The Truth Is

Actively seeking tidy endings in life has always seemed difficult for me. Whether the ending of something I’m writing, a good-bye for a life change, the story in a great movie or book, or sadly, a loved one’s life. However, when I look carefully at endings, despite the belief that endings are the hardest part, I see that the ending is really not the hard part. It is when my heart has been gripped with the fear of losing someone or something that has been exciting, precious and usually life changing. The fear is also that I will never experience or feel a love as great or as lovely as what has ended. The truth is that, within each love, ~ a mother’s love, a job, a boyfriend, a community ~ there is no replacement. What remains is a cherished memory. Letting my fear and uncertainty block the joy of new experiences has great potential to numb our lives. The truth is that letting go of fear and uncertainty is really the hardest part. It becomes rather like a Chinese finger trap ~ keeping my heart and mind immobile, focussed only on being trapped. I will only be able to find freedom when I relax, opening my hands and my heart to new experiences and opportunities.

“The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don’t.”

~ Marie Kondō

Ownership ~AUTONOMY ~Theme for March 2019

Actively seeking…..

Understanding my…….

Treating each day……

Opening doors……..

Nodding ‘hello’ to opportunity….

Outside for a breath…….

Magic happens today……

Yoda knows the questions……..

“If you just set people in motion they’ll heal themselves.”

~ Gabrielle Roth, Maps to Ecstasy

A New World Order

The biggest day has arrived. At midnight I slip into Official Retiredom. Before falling asleep, I will be myself. Waking in the morning, I will still be myself with a great difference that only I can feel. Others that have retired have navigated the same slip stream. A part of my life will change, and has begun to change in the past few weeks. Hopefully, on the outside, others may see changes. Will I will look rested and calmer? Maybe smiling more easily? It is any changes on the inside that trouble and, at the same time, excite me. Finding a toehold in fresh new confidence in this unfamiliar way of living. Oh yes, I’ve had lovely stretches of days off in my previous career. Practice runs at this new world order. In the next few days, my ‘practice runs’ should extend into a life that is satisfying and rewarding. Service to the care of others can extend outward through the written word and volunteering. I’ll continue the writing I’ve been doing in my journal and on this blog. I plan to expand on other writing projects. Volunteering will come later. For that I have some ideas, but will give my mind, heart and body a rest first so I enjoy this new beginning.

“I was numb, but it was from not knowing 

just what this new life would hold for me.”

~ Jamaica Kincaid, Lucy

The Philosophy of Getting Dressed

Seriously?! The Philosophy of Getting Dressed? In the morning? Yes. I feel that, as a newly minted Retiree ~ officially effective February 28, 2019 at midnight ~ it is my right and responsibility to be autonomous in all of my choices. Today it is specifically about morning wardrobe choices. Of course, it could relate to any other time of day.

So here goes: First choices are often correct. Or maybe they are discounted because they don’t fit with some kind of social norm. Those first choices come from somewhere deep in our pysches and seem unrelated to any kind of social norm but do relate to our own preferences, situations or beliefs. In that vein, I did an experiment this morning about what clothing I’d wear based on my first thoughts. My goal for that particular activity is based on four things: 

1. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs 

2. Social norms

3. Available clothing

4. Personal preferences

As a child I definitely didn’t know anything about Maslow let alone his Hierarchy of Needs. As an adult, I know that there are conflicting opinions about this model. Like any other steps or paths to follow, I believe that to be an effective model, relationships between the five levels need to be recognized. The five levels of need are Physiological, Safety, Love/Belonging, Esteem, Self-Actualization. But I digress into philosophy when I’m really talking about the simple act of getting dressed in the morning. This really is serious psychological work!

