In the Light of Day

In early morning, 

  when fear sets in 

   

shrouding 

  the colour of the day 

  

in blackened shades of grey, 

    I find my feet, 

   

plant them carefully 

  on the slippery base of fear 

 

that drains away 

   in the light of day.

“Fear doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up.”

~ Veronica, Divergent

Unless ~ 2

Experience of a ride 

on the winds of change ~

little changes right away 

unless 

it is a dip into fear or 

an explosion of anger, 

the highs of excitement. 

Unbalanced 

by these private winds, 

I set my own danger zone 

unless 

I feel the ground beneath my feet, 

slow my pace, 

breathe deeply of the star studded sky

and decide how my moment will be.

“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”

~ Confucius

Ours Alone

Shining for a moment, until 

our fear of being laughed at 

tugs at our necks like a chain. 

To own our being after our 

life travels can be difficult. 

To be brave and claim the right to shine is ours alone.

“[N]obody likes having salt rubbed into 

their wounds, even it it is the salt of the earth.”

~ Rebecca West,  The Harsh Voice

Every Day Life

 

Eternally grateful am I 

for the winds of change 

that bring good fortune or bad. 

It may be that I am grateful

to be challenged to reach within 

to find the courage to live my days

as I’ve lived in the before times. 

Turns out that the courage is not 

challenging the wind, but my own 

fear of impending devastation. 

That fear trembles and freezes at 

the same time; the fear that threatens 

immediate destruction in everyday life, 

that fear that only I can deal with. 

The external is way beyond my abilities! 

My fear is where I live ~

where my feet are ~

where my home is. 

If I allow it to knock me over

then I’ll miss birthday parties, 

walks in the sun or snow, 

laughter with my family 

and all the every day

joys and sorrows of life.

“Courage is resistance to rear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

~ Mark Twain

Hangin' Ten

Cresting a wave of 

frustration and fear, 

it was ride the wave 

or drown. 

Never having surfed 

~ having little choice 

but to ride this wave ~ 

balance on this slippery 

surfboard keeps me afloat.

“I don’t want to not live because of my fear of what could happen.”

~ Laird Hamilton, wave rider

Who Among Us

Who among us have not felt 

the whoosh of time when 

an almost forgotten joy

or an old fear has been borne

~ not in detail ~ 

but in the bursting of heart or 

the shrinking away from hope.

It is then that we know that 

the growth of years has 

surpassed our child self.

Who among us have not known 

the brilliance of the moment when 

we welcome the forever flower of joy 

and a steady glow of hope to banish fear.

“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.”

~ Sigmund Freud

Meaning

Respect means

little to me tonight ~ 

vanished with the 

flip flop of my stomach 

as I contemplate the chaos of 

our world gone mad.

I'm angry and frightened.

But respect 

will return to me ~ 

respect for my family, 

my neighbours, 

my friends, and myself ~

choosing kindness and consideration 

over money and greed.

“Show respect to all people, but grovel to none.”

~ Tecumseh

Rent Free?

Should I be anxious? 

Should I be scared? 

Should I be angry?

Should I let someone 

or something live 

rent free in my head? 

It’s hard not to when 

all swirls doom-like  

around the world as 

the wild unruly wind today. 

By the way, it was 

34 kilometres per hour

Today changed for me

only in what I wore and 

how long I walked in the 

wind. The wind still blows 

whether by man or nature. 

Rent free? I think not.

“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, 

you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”

~ Paul Coelho, The Alchemist

Being the Boss

‘If I wasn’t afraid, I’d do it anyway.’ A piece of wisdom I heard from a wise woman, or a six year old, or maybe an ancient scribe ~ actually I read it in a book. Fear is a funny thing when it comes to voice. Vocal cords seize up, the pit of my stomach is lined with grit and gunk, and I want to freeze in place until a still small voice whispers to me ‘if you weren’t afraid, would you do it anyway?’ That question, like a cat that curls around my leg and purrs, is soft and in the way. So I get up, 

get it a treat and try to answer the question. 

Make a decision. Do I want the cat or not?

If I do want it ~ the cat, that is ~ am I willing 

to feed it? Gentle it and be the boss of my fear? 

“Never be afraid to sit a while and think.”

~ Lorraine Hansberry, American playwright, 

(May 1930- January 1965)

Hammer and Nails - A Rant

Scammers make me crazy. They are invisible ghosts, floating through wireless waves, poking their ghostly noses into anyone’s computer without regard. I admit: it is frightening. I’ve had one encounter in the past with a scammer that caught me. This one has frightened me and is just plain annoying. And rude. That snake that invades my wi-fi home - and if you’re listening out there - ‘does your mother know you do this’?! (a quote from a friend).

So how to combat the fear, fury and impatience that build up waiting for a fix: Hammer and Nails. My writing desk has needed fixing for the longest time. Finding the right sized nails, a hammer, screwdrivers to tighten up its aging joints was the start. But the solid tapping of the nails settled my rattled emotions. Then I moved furniture to put a cap on the whole mess. 

By the way - I didn’t get caught in their money grab, just the ride of their emotional rollercoaster.

“The fraudster’s greatest liability is the certainty 

that the fraud is too clever to be detected.”

~ Louis J. Freeh

Denying a Lie

A threat loomed

without a cloud 

in the sky

the floor wavered

in the stillness 

of morning

old fears flooded my mind

while my kitty purred 

at my side

I wiggled my toes,

set my feet flat 

on the floor

deep breaths

restored 

my balance

focused once more 

on the page

I wrote: ‘Good Morning’

“Don’t allow your mind to tell your heart what to do. 

The mind gives up easily.”

~ Paul Coelho