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Showing posts with label Vulnerability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vulnerability. Show all posts

Monday, April 13, 2026

One Blade of Grass

From morning til night, 

without thought, 

I accept the small things.


Should I disagree with how 

long it takes the kettle to boil, 

I grumble and walk away ~ 


find something else to do while 

I wait for seconds to pass.

With grander issues like


homelessness, the price of gas

or the state of the world 

I may turn my back or 


be tormented by anger 

and frustration. I may walk away, 

or I may find the one thing 


within circles where I am

to make this life better 

while the kettle boils.


“If you restore balance in your own self, you will be 

contributing immensely to the healing of the world.”

~ Deepak Chopra

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

To Know



I have felt small ~ 

but not insignificant


I have felt alone ~

but seldom lonely


I have felt deep melancholy ~
healing begins in the deep.


I have felt vulnerable ~

but recognize my strength.


I have felt afraid ~

but appreciate my fear.


I have felt all my feelings ~

and know that I am human.


“The emotion that can break your heart is 

sometimes the very one that heals it.”

~ Nicholas Sparks

Friday, March 13, 2020

Flattening the Curve

There is a lot of great health information and a whole of hype going around today about this teeny weeny virus that quite literally has received global attention. War zones and their devastation seem not to exist. People left without home and often family streaming country to country to get away from governmental corruption has vanished. Instead our focus has swung to cruise ships and international travel, large gatherings for sports, other entertainment events and political or educational conventions. Even TV talk shows with audiences have put audiences on hold! 

This has not been just today, but has been building as status reports rain on us from various levels of government and the media. I’ve received at least four or five emailed memos from various companies regarding the details of their preventative strategies. Across the board they appear to be in lock step. ‘Flattening the curve’ was the most important phrase I heard this morning. That from a Canadian medical official in Ottawa. Listening and reading other reports, that phrase has often been used to explain why we close so many gatherings, put conditions on returning from international locales, or using good hand and facial hygiene. It all has the potential to strike paralyzing fear in anyone’s heart. 

My thoughts have often turned to Florence Nightingale in this past week. A woman famous for establishing nursing schools, bringing hygiene into hospitals and surgeons and being a strong, no nonsense woman in the late 1800’s. And here we are in 2020, back to hand washing and good hygiene. Our hospitals, nursing homes and clinics have very slowly reduced staffing at all levels so that they all need ramping up, starting with those wonderful people that clean, the nursing staff that care for the sick and all the auxiliary workers. As one friend put it yesterday on a Facebook post, all these staff members are exposed to innumerable infectious diseases on a daily basis. How would Florence Nightingale have managed us all as we scurry about being afraid, over worked and understaffed? Afraid that we’ll not have enough, certain that someone else will give us this virus that will cause our death and scrambling for our turn to be tested and treated.

We are an abundant country. Yes, we have homeless people and abject poverty here in our land. Those folks have had to fend for themselves for years while we enjoy the comforts of a home. So now, the tables have turned. The spectre of not having enough stares us in the face, bombards our ears each morning when we watch or listen to new reports. In grocery stores especially there is a franticness of customers with heads down, carts full that is not typical even on a Saturday! I won’t pretend to know what situations others are in, even as I see one more 24 pack of toilet paper being carried down the street. The strategies that are outlined for us all by our officials are good, common sense strategies to help us to flatten the curve of transmission of Covid19. They are strategies similar to those that Florence Nightingale established 400 years ago and probably would have quite briskly used them today. 

"I think one’s feelings waste themselves in words, 
they ought all to be distilled into actions
 and into actions which bring results."
~ Florence Nightingale

Basics for Flattening the Curve

  1. Wash your hands.
  2. Don’t touch your face or eyes.
  3. Learn social distancing.
  4. Use common sense and kindness.
  5. Be creative with all that you own.
  6. Know that you have and are enough.

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Hidden from View

      Hidden from View

Emerging slowly 
from the park a tall figure cloaked heavily in black
dark eyes peering cautiously
tall, hunched and quiet
back pack neatly shouldered
male or female?
young or old?
well nourished or gaunt?
only a thick cloak 
of vulnerability and sadness.

