Are shoes in need of polish?

Or toenails painted red?

Sniffing still air around me, 

is it time for homemade bread?

Few short steps into the sun, 

see hummingbirds out of their beds ~

Look way up to treetops, ebon crows

squawk, finding mates way overhead.

Painting doomsday pictures for 

the world outside or in our heads,

keeps us stuck in overdrive

spinning tires without a tread.

So, listen to what’s deep inside 

our hearts and not our frightened heads.

Choose gratitude and fortitude,

and leave the rest unsaid.

“With all it’s sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

~ Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life

No Connection

OK Fingers ~

tell me what to do.

Send messages streaming from 

my brain, my heart, or soul. Profound or not ~ its not real depth I’m seeking,

but only words to print and send into a crowded, cloudy ether.

Well, Fingers ~

Seems you’ve missed the boat ~

no messages worth the work.

The circuit to my inner self

has no connection to my digits.

The words, definitely not profound ~

meaningless except to say that 

the cloud is crowded more today.

“Pages and pages and pages with words all over the pages. 

My goodness, what fun. What fun to write whatever words occur.”

~ Jonah Winter, Gertrude is Gertrude is Gertrude is Gertrude

Rhythm and Music ~1

Habitual steps to dancing

only one dance ever danced

can get pretty old ~ 

but safe in the knowing ~

Play new music,

  sing new songs,

stride out to find new energy.

Shift all the steps

quicken your pace ~

  or maybe slow it down.

Hear the deep, flowing music

inside your soul and

outside of your head to know 

the rhythm that keeps you safe.

“Some rules are nothing but old habits 

that people are afraid to break.”

~ Theres Fowler, Souvenir

Road Blocks and Scraps

Estimating time and distance over land, sea or in the sky

is relatively easy.

Estimating time and distance from head to heart oft encounters deep pot holes, sharp rocks, giant boulders, fierce fences, stormy weather and ...........

Estimating time and distance to meet these annoying or frightening challenges

involves digging deep for 

even the smallest scrap of courage.

“The head learns new things, but the heart forever practices old experiences.”

~ Henry Ward Beecher

Projection

It’s never about me

when I try

to project my thoughts

into other people’s heads.

It is all about me

when I turn

the projector inward

to light my mind’s dark corners.

Inside my own head

I am connected

to my heart and soul

where jostling emotions lie.

When I listen to

them all, I hear

the love and worries

that are truly all about me.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

~ Anais Nin

Pillow Fluff

My soft clenched fists pummel matted, squashed pillows not from anger but punching up rest from my restless head after a night of tossing and turning to find a calm, restful sleep.

Preparing these stoic pillows

for falling asleep so my head senses the softness of morning with a night full of dreams in the dark.

Our pillows hold our dreams ~

keep them safe until

new dreams wave and drift into

pillowed resilience while

soaking up bizarre dreams and restless nightmares

or like a potter’s wheel

molds a kaleidoscope of good dreams.

“There are as many pillows of illusion as flakes in a snow-storm. 

We wake from one dream into another dream.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Refill

My head feels empty.

My heart feels still and quiet.

Drained of thought

emotion flat and soft

curious questions quiet

in the hum the electric fireplace

work days that kept

my head humming

my feet running

my hands caring

given to someone else

while I settle and refill

my heart and my head

for the next go round.

“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.”

~ William Wordsworth

Something's Fishy - #2

Something stirred

inside of my head

it wiggled

it squiggled

but couldn’t be caught.

So I watched and I listened

and let it just swim 

through the reedy ideas 

inside of my head.

It would disappear for a day

then only a few hours

til it had grown larger

this idea of mine.

So I’ll let it grow stronger ~

give it room to become

an idea worth catching,

take it out of my head

and just let it swim!

“The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive

 but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope.”

~ John Buchan

March is Epilepsy month: Purple Day for Epilepsy on March 26 

Our awareness day is over - epilepsy is not.