Until I Tried

“The first step is the hardest.” 

that first step is winning a mind game, when wanting to 

    do something, 

      achieve something, 

        acquire something 

but the mind game whispers of not enough. 

No matter how many successes, 

the same feelings of lack and not enough.

until with trepidation I tried ~

and filled the void with rhythm and joy of trying.

“Be always like the sea, than breaking up against 

cliffs it finds always the force to try again.”

~ Jim Morrison

Perspective ~ 5

This will be short ~

My dilemma:

Returning a gift when transportation was awkward.

My success:

I did it successfully, 

other errands done in about 3 hours, 

then home to hot soup and a crisp salad.

Ukraine’s dilemma:

Defending their country and freedoms while keeping their citizens safe.

Ukraine’s success:

Despite constant shelling they continue their fight. Few citizens are safe, many have died or been injured, almost all have lost their homes ~ 28 days and counting.

“loving people live in a loving world. 

hostile people live in a hostile world. same world.”

~ Wayne W. Dyer

That’s it, That's all!

From July, 2016 ~ 
Has nothing to do with my entry!

Successful trials……..

 ~ I’ve done it to myself again

Nothing

Nada

Zip and Zilch!

When it comes to successful trials, tonight my brain only thinks of Raymond Burr in the Perry Mason books and TV series. They ran from 1957 all the way to 2020 in many tv venues. He always had successful trials with the help of Paul Drake, private investigator and faithful secretary Della Street.

Then there’s the movie Twelve Angry Men - Broadcast originally as a TV play in 1954, it became a 1957 movie set in the jury room where the jurors make a decision in a homicide trial. One of the men finally convinced them all to bring in a not guilt verdict. There have been several remakes since that time.

That’s it folks!

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”

~ Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

Play Review: Bang Bang by Kat Sandler

Always a struggle to write a play. Writing a successful play that involves the topics of police brutality as a result of systemic racism, artistic license, and gun violence with a dash of gender equality on one stage is a struggle that goes beyond the usual. Playwright Kat Sandler was up to the challenge. The play Bang, Bang at Belfry Theatre, on Sunday afternoon was a triumph of humour, anger, and frustration culminating in a standing ovation. Bang Bang, presented at the Belfry, played in conjunction with the The Royal Manitoba Theatre Centre, Winnipeg.

These emotionally charged topics came together in the living room of Karen Hines, played by Warona Setshwaelo, a psychologist and the mother of Lila Hines ~ both of them black. Lila had returned home to live with her mother, when her career as a police officer was derailed following a serious incident when she was on duty. Tim Bernbaum played by Tom Keenan, is a playwright who was inspired to write 'a play' based on this serious incident. Lila definitely does not want to talk about this incident. While doing her job as a police officer, she shot a young black man. Tim arrives, unexpectedly and unwelcome, to talk about his play. An extremely awkward, often hilarious, and circuitous conversation takes place with Tim trying to be politically correct ~ and failing badly ~ about race (Tim is white). He, with this same awkwardness, blurts out that a movie is to be made of his play which details Lila’s experience far too closely for Lila’s liking, except for a couple of important details. Two other characters, involved in the movie, come on scene: Jackie Savage, played by Sébastion Heins; Tony Cappello, played by Alex Poch-Golden. Jackie Savage is a young man who is played the role of Lila ~ the movie company changed the gender to further usurp Lila’s story. Ultimately, there is a hilarious ‘play reading’ of Tim’s play which devolves into frustration, misunderstanding and sadness.

The skill and sensitivity that playwright Kat Sandler had in writing this play, using humour and pain, drove home the sad reality of these issues that are prevalent in our society today. In this writer’s opinion, the characters of Karen (Lila’s mother) and of Tony (Jackie’s bodyguard) were the strengths that balanced the grief, anger and anxiety of the two main characters (Lila, Tim). Lila was in deep pain, Tim only wanted to write a play and make a movie to bring all of the issues into the light. Jackie Savage (to play Lila in the 'play'), was distanced from the actual pain that Lila experienced, often shifting his opinions about the entire dynamic, only concerned with making a movie. Because of the intensity of the subjects involved and the dynamics between the actors, the language was quite blue throughout the play, which may put some people off. To accept this as a very real part of such a situation will allow any playgoer to be treated to a wonderful work of art.

