Private Thoughts, Public Faces
James Digby, a man with many private thoughts, was concerned. On the way to town, he was pondering about his role as butler for the Beaufort Estate, how it had changed because of the pandemic and what he did now to earn his money. He had been certain that he would have lost his position and still found that to a be a curiosity. Now he was faced with a new task. Could he ask Miss Emelina to have a dinner party? Maybe more than one in her home up the stairs. He was sure that with Dr. Jeremy’s colleagues there would be ample numbers to give Phillip some experience. When his friend Malcom had asked him to mentor his nephew, James hope his hesitation went unnoticed. There were so few butler duties left to him. Butler-ing had changed from the elegance of Miss Emelina’s parties to the humdrum of working accounts. His only breaks were when he worked with Samuel. They would walk around the manor, checking eaves and drains, shrubbery needing professional attention, problems with squirrels, rabbits or rodents. He had seldom had time for a review of the exterior with Samuel. They had always enjoyed each others company, so it was good. He, Martha and Elizabeth finally had time to review what was needed inside the manor. Even so there was little that needed fixing or replacing.
A little smile played on his face when he thought of his wife. “We worked together for so long.” His smile wrinkled at the edges of his eyes.”She was so beautiful when I first saw her. Hired at the same time. I didn’t know how I could talk to her but I would have to because she was hired as the Housekeeper who ran the place.” He had put on a rather stern look, which, as a young man, he thought was very professional. Over the years, he relaxed a bit with her, and didn’t completely understand that he had been smitten with her then. He had never been able to be anything more than Digby, the butler. Martha, intimidated by him, didn’t believe anyone who said he was a gentle kind man. Elizabeth always had good words for him. At the same time, she was Martha’s confidant. Would he have seen that, many years later, he and Martha would be married and planning retirement. That he would have two step-grandchildren - Martha’s grandchildren - who loved and respected him.
Arriving at the restaurant where he would meet Malcom and his nephew, his thoughts returned to the present. He shivered. “Why am I so nervous? Not like me at all.” More thoughts intruded. Thoughts of the sudden lockdown that seemed interminable, then still distancing from everyone even after mask mandates had been lifted. He checked in the rear view mirror, smoothed his hair, and stepped from his car. Standing tall he straightened his clothes. For James that was unnecessary. His clothes seemed to know how to behave. Always straight and orderly.
Opening the heavy glass door to the restaurant, it beeped his arrival. He held the door for a young mom trying to maneuver a stroller holding a beautiful sleeping infant. The young man, dad or maybe a brother, was laden with the paraphernalia of babies. That distraction gave James time to relax and forget own concerns. When he looked up, he spied Malcom and a young man at a table for four in the corner of the dining room. The young man looked as nervous as James felt. However, he stood before his uncle did, extending his hand in welcome. Malcolm did the same. “James it is so good to see you again. It’s been years! You’ve not changed much. Maybe a gray hair or two, ‘bout like me.” Malcolm had, in fact, become more rounded, but James thought, ‘then so am I’. “Come sit down. This is my nephew Phil, he prefers to be called Phillip now. Only his sister gets away with calling him Phil or worse.”
Taking a chair facing into the restaurant, James felt more comfortable. “Have you ordered yet? I’m pretty spoiled by our Cook’s meals so I’ll have to order something she never makes.” Phillip spoke up “We wanted to wait til you were here.” Without knowing it, James slipped into his impersonal butler persona. He beckoned a waiter over who took their drink orders and let them know that Andrea would be their waiter. James thanked her and turned to Phillip. “What made you think of being a butler when so many other types of employment are available to young people now?” Phillip thought a moment before he replied. “I don’t really know. I had heard Uncle Malcolm talk about what you did. I’m not sure it really made sense. But what I have wanted was a job where……” Andrea arrived to take their orders. James was watching her carefully to see how she had been trained, while Malcolm was pleased that his nephew wasn’t acting or speaking greater than he was. The James Digby he had known would see right through an act. Phillip had been almost like a son to him. He just wanted to steer him to the right people.
~~~~~
Their meals over and cleared away, they were left with their beverages. Desserts were refused. “I’m so sorry. I’m too full of your good food.” replies almost in unison. James had also been watching Phillip for how he handled his food, cutlery and his general mannerisms at the table. Unaware of James attention, the young man was sure that he really was watching his every move. He had noticed how he watched the waiter and his heart sunk. To break the tension, he said “To be perfectly honest, Mr. Digby, I want to do something different than everyone else. And something kind of private. I’ve driven past the Beaufort Estate recently and I just feel like it’s where I want to be. I don’t really know what your job is, but I would like to learn. If it’s not right for me I'll move on.” James relaxed. Phillip didn’t have any expectations. Not grandeur or of hard work, but was willing to try. “That’s all any of us can hope for, Phillip, to learn and to know when to move on. Now, let me give you some information about how things are at the Estate, presently. There is little real butler-ing to do. I’m sure there is a fancier term than that. I do have some ideas for at least introducing you to the role.” Malcolm ordered another coffee. He could see that he was no longer needed. The two men seemed to have hit it off. “I’ll take anything you have to offer, sir. Just getting into something different really appeals.”
“Wonderful. Can you come out tomorrow? I’ll introduce you to the other staff and to Miss Emelina. That’s Mrs. Crawford, who owns the Beaufort Estate. I’ll tell you more about her tomorrow. I like to come in by 9am, sometimes earlier, but tomorrow it’s just 9. We’ll have breakfast so come hungry.” James looked at his friend. “Your uncle is looking half asleep. I’m afraid we’ve bored him.” Malcolm sat up, looked at his watch. “I’m fine, but it’s getting past my bedtime. Phillip will fill me in on your details on the way home.” The men stood. “Well, good to see you, my friend. Thank you for seeing us.” They shook hands. “Yes, thank you, Mr. Digby.” James smiled at Phillip. “Please, call me James. If we’re going to be working together, we don’t need to be so formal.”
~~~~~
“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for
others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
~ A.A.Milne
