Schedules Be Gone

 

Summer time ~ 

a world of tomorrows

when schedules melt 

    in the heat 

  shift and sway 

       with the wind to 

relieve us of 

  a tedium that has 

become too normal  ~ when we 

can go our own way like 

  

  a drive down a road dappled in sunlight, 

   

      past grasses and wheat fields, 

  stroll through a farmers’ market

share an outdoor concert with friends

or just relax on a beach while 

children of all ages play in a crystal lake 

 

     to end the day in well earned sleep.

“Summertime is always the best of what might be.”

~ Charles Bowden, author

A Cat Tale ~ 1

She has finally understood.

She calls it 'yoga’

I call it normal.

So I watch as

she does this ‘yoga’

resigned, yet patient.

I just stretch and yawn

whenever I choose

while she walks about

feeding me

cleaning up after me

making my bed comfortable.

“Cats tell me without effort all that there is to know.”

~ Charles Bukowski, On Cats

Alterations and Vaccinations

Altering the shape of my day began when I stepped out my door at 7:30 am. Air, barely cool, the sun was already melting the morning. Around the lake, from shade to shade, geese and growing goslings fed and squabbled over food and territory. I walked, talked and laughed with a good friend, discussing fanciful things and wandered through more serious issues. 

With iced coffee in hand, we continued to a long snaking lineup of cars, trucks and SUV’s - a drive-through vaccination site. Air-conditioning and our iced drinks kept us as cool as possible. Second jabs for both of us, it was home for each of us. 

Returning to normal comes at a price. We have all experienced alterations in our lives: distancing, isolation, and masks. Restrictions on travel, on gatherings, jobs lost, school interruptions and so much more. As we confront this virus with restrictions and with vaccines, those of us fortunate to have escaped the virus, can slowly begin to rethread our lives.

“I miss that. I want….I need things to go back to normal.”

~ Melissa Hill, Keep You Safe

One Year Ago

It’s been one year, as of yesterday - March 11th, 2020 - when the World Health Organization declared a global pandemic of the Covid 19 virus. If I had heard only that on a news report, I may have been mildly curious. To think that my little corner of Canada would be affected would not have made much sense. If memory serves, I had met with my Walking Group, only two days before at our usual coffee shop. Rumours had already floated through Victoria about the possible news that would change all of our lives and perspectives. Businesses were beginning to close or restructure. We were hearing words like social distancing and the importance of hand washing. Masks had not yet ballooned into a subject of great consternation among the populations of the world. 

Little did our group know that, after almost sixteen years, our walking group that had already shrunk in size, would be denied the absolute pleasure of meeting every Monday morning for walking, talking and solving all the worlds problems - we had failed to be alert for a pandemic! For the first many weeks, it was as though everyone had gone silent. Streets were practically empty, no one met casually for a chat, to the library, to the movies. No one knew how long this disaster would go on, how many things would be affected and could anyone fix it. 

Very gradually, we all picked up the few pieces that we could. Now, in my group of friends, (some would call us senior citizens) I can only name one person who is truly computer literate - the rest of us do the best we can. Over this past year, out of necessity, we have blossomed - or maybe sprouted. 'Zoom'ing has allowed many of our social activities to continue. Facetime, Skype and any form of electronic communication (telephones!) has been much appreciated. Pale replacements for real face time, real hugs, laughter without an electronic tinge. Going to actual museums - but grateful for the virtual ones. Going to dance or music lessons - but grateful for the virtual ones. Book clubs meeting in actual living rooms - but grateful for the online ones. I could go on - but - I won’t.

My personal response to the familial and community effects of the pandemic? In July of last year, and at 73 years of age, with the help of my son, I uprooted myself and returned to Regina, Saskatchewan - my home province. I am still separated from many family members, but now the distance is shorter for some very important people - a son, my grandson and my great granddaughter. One of my sons  remains in Vancouver keeping his salon business active despite Public Health restrictions. Many days in this past year, it has been a challenge, but this one challenge I am so very glad I accepted. It’s become a wonderful part of my new normal.

“…they were just being normal, and they were enjoying

 that elusive state of simply BEING…”

~ Kristan Higgins, Good Luck with That

A ‘New' Normal

Potential for normal is right now.

Calling our lives a ‘new normal’ suggests

Tomorrow

Next week

Next month or

Next year

Potential for normal is right now ~

We have met 

today’s struggles and victories,

with lessons already learned,

experiences already lived through.

Potential for normal is right now.

“It’s not about what it is, it’s about what it can become.”

~ Dr, Seuss

Safe - Or Not

 

Never-ending imbalance: the feeling of the day for too many of us. When will we get back to normal? As if normal was ever a balanced state. Today, for example, it is 31 years since the tragic murder of six women at Montreal’s École Polytechnique. How normal are the lives of those families, and still for many women, since that dreadful time? 

Is normal being free to walk up to someone and greet them with a handshake or a hug? Is normal being able to just drop in on someone without wearing a mask? Is normal leaving your home, with or without your children, just to escape daily abuse? 

So many questions with one simple answer - stay where your feet are, given the situation that surrounds the world, has the world in its grip. But if your world involves abuse, take your feet to a shelter, a safe home……oh, I forgot - restrictions have compromised the availability and accessibility of these places of safety. 

I paraphrase an Edmonton physician, who related this morning, on CBC's Rosemary Barton Live: It is not the legislators that are curtailing our rights. It is the virus. This pandemic, and the resultant restrictions to protect us all, sent us all into the safety of our homes, our bubbles - except for those in abusive relationships.