“The quality of a play is the quality of its ideas.”

~ George Bernard Shaw

Bang Bang by Kat Sandler

Sébastien Heins - Jackie Savage

Tom Keenan - Tim Bernbaum

Beverly Ndukwu - Lila Hines

Alex Poch-Goldin - Tony Cappello

Warona Setshwaelo - Karen Hines

Director: Kelly Thornton

Set Designer: Ada, Parboosingh

Costume Designer: Joseph Abetria

Lighting Designer: Scott Henderson

Sound Designer: Brian Linds

Fight Director: Jacqueline Loewen

Firearms Consultant: Dave Brown

Consulting Director: Audrey Dwyer

Apprentice Director: Eric Rae

Stage Manager: Jennifer Swan

Assistant Stage Manager: Zahra Larche

Jewelled Distractions

A change to routine

may only mean a 

change in positioning

from a blank wall

to a window on a world of

hummingbirds, juncos and squirrels

attempting to distract my thoughts

with charming success

until I put pen to paper once more.

“There is never a time when new distractions will not show up; 

we sow them, so several will grow from the same seed.”

~ Seneca

Leaping through Life

Taking a leap has not been one of my preferred activities. After all, when I was 15 and attempting the annual High School Track and Field Day event of  high jump, my success was extremely limited. Although I barely skimmed over the bar set shorter than my own shortness, I landed with such a thump on the freshly raked sand, that I could barely stand up. High fives were not even invented until 1977 ~ not that I would have needed that information then. Curiosity, on the other hand, has been around for a long, long time. When I was 15, I was curious about my ability to be athletic. I wanted to leap the high jump bar gracefully, jump up and do it again. Over the years I’ve learned to take many, many leaps. Leaps of faith, leaps of bravery, leaps of joy, leaping into the unknown, leaps with a big deep breath and I’ve not always recovered from them very gracefully ~ but I do keep trying. Just no athletic stuff.

“All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous 

unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.”

~ Henry Miller

Once Upon a Time

The former Customs House by the Inner Harbour in Victoria

Where there were once 

polished floors and creaking doors, silent elevators and carpeted stairs, now there is only air.

Where once were heard

insistent telephones and old fashioned typewriters, hurrying

foot steps and business voices,

city street noise fills the space.

Where once men and women

climbed the ladders of success or just made their daily bread, their ghosts grow restless at midnight.

“Old places have soul.”

~ homeowner Sarah Anderson

The Second Loaf

A couple of weeks ago, I made my first loaf of No-Knead Bread. Successful and quite delicious. As it was disappearing at an alarming rate - still haven’t found the culprit - I made a second loaf.  I made some changes that I really didn’t think would make much different. But the texture and the taste of the bread were off. (By the way, this loaf also has disappeared. I did make a back up loaf - and again this loaf has disappeared right out of my kitchen. Whoever has disappeared them also used up my butter and my honey!) 

The changes were:

The yeast - I didn’t bring the yeast to room temperature before mixing with the flour.

The bowl - I used a much larger bowl

Rising - I had the second rise go on much longer and had it in the refrigerator for most of the second rise.

Ultimately, the second loaf was good bread, but just okay. So I made a third improved loaf  - I ate the last bit today and won’t make anymore until next week. Just have to try again!

“All sorrows are less with bread.”
~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Shifting Life's Gears

In the bus on the ferry October, 2017

My thoughts are scattered

tamping them down

trying to see a pattern

that shows direction

without success

it seemed that

only for a moment 

there was purpose

before me that drove me forward

each day with hope and excitement.

My mind reviews

all the misdirection

all of the lacks I failed to recognize

all of the needs that were needed

all that I have gained and maintained

and yet

there is more to come

that has no shape or pattern

to the direction in tomorrow

the hope and excitement to come

while I feel

like I am forever shifting gears.

“You should always know when you’re shifting gears in life. 

You should leave your era; it should  never leave you.”

~ Leontyne Price

Success vs Stigma

Success

Invisible unless

Managed by the marketplace

Discerned by a Degree

Imagined by a cleaned up image

Success

Grows from deep in the soul

Through the sludge of years

Hope hung on the heart ~ tender threads heart to head.