My second category is social norms. Most of us, taught from childhood by our parents, have instilled in us that we just can’t run around naked. It’s often too cold to be without clothes, the neighbours would talk and if one trips and falls there is nothing between skin and sidewalk for safety. Thirdly ~ is that a real word? ~ I began with one available article of clothing: basic black leggings. Living in a condo building with the laundry room in the basement, and it is laundry day for me, the thought of sneaking through the halls in my pj’s carrying all my dirty laundry did not appeal at all. I prefer looking and feeling presentable, from earrings to shoes, not just throwing on anything serviceable. As this five minute task continued I chose one item at a time, dismissing any ‘change my mind’ thoughts. When I was finally ready to step out into the communal space of hallway and laundry room, I felt comfortable and confident. Fourth and finally, personal preferences came into play when I decided I wanted to add bright colour so it is turquoise accent pieces for this black and white colour scheme. (It really could have been just black and white, but I didn’t want to play into the monochromatic colour scheme of today's morning sky.)

So there you have it - The Philosophy of Getting Dressed. Important stuff!

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

~ Nicolas Chamfort

Icing

Icing

The moon pushed the darkness farther away than a normal full moon. No need for street lights tonight, except where tall old apartment buildings threw long shadows. The streets shone. Unfortunately they weren’t wet with warm spring rain - mainly because it wasn’t spring. Harriet sighed. It had rained during the day and was not warm. West coast winters didn’t often bring snow. There were piles of half melted snow dirtied from the roads. Drivers of the few snow plows the little town owned always dumped the snow by storm drains. Storm drains that sluiced away rain water in all seasons. Harriet sighed again. Pillows of bright white snow transformed into gray icy looking rocks of greying snow melt. Harriet was normally cheerful and enthusiastic about winter and good sticky snowball snow. Rain, not so much, unless sprouting snowdrops and daffodils were awakening and needing a soft downfall. Tonight, she had planned a leisurely walk in the velvety, moonlit night. Clear skies and star sparkled skies. The neighbourhood had been quiet, save for the occasional dog barking. Nightbirds called through the quiet air. Harriet had learned that clear skies preceded by a rain only meant one thing. Ice. The temperature always dropped, often just below freezing and tonight was no exception. She carefully avoided icy lumps in the shapes of snow boots and sneakers. And so her leisurely stroll had turned into cautious two-step with only the music of crunching ice and snow, along with whispered curses.

Turning towards home and solid ground, Harriet’s foot landed on a black patch of shadowed sidewalk. Her foot slid forward til she was almost doing the splits, not something she was familiar with. The curses were a bit louder as she allowed herself to fall and tip over into……you guessed it……one of the dirty, icy piles of snow. Harriet sighed again. Her laughter pierced the cold night air, waking up birds and dogs. No one else around, Harriet sat still until her laughter subsided, got her self upright and went into her cottage. Her old orange kitty, a mug of hot chocolate and a crackling fireplace, lovely qualities of snowy winters, always made intemperate winters livable. Service to the cold and damp, whether due to rain or snow.

“Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.”

~ Mark Twain

Perennial

On this quiet Monday afternoon

bright sparkles drift up into a sunlit sky.

Yet such sparkles from parties, family and friends forever settle in my heart ~

service to lovely memories of loved ones

planted like swaths of delicate flowers ~

perennial blossoms of goodness.

“We don’t always see the miracles taking place around us, within us. 

But that doesn’t mean they aren’t happening.”

~ Julie Cantrell, Perennials

A Big Deal

Setting sail takes time:

building the boat

fitting all the fittings

rigging all the riggings

loading supplies and fuel

storing food and safety kits

keeping all trim and ship shape

finding funds to service it all

accepting help and celebration from friends when needed and offered.

Once the work is all done

~ and is it ever? ~

only then is 

the moment to unfurl the sails

with joy that a new journey has begun.

“Many are the strange chances of the world,’ said Mithrandir, 

‘and help oft shall come from the hands of the weak when the Wise falter.”

~ J.R.R.Tolkien, The Silmarillion

A Gift

Unexpected,

cherished and welcomed ~

being appreciated serves

a greater good to heart and soul.

“A page in the story of my life that I never could’ve anticipated.”

~ Emma Mills, First & Then