“People can be at their most vulnerable, but still tenacious at the same time.”
~ Toni Bernhard

Friday, June 8, 2018

Burn Away



 


Vulnerability - 
The ability to feel
weak and ineffective
until, breathing deep
into the embers of courage,
strength and belief in oneself
gradually re-discovered, 
burns away the acrid tastes 
of anger and fear.


“You cannot live when you are untouchable. Life is vulnerability.”
~ Edouard Boubat

Saturday, June 2, 2018

An Open Definition 2 ~ DISCOVERY ~ Writing Exercise


Daring
Innovation
Surprise
Creativity
Opportunity
Vulnerability
Enthusiasm
Respect
Youthful


“I don’t know what’s behind the curtain; only that I need to find out.”
~ Richard Paul Evans,  Lost December

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Understanding Compassion Fatigue

Adjusting temperature and speed sounds like something to be done to a washing machine, or maybe a car. Yesterday, I attended a workshop on Personal Resiliency held at the Coast Victoria Hotel. Sponsored by BCNU*, such workshops are held for those of us in the BC nursing contingent that have experienced burn-out (a very old term) in the workplace. In the thirty minute walk to the workshop, I reflected on the nature of my career while also reflecting on nature in the city. Stopping to take a photo or two along the way under grey skies decorated with orange-red leaves falling like rain in the still morning, I was struck by the great resilience of this natural world. I was certain I would be the very, very oldest still working nurse in a group of young, maturing nurses. Thought it odd that I should be attending such a workshop at this late stage in my career, but as always kept putting one foot in front of the other to see, to learn and to reconnect with nursing colleagues, no matter their age of experience, to have my own abilities to adjust the temperature and speed of my life validated and shored up.

The group was a small group of twenty one nurses. A rough estimate of the average span of careers in the room was thirty years! Only two of us were nurses with under 10 years of nursing experience. Everyone else were nurses, still working in a variety of nursing careers, from thirty years to fifty years! From Emergency Room to Intensive Care, Dialysis to Withdrawal Management, Paediatriecs to Community nursing with the Frail Elderly there was over six hundred years of active nursing experience in the conference room. None of us looked crisped on the edges, maybe a bit tired but good strong energy in the room. We sat in a circle and were assured that we would not be singing or role playing, just telling our stories. Facilitated by two experienced psychologists, they walked with us through the likes and dislikes of our careers.  They showed us that our reactions to any stressors are incredibly normal, coming from deep within our brains as physiological responses to the many traumas. Not just traumas directed at us, but the ‘vicarious’ traumas around us that we see behind the nurses station and within our patient populations on a daily basis. Our learned behaviours create the nuanced ways we, sometimes, allow those responses to manifest. Most responses are completely instinctual. While it was tempting to carry on about completely valid organizational stressors affecting us, we were redirected to the actions we each take to provide compassionate and therapeutic nursing care for our patients. The final discussions about personal resilience and the tools needed to make those adjustments was the most helpful and validating for me.

At the end of this most satisfying day, I realized that I had been more intensely focussed in the last almost two years, maybe more, on those secondary traumas that I, as one individual, am unable to fix. In short, stepping back from our work lives, stepping into our personal lives to care for ourselves, and accepting our strengths and our vulnerabilities. We do this with our families and our friends, time for reflection and for exercise, for laughter and fun never forgetting to let go of the unfixable.

“There is a cost to caring. Professionals who listen to 
stories of fear, pain and suffering may feel similar fear, 
pain and suffering because they care. Sometimes we feel 
we are losing our own sense of self to those we serve.”
~ Charles Figley, Ph.D 

*BCNU:   British Columbia Nursing Union

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

In the Midst of Turmoil

In a world of many dangers 
on the street
in our homes
in our communities
in our wider global world

We are beset with many demands
inside our busy lives
Many should do’s
Many musts
Many speak outs

When we feel so vulnerable
When our lives are shaken inadvertently
Our choices are narrowed
Our choices are finite
Out choices must satisfy the moment

When we take control of our choices
within unexpected chaos
We can settle our minds
We can support our own lives
We can begin again.

