Being Alive ~1

“I just want to feel alive.” I couldn’t believe I said that! Suddenly I realized what day it was. My mom passed on this day 1971, suddenly and tragically. With that realization, I felt alive. Still missing a certain amount of energy, but I felt my toes, my skin, my face. And I felt grateful and sad. Not unhappy. The sadness had become too heavy to carry and did nothing to honour mom’s life. 

On my walk home this afternoon, I looked up at the sky, clouds barely covering the blue, through the heavy lace of old elm tree branches with awe. I no longer remember the touch of her hand or the sound of her voice; photos remind me of her face, yet I feel her presence daily - especially in the kitchen!

“I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day.”

~ Mitch Albom, For One More Day

This post dedicated to my mom.

988 Suicide Crisis Helpline

 - calls or texts to 9-8-8, free of charge.

 - the 9-8-8 service can be used by anyone in Canada, 

including children or youth

 - Go to 988.ca for more information

Learning to Write

Writing ~

Stringing words together 

from the pull of a theme or story gleaned from stray thoughts or deep commitment. 

Logical thought is useful 

for an outline, 

story paints the picture

but those stray thoughts

find where deep commitment lives.

“A writer is someone who has taught his mind to misbehave.”

~ Oscar Wilde

Brown, Bright and Brilliant

January 05, 2023

A brown December ~

patches of grey marbled snow, 

bumps of ice on sidewalks and roads

But the sun!! 

Brilliant and blinding and warm!

A glare of light in a blue sky.

A short walk after a lovely afternoon at Le Macaron, Decadent Desserts & Cafe, full of sweet treats and delicious hot drinks

where laughter and conversation

wandered through our various worlds

of grandchildren, world events, travel, books……..

“Ah, good conversation - there’s nothing like it, is there? 

The air of ideas is the only air worth breathing.”

~ Edith Wharton, novelist

https://lemacaronregina.com

On Facebook: Le Macaron, Decadent Desserts & Cafe

Before and After ~ 2

Have I ever made a pizza? If I have that’s in the Forgotten File. But I do have a pizza pan, so I must have…..a long time ago. But a couple of days ago, I made up my mind to cook something different every day. Today is was to be pizza. I hesitated, but I had all the fixings. My considered opinion at the time was that I’d better try it first before I serve it to someone else.

Disclaimer: I didn’t make my own pizza dough. Bought one of those tubes of pizza dough in the refrigerator section of the grocery store. I wanted to work with it first, see what pizza dough felt like. The other ingredients purchased were: onions that I caramelized, tomato sauce in a jar, mushrooms, feta cheese, marble cheddar cheese, pepperoni and cherry tomatoes. I sprinkled it with oregano and black pepper. 

Then I over cooked it! Good thing I was the only one I was serving pizza to tonight. The crust was, well, crusty. Very crusty. I did have a timer set, but the aroma from my kitchen told me it was past done while there were still over two minutes on the timer. It did taste quite good regardless of the crusty crust.

How many of us get tired of our own cooking? I never thought I would say that, but recently my meals have become rote and boring. I have delicious meals in the freezer that no longer taste so delicious anymore. Ordering out is just too costly, and I want to learn more about different meals. Pizza may not be considered a healthy meal - or even a meal, but my stomach is full and I did get my veggies! This pizza is too overcooked to be stored in the freezer but that is my goal for pizza making. I’ve stored it in the refrigerator for a breakfast bite and for a snack when I want one. Should be gone by tomorrow night? Freezer pizza meals will come later.

“The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. 

In cooking, you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.”

~ Julia Child

Christmas Baking

I love watching the Christmas baking contests. They are fun and pique my creative muscles. In my kitchen, Christmas baking hasn’t seen much of such baking for a long time. I did get banana muffins baked today though. 

In most of the shows that I watch, contestants have everything they may need for their product. There’s always a twist half way through. So I decided to twist myself a challenge. There was a part of me that just didn’t want to take the time to walk to the grocery store. But my fridge has needed a good cull, starting with some rather black bananas. I also wanted to make muffins - haven’t made muffins for probably 20 years or more. My next preference was using whole wheat flour and oatmeal. With those parameters in mind, I turned my attention to Google and found the perfect recipe. Their list of ingredients required ‘3 extra ripe bananas’. So my black bananas found a home - there were only two but I had one other that was merely over ripe. Spices: I doubled the amounts of cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla. Nuts: the recipe asked for crushed walnuts. Don’t have any but I have cashews and almonds. Out came the food processor to chop and mix a balance of the nuts. At the last minute I threw into the batter a good handful of dried cranberries! Digging in my cupboard I found my long unused muffin tin and a little container of muffin cups. The recipe said it made a dozen muffins, but I got a dozen muffins + a little loaf.