Stigma ~

Part of the struggle.

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: 

It is the courage to continue that counts.”

~ Winston S. Churchill

Don’t forget!  March is Epilepsy month with Purple Day for Epilepsy on March 26 each year.

Author's note: Edited July 27, 2024

Politically Polite ~ IDEAS ~ Theme for November 2016

Politically Polite

Ismelda had no idea what costume she could have worn to the office Hallowe’en party.
Donald Trump had come to mind but it just seemed too darn politically incorrect, although that would have certainly kept her in character.
Even going as Hilary Clinton wouldn’t work because she didn’t even own a pantsuit!
After hemming and hawing Ismelda had her hair done like Hilary, wore a blue suit and red tie like Donald and learned how to be polite with bad grammar.
Success!!!

“Politician = close your eyes and I will lead you, I know better.”

~ Bangambiki Habyarimana, Pearls of Eternity

Anticipation of Success

Anticipation of success 

is often greater than reality,
yet the final reality has a glow that determination has promised.

Anticipation of success 

sparkles with hope ~
shadowed by wandering clouds of self-doubt.

Anticipation of success leads the way

mapping each small successful step.

“And I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation.

There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future.”

~ Caroline Kepnes, You

Author's note: Edited January 27, 2024

A True Celebrity Tomato

I ate it.
I ate it like it was an apple.
The first tomato I have successfully grown in many years.
I am always grateful for the abundance of our grocery stores
The respect I feel is for all of the people that fill the stores with produce, meat and that stock the shelves ~
The respect I feel is for the life within the tiny seeds that shoot up from the soil,
the blossoms that bear the beautiful fruit so that I can grow and eat my own tomatoes.
Red, delicious and fresh.

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap

 but by the seeds that you plant.”

~ Robert Louis Stevenson 

(1850-1894), Scottish author

This Bunch of Golden Orbs

Catching my attention
this bunch of golden orbs on the wrong side of the fence.

This weathered fence attempting to respect boundaries between properties but for the tiny space between boards it would have been successful.

All it took was one tiny green tendril seeking sunlight for growth to continue.

“Sacred spaces can be created in any environment.”

~ Christy Turlington

Successful Escape!

I gave it much thought
An afternoon stroll from tile floors and therapeutic interactions
Sunshine again today, flowers decorating bush and trees, 
Air cool and sky blue
What challenge have I faced today? Hmmmm.
A full parking lot,
Men and women in blue outside a cafe laughing and talking
My way seemed open and clear
No lineup?!
Pleasant surprise at three thirty on a school day.
And then I stepped to the back and was met
A wall of long legs, short skirts, bed heads and coolness
My half-caffe grande latte with decreased lactose milk set down
In the midst of frappucinos, iced waters, macchiato………….
My arm snaked in between leather and denim
Pulled my latte through the laughing adolescent cluster
I left quickly to the sun and cool air
My escape was successful….and the latte delicious.

“And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! 

Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!”

~ Dr. Seuss

Grounding

Anxiety
Deep in my gut
Feeling like I’d eaten something bad
Confident that I should clean my fridge
And yet
Tension in my heart
Darkness in my head
Twisting in my gut
Tells me I’m only anxious
Confident that by taking a deep breath
Putting my feet flat on the ground
To truly see and feel even the tiny successes ~
‘Only anxiety’ will calm and disperse like an errant cloud.

“Get yourself grounded and you can 

navigate even the stormiest roads in peace.”
~ Steve Gooder

Success at the End of the Day

Setting a challenge

as I set out to travel

I used only two

when three usually sufficed

One for my shoulder

One 'neath the seat

And one to be stowed

in the hold 'neath our feet!

All luggage a jumble

never knowing for sure

if destination would be reached

in the place I planned for luggage and I to meet.

So I selected with care

the clothes to be worn

over four days of conference

and two in the air

Rolled and bunched tightly

all spaces filled in

even shopping for goodies

wound up fitting in.

With the help of a shopping bag

my change to be lighter met with success!

"A challenge only becomes an obstacle when you bow to it."

~ Ray A. Davis