“We make choices and are in turn made by them.”
~ Sheena Iyengar, The Art of Choosing

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Wordcrafting




Bold
Responsible
Alive
Vulnerable
Enduring
Resolute
Yogi



“It is not the strength of the body that counts, 
but the strength of the spirit.”
~ J.R.R.Tolkein

Sunday, November 9, 2014

"Show Up, Be Seen, Live Brave" - Brene Brown

Personal growth does not seem to have an end point. This weekend was filled with two days of learning about the emotional traps of vulnerability and of shame. When the potentials of both of these traps are addressed on a personal level, stepping out of certain ineffective and possibly damaging behaviours is possible. This workshop, developed by Brené Brown, LLC and facilitated by Bryn Meadows, Certified Daring Way Facilitator, was illuminating and challenging. Brené Brown’s research into vulnerability expanded after she read the quote ‘it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and blood...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high acheivement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. - Theodore Roosevelt”

As small group, we were able to discuss and disclose in a safe and well run environment. I appreciated and am grateful to all the attendees and especially to Bryn for this very worthwhile weekend of growth. The vitality in the room waxed and waned with emotions supported and softened by caring and laughter. 

For more information access the websites posted:
brenébrown.com
brynmeadows@me.com
thedaringway.com 

I am attaching a re-post from my blog post from June of this year:

Remembering Shame

This inspiration came from a garbage bag and a toothpick.
An innocent looking, but used, toothpick lay on my kitchen counter.  
Not especially dirty, but used and needing disposal.

The garbage bag? 
Innocent white plastic - a clean liner to my kitchen garbage container.

vivid shaming memories of 
everything done wrong, 
been told I’ve done wrong
even been suspected of wrong doing.

Throwing it in the freshly lined kitchen garbage pail, my hope was that it wouldn’t make a hole in bottom so nasty stuff wouldn’t leak out. As I put my fruit and vegetable peels in a separate container, I quickly dismissed that as an unlikely possibility.

vivid shaming memories of
who do you think you are
you can’t do that
don’t bother trying
you shouldn’t have done that

Memories, shaped like toothpicks, do not grow as we grow.
Forgotten parts of the memory are
youth of the child or teen or young parent............
exciting inspiration like fragile balloons
life experience behind the voice of that memory.
(and that voice may have been my own! using those same words on another!)

vivid self doubt
planted deep and nurtured carefully
fed and watered with shame and tears
roots clinging to the soil around spirit
choking out healthy growth.

Once self doubt is planted 
and if memory is to be believed 100%
can there be any turning back?
Or like the weeds in the garden, 
four foot tall thistles with vicious barbs,
or the undergrowth of an untamed field
are we willing to find tools to tackle this long planted self doubt?

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”
~ Brené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me: 
Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame

Friday, February 28, 2014

The Value of Vulnerability


Vulnerability ~ an awkward word.
Messy, disconnected and frightening
Grounded in fears and ‘not good enough’
Struggling to fit wherever and with whomever

Vulnerability flattens, solidifies and opens if I stand still slowly,
clean up the mess, (and there is a mess around me today),
reconnect with life and loves a tiny bit at a time, and that starts with me!
Examine the real risks not the risks that the fear gremlin whispers softly to me.

Embrace vulnerability to recognize it’s value ~
to create colour and comfort
to restore balance and stability
to recognize reality in sunshine and darkness
to make a beautiful world that is deserved and enough.

“Vulnerabiity is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding
the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.”
~ Brene Brown, 
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms 
the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead.

Link to Brene Brown on TED talks:  

Monday, July 9, 2012

Victimization Traps

I was trapped.

Trapped by the mirror that held me.
I moved to the side and my image was split

I stepped away 
Stepped away from the mirror that held me
My eyes saw a whole new world

I was trapped
Trapped by the situation that held me
Head down, I moved when I was told

Then when I held my head up
just for a moment 
I saw myself in the mirror and smiled.

I saw in my eyes
tired sadness and
strength

I longed to see
joyous energy and
strength

I picked up the mirror
and shoved it aside 
so there was room for me to go.

I stepped past that mirror
Stepped cautiously onto a grand new world
My heart beating ever so fast.

I lifted my head and picked myself up, 
left behind the situation that held me
and forward I moved where I chose.

"This above all.  Refuse to be a victim."
 ~ Margaret Atwood