They are delicious. True statement: I sampled a muffin and a slice from the little loaf. One never knows - a different pan may change the taste! Just doing my duty as official taster. The only thing missing would have been a cream cheese frosting with a dusting of cinnamon - or maybe some crushed candy canes. When my challenge is to use what I have, I’ll have to make sure I have those ingredients. 

All the muffins are safely and readily accessible in the freezer. So the frosting could be for another day?

“The more you know, the more you can create. 

There’s no end to imagination in the kitchen.”

~ Julia Child

Too Big and Just Enough

Too Big and Just Enough

“You can have a cookie, mom ~ just not Rusty right now.” Annabelle couldn’t believe she said that! Rusty really was her best friend. It had been really hard to act like they didn’t like each other. They both loved Christmas and that was the only thing that made it almost easy. She had told Abby all about the card that they were making for their parents and how they had to play like they were mad at each other. Talking to her favourite teddy bear, Annabelle sighed. “I miss my brother.” 

Rusty wasn’t far away. Just outside her bedroom door he heard her talking to herself about that morning. He had known that she was just playacting. Then when he got the box of cookies, he knew they were still best friends. “I miss you too, but maybe we should stop pretending anymore. Mom and dad are worried about us. We can finish the card up here in my room. I’ve cleaned my desk off.” He hesitated. “Or we can finish it in your room. I don’t really mind all your stuffed animals. Except that really weird one that looks like it’s staring at me.”

~~~~~

Rusty had painted the Christmas tree he wanted, but he still wanted to get the girl and boy put on it. Annabelle had written “Mom and Dad you are the best parents in the world. We love you.” She couldn’t think of anything else to write. They decided that their big ideas were too big for them. At least that’s what they thought. And they didn’t want to act like they weren’t friends anymore. So, Annabelle put the offending stuffed animal in her closet, and the best friends got to work on their Christmas project. 

“Being a twin is like being born with a best friend.”

~ Tricia Marrapodi

1968 ~ 2008

The Gifts of Children

The Gifts of Children 

Their mom came into the kitchen to see what they were doing. They both had their heads down working on their homework. Even though her twins were well past the toddler stage, she still worried that something was up when it got too silent. They had been bickering for the last week and when asked if something was wrong, the answers were non-committal. Or that “Annie’s just a girl” or “Rusty’s so dumb”. So this silence was odd. Rusty raised his head and whispered “Be quiet, Annie.” She whispered back “I am being quiet!”

Rusty closed the cover of his notebook “Oh, hi mom. What are you and dad doing tonight? I’m just finishing my homework then I’m going to bed.”

Now Madge knew that something was up. Rusty? Homework and then right to bed?  “Your dad and I are watching a hockey game. I’m just out here to make some tea and get us some snacks. Do you and your sister want something?”

“No thanks, I ate lots of supper. It was really good.”

Annabelle covered her page with her arm. “No thanks mom. I don’t want to spill anything on my school work.”

“Ok kids. I’m going back with your father. I’ll come out when the tea kettle starts to sing.” Her children watched her go. They had to be sure she had left the room before they started their ‘homework’ again. 

“I guess we should have done this in your room instead of down here where mom or dad could come in.” Annabelle had suggested her room, but her brother said he couldn’t work with all the dolls and stuffed animals around. She said she couldn’t work in his room because he left all his stuff just lying around and she wasn’t going to clean it up. Their only way around it was to come down to the kitchen with some of their school books so it didn’t look suspicious. Now they were stuck. Rusty, quite an artist, had drawn the front of the Christmas card they were making. He had a Christmas tree with presents under it and attempted to draw a girl and and boy on either side. For the children, he copied from comic book characters. Annabelle was trying to write a poem that said how great their parents were, but wanted it just right. One of them had to go to a store to get the construction paper for their card. “Maybe we should just buy them something. This is really hard.” 

“No, we’ll do what we said. We still have two weeks. I’m getting a headache trying to get all the words straight. I’ll go to the store and get the construction paper. Maybe there’s some special paper for making cards. Let’s just go to our rooms now, so we don’t talk about it.”

~~~~~

“I’ve got the kettle on for tea, Grant.” Madge handed him a bowl of ice cream ~ vanilla with chocolate sauce. “I checked on the kids while I was out there. They are doing something, insisting that it’s their homework, but it looked like they were trying to make something. Sitting side by side, they covered everything up so I couldn’t see.”  Grant glanced up at his wife and smiled “Guess we’ll have to wait for Santa Claus.”

They settled back in their chairs, Madge with her sewing and Grant with the TV guide turned back to the hockey game. 

“All children have creative power.”

~ Brenda Ueland, American Writer

1891~ 1985