It is the Covid19 virus that has us in our homes: either creatively managing our homes with jigsaw puzzles, baking bread or cookies, painting or writing, doing a lot of walking on our own or with one another, juggling kids and work at home, taking a nap whenever and wherever, or, more dangerously, being trapped, scared and lonely.  

Normalize your day if you possibly can, don’t wait for ‘it’ to become normal again. An old normal may not be a good thing. 

“She’d worn anxiety like a thick robe for 

so long that it was hard for her to take it off.”

~ Pernell Plath Meier, In Our Bones

**Authors note: Go to The Sunday Magazine for the December 06, 2020 episode on CBC Radio, to hear Piya Chattopadhyaya’s excellent interview with Pamela Cross, a feminist lawyer and legal director of Oshawa, Ontario family law support centre Luke’s Place regarding this issue.

What's Normal?

‘Normally’ only refers to 

a given circumstance

but begs comparison 

to the perceptions of others.

Nourishment for each culture

comes down from the ages

where there were no recipes

only hunger and thirst.

“It is not necessary to advertise food to hungry people, 

fuel to cold people, or houses to the homeless.”

~ John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006)

Chocolate Beef Stew

I ate the chocolate beef stew!

Beef stew.
Ordinary beef stew.
Carrots, celery, onions and delicious stewing beef.
But then add cocoa and cumin.

Ordinary
Into extraordinary
Curiosity a needed ingredient to any recipe

Taste?
Texture?
What if?

Curiosity
A baby step or a giant step
Outside of what has become normal
Just adding something different to the ordinary.

“The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.”

~ Jimmy Johnson

Check out ‘Chocolate Beef Stew - Chef Michael Smith on Google!’

'Normal' Expectations

‘I just want to be normal ~ whatever normal is.’

A statement of fact I hear each day
Normal? ~ awake, alert and living life as it comes ~ learned only in bits and pieces.

Nothing earth shattering - unless it is awe inspiring
Nothing exciting - unless it is full of silliness and fun

Normal?
When life has been blur filled and messy.
Normal could be clear and tidied up just one day at a time.

“The rabbits thought and thought. “If we’re normal and 

Leo is normal, then normal is whatever you are!”

~ Stephen Cosgrove, Leo the Lop

Keeping Secret

How does one talk about an inspiration that is not my personal secret to talk about?
Many secrets anonymously walk the streets of any town or city.
Tall or short, smiling and confident; parents or siblings; 
Non-descript or stunning; boring or entertaining; quiet or effusive ~
Secret stories of falling down and standing up and 
falling down and standing up again ~ how many times?
Too many to count………...
Always going full circle till balance is restored - one day at a time.
Motivated to avoid stigma?
Or just growing into normal?

“Many of the bravest never are known, and get no praise.

[But] that does not lessen their beauty….”

~ Louisa May Alcott

Caution ~ Normalcy Encouraged

Stay out of the bath!

You’ll drown instead of getting clean!

(And you might without caution)

Don’t ride that bike!

You’ll have a seizure and fall into traffic!

(And it can happen without caution)

Stop trying to be normal!

Definitely dangerous for you!

(And it can be without caution)

Not today ~ all cautions in place

Blue water glints and glimmers

Shouts and splashes bounce and echo

Swim and play in watery company

Seizure control ~ stable

Confidence about control and management,

learning about epilepsy

not just any old epilepsy but

individual epilepsy

Cautions and encourages

water sports and hiking

cycling and anything else possible

Safety keys unlock doors

that stigma keeps tightly locked

against normal participation in life.

Mis-Use of Language

The word ‘Addiction’ is thrown around throughout language with what appears to be a real lack of understanding about the depth of addiction. The word ‘addictive' is used as a temptor, a hook for advertising food, games, anything fun or enjoyable.

The inside of addiction is unknown to me, but I have watched the outside of addiction very closely for many years in my nursing career. The insides of the human brain and body are altered, challenged, and in general abused. Active addiction is anything but enjoyable - there may or may not be an element of fun or ‘high’ in early stages of drug or alcohol use, and even into abuse. However, alcoholics and addicts I have cared for, or have known personally, have told me that the fun stops at some undefinable point that is different for everyone. They are backed up by the research of learned academes over many decades.

Chasing the next drink or drug, keeping a stash, anger and deceit, remorse and regret replace the fun just to ‘feel normal’.  And it all leads to destruction of family ties, community ties and personal goals. 

Let’s be careful about double messages.

“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for

people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.”

~ Buddha

A Normal Cycle

Normal - a very good feeling.

That’s how I feel today

Listening to interviews with young women who finally feel normal in their lives today.

This normalcy came at a high price ~

years of undiagnosed psychiatric disorders,

struggles finding ‘the right medicine’,

active addiction,

difficulties with mental health care systems ~ 'we don't have the right program for your daughter'.

well intentioned opinions ~ ‘it’s only teenage problems’

self-mutilation

families fragmented in their ability to advocate for their loved one.

For one girl ~ 'at first, it was difficult to deal with feeling normal',

so used to riding the roller coaster of emotional ups and downs.

I am so pleased that I feel normal today - 

but a week of setting myself aside from the world

seems so miniscule beside the devastation of

untreated, 

unrecognized mental illness.

Normal, for me, is feeling like I’m home and healthy again.

I’ve been in my own home this last week,

but my health had taken a short holiday.

“Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine.”

~ Whoopi Goldberg