No Rush, No Order

There is no rush to healing, 

no order. What is healing!? 

is it a switch on the wall 

or inside my body that I, 

or someone, should turn on 

so that my crooked self is 

straight, so it fits my clothes, 

or so the teeny, tiny spot 

in my brain is fixed, but 

it is in my power to be 

respectful of the body and brain I have, 

and care for me the way I am today. 

When I need help, 

when my courage fails,

others are always there

 to steady me. Yet healing 

is always in my hands 

~ each minute of day 

at sunrise and sunset

and in the dark of night.

“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only 

when we touch them with compassion.”

~ Buddha

To Be Whole

I learned 

my wholeness from my feet. 

Planted firmly 

on the cool grass of spring, 

my bare feet sent me a message. 

“I am your balance, 

    your place on this earth.” 

Is this a February wish

for green lawns and dandelions? 

No matter. 

I have longed for true balance 

found only when 

I nestle my toes into warm sand 

~ there I go again with 

     that wishful thinking ~ 

or (sigh) in winter, 

    flat on cold laminate. 

Wherever my feet are placed, 

my wholeness rises up from that place

as a vine of roses climbs a trellis to the sun

When that filling up flows through me, 

my being is healed in the moment, 

my cricket-y knee may be a little slow 

to catch up with the wholeness of my being 

but gentles with the wholeness of the earth.

“Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means 

embracing brokenness as an integral part of life.”

~ Parker J. Palmer, author

A Healing Time

Easing my heart is 

            a healing time 

when life inside seems 

  separate from life without. 

To cry inside 

  when work demands a smile.  

To want to scream aloud 

  when only words will do. 

To want to rage and pace 

  when calmness feels so much better. 

A healing time needs all of these things ~ 

  an ebb and a flow, 

a wild tide and a calm sea

Easing my heart is a healing time.

“Our way is not soft grass; it’s a mountain path with lots of rocks. 

But it goes upwards, forward, toward the sun.”

~ Dr. Ruth Westheimer, (1928~ 2024)

Jet's Update: "I understood every word...."

“Finally! The humans didn’t know that I understood every word said this morning. It was one more trip to the place that smelled of dogs and cats. In a private room - and I do prefer private - the humans talked. “He picks at his splint all the time even with the collar on.”  “He can have his collar off and if he pulls the splint off leave it off.” That’s all I wanted to hear. They talked more but I didn’t need to hear any more.” I started working at it as soon as I could and in a few hours I shook that annoying thing off on the floor. My leg looks rather odd, but will be better as soon as I can give it some proper exercise.”

*dictation accepted by one of ‘the humans’

“As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows 

cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.”

~ Cleveland Amory

A Pile of Pillows

When patience is

wearing thin

when one foot is 

trapped in a splint, 

when you feel like 

it will never get better, 

when you just need 

some softness in your life

find a pile of pillows 

and dig down for a nap.

“Healing takes courage, and we have courage, 

even if we have to dig a little to find it.”

~ Tori Amos

Into the Void

It’s easy to let hope 

drain drop by drop

while deep inside

healing fills spaces

that hope has abandoned

~ spaces designed to

hold light or dark,

sadness or willingness.

It can be difficult to 

decide which to choose.

“We are our choices.”

~ Jean-Paul Sartre

Standing Alone - From My Journal

My journal: Nov. 22 2016. Long before I retired, or moved, or the invasion of this virus. I was working on writing exercises that month, specifically Creating Settings. I rather liked the setting and story I created on that day. It also seemed to fit this November's Permission theme. Giving permission to ourselves to feel our feelings is important. This time of year, as the Christmas season ramps up, it is too easy to ignore our feelings in our rush to fix one more Christmas. In this time of Covid 19, far too many of us in cities, towns or country are alone. So here is my little piece:

Standing Alone

“The colour of the sea and the sky are one. Only the softness of the clouds is different from the choppy waves. All is greyness and damp. The ships flag hangs limply, wilted against the flag, too wet to be flapping in the brisk wind, wrapped around the pole trying to get out of the rain. Morning came early and in the dark wet there was little light. Only from inside the ship. Where stewards with urns of steaming coffee were posted just inside the portals. Stepping outside, not caring about the weather, I stood alone on the prow, away from the heat of the great body of passengers stirring inside the great town-ship. There is a space, a void in my heart that is as gray and dark as the morning. I know I can step inside to the warmth and camaraderie of the ship, but cling to my loneliness as one clings to a life raft. The captain says the rain will soon stop, but will my tears? I have left a life behind me that I can’t return to until I have released the pain from my heart to the elements. A pain never truly gone but no longer flooding my soul as the rains and the ocean flood all around me. There is a loneliness that heals.”

“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time 

you most need to be by yourself. Life’s cruelest irony.”

~ Douglas Coupland, Shampoo Planet

To Know

I have felt small ~ 

but not insignificant

I have felt alone ~

but seldom lonely

I have felt deep melancholy ~
healing begins in the deep.

I have felt vulnerable ~

but recognize my strength.

I have felt afraid ~

but appreciate my fear.

I have felt all my feelings ~

and know that I am human.

“The emotion that can break your heart is 

sometimes the very one that heals it.”

~ Nicholas Sparks

Act As If

Act as if

your world has not fallen apart

because it has not.

Act as if

your heart will not always bleed ~

know that faint scars will keep it safe.

Act as if

you have wisdom and strength

because you do.

Act as if

your memories are important

because they are.

Act as if

there are slices joy in every day

for they bud and bloom for the taking.

Act as if

simple tasks are recovery tasks

and know that healing takes time.

“Begin, be bold and venture to be wise.”

~ Horace

Tears

If by chance

a tear should fall

healing begins.

“We need never be ashamed of our tears.”

~ Charles Dickens, Great Expectations