At One with the Sky

Ohmmmm

Breathe deeply

into the core of your being 

Clear your mind ~

let all thoughts drift away

And they have ~

Drifted away

Far, far away………

“The clouds don’t overthink; they just drift.”

~ Avijeet Das, poet and writer from India

(goodreads.com)

Burst or Bloom

When I was just a prairie farm kid, it was exciting to move from town to farm and back every year. Standing in the back of the big grain truck as it lumbered for one more load of our household. That was before I had full responsibility for myself, let alone living in a large family. Over the years, moving from home to home, apartment to apartment, excitement lost its shine til it was as dull as old cardboard. Moving has become increasingly difficult, costly and, quite frankly, annoying. 

I had always thought that excitement was something like an explosion, bursting in sparks and bright colours. Moving into adolescence, it dulled and darkened. As an adult, I’ve many times been afraid of excitement because I didn’t understand it. That it did not have to be an explosion. That sparks die out quickly and bright colours fade in the sunlight. 

This last few weeks, I’ve come to understand excitement in a very different way. Excited, I’ve had to follow a time-line for this next, and very likely, final move. I had not believed it could even be possible. The recent news projections about mortgage rate hikes in the future has not dampened my excitement. It has stayed with me, growing slowly from roots of experience and remembering. Instead of being afraid of excitement, I have savoured it each day with joy.

“It is never too late to relearn, to change and to get memories for life.”

~ Eva-Maria Hedlin, Scam Story

Between

Taking a break 

between

this and that

bits and bobs

Laughing with friends

between 

ordinary and plain

papers and cartons

Sensible plans

between

here and there

comings and goings

Coffee and snacks

between 

photos and chatting ~

being ~ not doing.

“In between goals is a thing called life that has to be lived and enjoyed.”

~ Sid Caesar

Chapter Two, Episode 88 - Assumptions - Situationally Theirs

 Assumptions

“That’s what I’ll do.” Driving back to her apartment in Hartley, she had been mulling over the conversation with her sister earlier in the week. Money. She’d never had much, always going from one little job to another. Just enough to pay the rent wherever she was living. And it never bothered her. She wasn’t a clothes horse like her sister. As long as she had a clean pair of sweats Didn’t matter what colour. “As long as they don’t have holes in them.” Her mother’s voice always reminding her that she needed to pay attention to a few details. She always smiled or laughed at such memories. 

Still talking aloud to herself she said. “A plan. That’s what I need. If it’s money that’s the problem, I don’t need to be paying for an apartment that I can barely afford. It won’t do anything for Em except be on the Estate to help her with whatever she needs. Maybe once I’m out there every day, I can do more good ~ I hope.” She rolled down the window. She’d stay in Hartley for a couple of days to put her plan in motion. For now, she would keep Em in the dark. 

~~~~~

“Digby, did you know about this?” Without knocking, Emelina strode into his office. Digby sat up straight, and stood to face his boss. “What is it, Miss Emelina? You’re troubled. Here, sit down.” He was confused, but only for a moment. “You’re talking about the balance sheet for the orchard and apiary aren’t you?” 

“Yes. Why haven’t you told me we’re in trouble? I need to know these things, Digby.” Looking more closely at the kind man who had lived and worked faithfully on the Estate, the distress on his face pained her. “I’m sorry, Digby. I’ve been rude coming in here and demanding like a…….like a……” Words failed her. She took a deep breath and handed Digby the old ledger that Dez had left with her. He took it from her and studied the pages marked ‘Orchard and Apiary Expenses/Profits’. His face smoothed, then a small smile crept on his face. “This does look quite frightening, Miss Emelina.” He recognized her sister’s writing from the many notes she had left for him. Miss Dez has done a good job of keeping track of things.” 

“Why are you smiling, Digby? This is dreadful!” It was Emelina’s turn to be confused. A patient man, Digby explained “These numbers are accurate, but they are only for the orchard and apiary. Do you recall the very odd will Mr. Michael set up?” He closed the ledger, setting it on his desk. Emelina sat back in her chair, tipped her head back and closed her eyes. “Oh, Digby, I do not remember that day. It’s still all blurred. But what does that have to do with this very serious imbalance?” She sat forward again. “What do I tell Dez? Not to worry about it?”

“When will you be seeing her again?” Digby needed to ease his employer’s  worries. “Do you have your calendar with you? Let me make an appointment with the family lawyer.” He turned to his own calendar. “Can you include my sister on that appointment. I’ll let her know about it.” 

~~~~~

Dez had been right. It was none of her business. Until now. The text message from her sister was “Appointment with family lawyer for both of us - Monday at 2pm. Let me know if that works for you.” There were no details. The lawyer?  It must be worse than she thought. Moving out to the Estate could not come soon enough. She texted “OK see you Monday. Meet me at my apartment at one.”

“Well, I guess I’d better keep packing.” She already had empty boxes stacked haphazardly in each room of her small apartment. Getting boxes hadn’t been as difficult as she thought. “I’d better eat my supper first.” She cleared space enough on her table for her pizza box and coke. Picking up a piece of pizza she opened kitchen drawers and covered her cupboard with their contents. A wad of twist ties, old batteries, useless plastic bags, an old stack of paper napkins. She stuck the last bite in her mouth. Using one of the napkins, she wiped her mouth and her fingers. Her hand with the greasy napkin hung in the air. Suddenly she stuffed everything back in the open drawer. “What if….. “ She picked up another piece of pizza. Her mouth full, she mumbled. “What if the lawyer tells us that Em has to sell of part of the Estate - will that be Martha’s duplex as well?”

Picking up the pizza box, she went into the living room, crossed to the patio doors and went outside. It was a lovely evening. Sun was low, breeze barely stirring leaves, a warm day cooling off. “Now what am I going to do? I’ve already cancelled my lease - maybe they’ll give me a new one.”

“You think you know this story, You do not.”

~ Jane Yolen, Finding Baba Yaga: A Short Novel in Verse

Lifted

 

Ever alive ~

from horse tail wisps

to expansive bubbling quilts

Powerful mists ~

from grand beauty 

to threatening heaviness

Lifting and shifting ~

embroidery for azure heights

or moisture laden blankets shot through with gold

Forever passing ~

like each day’s circumstance

always lifted when the time is right.

“None of us know what we’re capable of, 

if the circumstances were right. Or wrong.”

~ Catherine Ryan Howard, 56 Days

Two Words

Eagerly moving ~

two words holding my heart

hostage.

Hurry up ~

two words urging my feet

to keep up to the wind.

Slow down ~

two words giving me time

to breathe.

Make sense ~

two words holding my heart

with compassion.

“What a curious power words have.”

~ Tadeusz Borowski, This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen

 

Carpé Diem?

Setting up new life and living

with wrinkles and silvering hair;

with excitement and trepidation,

a question slips into my thoughts ~ 

what makes me think 

I’ll step out of my dreams?!

Outside I may look like an adult

but my insides are only three!

But ~ I’ll stand still slowly,

with one breath, one step at a time

I'll set up new life and living

with wrinkles and silvering hair.

“Keeping up the appearance of having

 all your marbles is hard work, but important.”

~ Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants