Like Moisture

Empathy gone missing

like moisture from clouds

gathered overhead muttering, 

grumbling, spitting, misting

leaving our souls dry 

thirsting for the relief

that comes from belief

in truth and kindness.

“I think we all have empathy. We may not 

have enough courage to display it.”

~ Maya Angelou

Quietude ~ RELIEF ~ Theme for August 2021

Re-doing everything………..

Eyes opened to ……..

Living again in…….

Imagining what it is still……

Empathy gone missing….

Floating on the……

“For fast acting relief, try slowing down.”

~ Lily Tomlin

Out of Order

Out of Order

“Gallantly offering his hand, Lord Guillam assisted Lady Veronica from her velvet lined carriage….....

Out of order! This should have been from the blog post written on March 8! Instead, I quite blithely went to a movie, wrote and posted for my blog a movie review of the period piece Emma. I completely forgot the ‘G’ from CHALLENGES leaving, quite insensitively, poor Lord Guillam and Lady Veronica in the limbo of 'The Cloud'. Oh well, they’ll just have to wait for some other time. There are more important things to write about today than Lords and Ladies. 

An interesting interaction I had today. I was unable and unwilling to shake hands with a new acquaintance. How rude is that!? However, with COVID19 invading not only the world but our personal spaces, habits of a life time developed over generations have been sorely challenged. Leaning my head on my hand when reading, holding my two fingers over my mouth when listening intently, wiping my eyes....the list goes on. So I set about developing a list for hand shake alternatives (research over the internet and maybe a bit of my own imagination

1. Fist bumps ~ they’ve been around a long time. But what if the bumper or the bumper hasn’t washed their hands front and back!
2. Elbow taps ~ that kind of looks like some kind of a square dance move? 
3. Toe or foot touches ~ puts me in other a vulnerable position. My balance isn’t all that great anyway, so if the other party’s balance is off - or they’re just feeling mischievous - I could be headed for the pavement, sidewalk, tile………whatever is underfoot.
4. Hand to the heart ~ looks a bit patriotic to me. The message may be lost
5. A single wave of the hand ~ now that could make one look quite regal. I’ve been trying to perfect that royal wave for years.

Lost to our human connections are beautiful hugs and welcoming handshakes. Yes, we do need to be very cautious in this really scary time, but don’t let the scare create a further loss of human connection in this chaotic, crazy old world.

Included is a photo I’ve taken of the memo at the Walk-in Clinic I go to here in Victoria, British Columbia.

Keep well everyone!

“Chaos is merely order waiting to be deciphered.”
~ José Saramago, The Double

Mid Night

It was dark. 

with eyelids closed,

I sensed the snow

I sensed the snow.

with eyelids closed,

it was dark.

“There’s no consciousness without senses and memories.”

~ Toba Beta, My Ancestor Was an Ancient Astronaut.

And Yet

Sensitivity about any waves of sadness stirs slowly in December except for those that feel it so deeply that even taking a step into each day drags as though walking through mud thick with shattered twigs and matted leaves.

All around us we are asked to feel joy,

have fun, smile and ignore our pain

‘get in the spirit’ of the season

      of joy, 

        of transformation, 

            of rebirth.

And yet 

It is our own joy that has been buried.

It is our own transformation that is to come.

It is our own rebirth from being lost that stirs slowly.

Sensitivity may come from others, 

but being sensitive to ourselves can be 

a gift full of wisdom and kindness in

this most joyous and difficult of season.

“It is because I think so much of warm and sensitive hearts, 

that I would spare them from being wounded.”

~ Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist

Wising Up ~ WISDOM ~ Theme for December 2018

I was not on the ball yesterday for a new month and a new ‘theme’ for December's blog posts. I had one errand in the afternoon and then had to go out. Went with two friends for a burger at Big Wheel Burger, to the Christmas Truck Convoy and then sit outside at a coffee shop for a Chai latte. A busy day! Now that I'm back, my ‘theme’ for December is Wisdom. 

Willingness to…..

Integrity for….

Sensitivity about….

Daring to say…….

On the road……

Maximizing time……..

“Never laugh at live dragons.”

~ J.R.R.Tolkien

Sensations of Now

Feel where your feet are

Sense balance of spirit

Focus outside of your mind

Breathe deep into your belly

Feel the voice of your heart.

“I have one aim only: to impart a fraction of the meaning of the word now.”

~ Frederick Salomon Peris

Kindness Defined

Knowledge

Intuition

Niceness

Dignity

Nobility

Ethical

Service

Sensitivity

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

~ Mark Twain

To Build a Better Home

To Build a Better Home

Birthdays are a time to put the star on the tree, as it were. Jordan had planned the tiniest of details of his party, pushing all of his staff to get everything perfect. His birthday was to celebrate his 55^th birthday and to celebrate the opening of his 10^th business. All of his businesses had been absolute successes. The only thorn in all of his plans was his nephew, Stanley. Jordan had been named Stanley’s guardian when Jordan’s brother and his wife had died tragically in a car accident when Stanley was three years old. For many years, their relationship had been magical. So while Stanley was his nephew, after all these years, their relationship was as father and son. But…..Stanley wanted more and more every day. Jordan did wonder sometimes if it was because he had given him too much as a child and a young man. He had never pushed him to be or do anything more than he wanted to. Now in his late twenties, Stanley was still needy and selfish.

Jordan’s new business was completely different. Jordan was known in his business community as a man who made money. Consumer businesses - electronics, furniture and anything else for the wannabe customers in the region. But tonight’s party was to announce the opening of a new Social Housing enterprise on the old Moorhead Estate. He had purchased the estate the year before with the original intent to create a grand new home for himself. But, his nephew Stanley had other ideas. He had been active in the Commuity Homeless Coalition for several years and had approached his uncle about developing social housing to house 20 to 25 families, including some units for single individuals. Selfish young man. Why should Jordan spend his money on people he didn’t even know? After much arm twisting, Jordan had acquiesced to his nephew’s constant pleas. Jordan thought the deal was complete. He could go ahead and have his architects and builders restructure Moorhead Arms into separate suites and apartments. But Stanley wanted to be in on all the details.  

Well, ultimately Jordan and Stanley would butt heads about these details. Stanley was not backing down and neither was his uncle. Jordan lived in a world of convenience and abundance. Those people that were homeless did not have even have the conveniences of showers, refrigerators or the security of a key in their front door. When Jordan was concerned about fancy light fixtures and plush carpeting, Stanley was concerned about building security and plumbing. 

One day there was a shouting match to end all shouting matches. Both were committed to going forward with the Social Housing enterprise. Jordan, because he found it was giving him a glowing community personna. Stanley because he had invested his life in providing for a very marginalized population. He had been aware for many years that he had been very, very fortunate to have been raised by his uncle, when foster homes could have been his lot. As evening gathered around their dissent, Jordan and Stanley realized they were getting nowhere. Sudden silence stretched the incredible tension. Continuing their fight could just erase any potential for success. They were more alike than they wanted to admit. 

Stanley was the first to speak. ‘Uncle Jordan. You are stubborn, arrogant and I love you. What can I do to make this work?’

‘Stanley, please just forgive me. I plow through things without thinking about anyone else. Just that I know best and believe I do know best. Take me to meet some of the people that live in these homes. I need to hear what they need, what they want. I don’t know that world and I want to know it.’

~~~~~

Moorhead Social Housing Estates opened successfully within the year as planned. There were still a few arguments, but they were much more quietly resolved. Jordan and Stanley listened to each other. Jordan still didn’t really understand the reasons for homelessness. Stanley still didn’t understand his uncles attitudes. Nevertheless, the business man and the social activitist were able to find a very workable and respectful common ground.

“We’re a team. It’s part of our job to help each other out, and to forgive each other quickly. Otherwise, we’d never get anything done.”

~ Jeremy Kraatz, Villains Rising

Author's note: edited January 31, 2024

A Respectful Definition

Recognition
Ethical
Sensitive
Perspective
Earnest
Consideration
Truism

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; 

respect for others guides our manners.”

~ Laurence Sterne

Repost from 30Mar2013 - The Fit of the Shoe

I was out late tonight at Hermann's Jazz Club so, logically, am late posting my blog. This is a repost with a couple of tiny edits.

"Walking a mile in another person’s shoes is a lovely aphorism for empathy. In this world of complexity and details, technology, religious dogma and secularism, it is not that easy to figure out what kind of shoes each of us wears. Only that each of us has shoes - or not!

After listening to the various stories about the epilepsy of others, and the families that support them, deciding to pay attention to the fit of my own shoes seems important. Then whether I have a mile or only a step to walk, I can be as successful as possible and better able to share what I have learned with anyone who may wish to ask.

This doesn’t mean that all of those ‘others’ are ignored, but that decisions they make and actions they take can be respected. The ‘shoes’ they wear will have a different fit than mine."

“One must know oneself.  If this does not serve to discover truth, 

it at least serves as a rule of life, and there is nothing better.”

~ Blaise Pascal

Disguising Humour

Practical jokes 

are played on some folks 

with a sign on a back that says ‘kick me’,

or a chair with a cushion saying whoopie.

Mild and such very old jokes.

Good humour is lost 

when ridicule’s the goal.

Sensitivities hurt 

when bad jokes do roll.

Is either one wrong ~ 

to not laugh at what other’s find funny?

or to laugh when someone may hurt?

The joke is on all 

when humour turns mean,

or when meanness is 

disguised as a joke.

“Ridicule often checks what is absurd, and  

fully as often smothers that which is noble.”

~ Sir Walter Scott

The Fit of the Shoe

Walking a mile in another person’s shoes is a lovely aphorism for empathy. In this world of complexity and details,  technology, religious dogma and secularism, it is not that easy to figure out what kind of shoes each of us wears. Only that each of us has shoes - or not!

After listening to the various stories about the epilepsy of others, and the families that support them, deciding to pay attention to the fit of my own shoes seems more important. Then whether I have a mile or only a step to walk, I can be as successful as possible and better able to share what I have learned to anyone who may wish to ask.

This doesn’t mean that all of those ‘others’ are ignored, but that the decisions they may make and the actions that they take be respected. The ‘shoes’ they wear will be of different sizes and have a different fit than mine.

“One must know oneself.  If this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life, and there is nothing better.”

~ Blaise Pascal