Down the…….
Intending to……
Reversal of…….
Entertainment for…..
Cared about……
Trust is…..
Interested parties…..
Over the……
North of the……
“The present is the ever-moving shadow that divides
yesterday from tomorrow. In that, lies hope.”
~ Frank Lloyd Wright, architect
Arguments seldom…
Coming into…
Caring for…
Excitement rolls…
Patience is…
Temptation to…
A day without…
Needing a…
Comfort and …
Entering life…
“I can be changed by what happens to me.
But I refuse to be reduced by it.’
~ Maya Angelou
There is no rush to healing,
no order. What is healing!?
is it a switch on the wall
or inside my body that I,
or someone, should turn on
so that my crooked self is
straight, so it fits my clothes,
or so the teeny, tiny spot
in my brain is fixed, but
it is in my power to be
respectful of the body and brain I have,
and care for me the way I am today.
When I need help,
when my courage fails,
others are always there
to steady me. Yet healing
is always in my hands
~ each minute of day
at sunrise and sunset
and in the dark of night.
“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only
when we touch them with compassion.”
~ Buddha
 |
| June 2024 |
There was no choice
It was surgery to fix the little bones
that hadn’t mended
~ or ~
I don’t want to think about it
So - no choice.
~~~~~
No more cats, I said ~
until he needed a home
A companion since 2020,
we’ve gotten to know each other.
We communicate pretty well but
I still struggle with the feline language
It’s in the eye contact,
the tone of voice - feline or human
The curl of my guy around my legs
His snuggling up to me as I sleep.
~~~~~
So there was no choice
It was surgery to pin the little bones
that hadn’t mended
~ or ~
I don’t want to think about it
So - no choice.
“Each cat is a singular being ~ a pulsing centre of the universe
~ with this colour eyes, this length and density of fur,
this palate of preferences, habit and dispositions.
Each with his own idiosyncrasies.”
~ David Wood, If a Cat Could Talk
Settling into home,
I am aware of space ~
storage space, finding space,
space saving, creating space,
colouring inside the lines of home,
not filling space just to fill space, providing elbow room
to work, to write, to live,
to breathe, to walk,
and keep beauty all around.
In our homes, we fill our lives with convenience and necessity.
games to play, screens to watch, gadgets to cook with…..
until our cluttered space becomes who we seem to be.
We are body and soul, heart and mind ~
the beautiful centre of all that is in our space.
“What we all dread most is a maze with no centre.”
~ G.K.Chesterton, A Father Brown Mystery: The Head of Caesar
Something to Help
Philomena, his twin sister, was to return from a cross Canada trip. Her twin, Phil was to pick her up at the airport in Hartley. They had never liked being separated as children and into their teens. Different as adults, Philomena wanted to go to University on the mainland - thus her cross Canada trip. Phil had yet to decide. “Phillie, you know exactly what you want to wear and your closet is so neat it drives me crazy. Why can’t you make a simple decision about whether to go to University or not. We both had awesome grades. But look at you! All tanned and rugged looking.” Phil gave his sister a bear hug when he saw her at the airport. “Already talking and we haven’t even got to the car yet! I’ve been working hard. Dad may be the boss doing his contractor thing, but I’ve been hanging off scaffolding on some of his buildings unless it’s been raining. And there’s not been much rain in the last couple of weeks. Weird for the Island, but I’ll take it. Tell me all about your trip.” His sister was almost asleep in her seat, but had heard every word her brother said. “Now that I’m sitting, I’m not sure I can tell you much. So sleepy. It’s.. been..a… long…..” Phil took his eyes of the road long enough to glance at his sister. “Sound asleep. I’ll just put some music on low and quiet.” The airport traffic wasn’t very heavy, and they had missed the ferry traffic to the island.
~~~~~
When Philomena woke up she didn’t know where she was. “Has the plane landed? What’s this strap across my chest…….Phillie what are you doing here?….” Rubbing her eyes, she sat up and realized where she was. “Wow! Are we almost home? I hope mom’s got something in the fridge, I’m starving. Haven’t eaten anything since Edmonton, except the cookies they give you on the plane. I feel so gross. I need a shower.” She sniffed the air around her. “Can you smell me Phillie?” Big sigh. Phil was laughing at his sister. He had hoped that the trip would cure her of her chatterbox, but on that drive home was just glad to hear her voice. “You smell just fine - like you’ve been on an airplane all day. How far did you get?” She was scrolling on her cellphone. “What? Oh, I got all the way to Winnipeg. Not exactly cross Canada, but far enough for me. I had been 100 Universities and talked to a million registrars and their secretaries. Winnipeg, Regina, Saskatoon, Calgary, Edmonton and Vancouver. Every place was nice and I applied at most of them. I had all my paperwork with me. Could have done it online, but I wanted to see the places first. Good excuse for a trip too. I’ve just gotten tired of working any old job. Want to stretch my wings.” She was silent for so long, her brother thought she’d gone back to sleep. “I just want to do something that will make a difference, not just in my world but in the whole world. Maybe….No, it isn’t.” Phil glanced at her. “What isn’t?” They always knew what the other was thinking, but he decided to check. “I’ll never make a difference in the whole world, but maybe the world of one person. And no, I don’t want to be a nurse. Mom always wanted me in nursing just because she was a nurse. Nursing is a whole lot different now. Don’t tell her but I did check out a couple of nursing programs. Not for me.” Phil turned into their parents driveway. “Look at us! Two grown adults still living at home. That’s what else I want different, brother dear. I love mom and dad to bits but I really need to be away from them to figure out my own life. And that’s what you need too, Phillie.” Her brother got her bags from the trunk of his beat up car. “Dressed to the nines all the time and you’re driving this old beater!” His sister, had taken a big leather bag from the back sea and and slung it over her shoulder. “What have you got in these suitcases, Menie! They didn’t weigh that much when I took you to the plane.” His sister’s face screwed up. “Don’t call me that! It was okay when we were kids, but my name is Philomena, thank you very much. I’ll still get the door for you so you don’t stumble over my loot.” Opening the front door, she called in “Mom! Dad! I’m home and hungry. That chicken smells delicious and is that apple pie too!” Phil barely carried her luggage through the door before their parents were there. Hugging his sister, his mother was crying and his father had a permanent grin on his face. “Hey you guys, slowdown, you’d think I’d been gone to another country for ten years. I’ve only been gone three months. And I’ve talked with you every day.”
~~~~~
Her parents had so many questions to ask their daughter. Gathering around the dinner table, it was so good to have their children home - grown or not. They were disappointed though. Phil knew what would happen. Philomena filled up her plate, looking forward to a good home cooked meal. One bite of her mashed potatoes and gravy, she laid down her fork as though it was too heavy to lift. “I have to go to bed, mom. I’ll get up in a couple of hours and have something to eat. I’m just too exhausted.” She saw the concerned, but understanding, look on her mothers face. “But I can tell you that coming in on the plane this morning, I saw the mountains and the waters. I knew then that I just wanted to be home. Tomorrow when I go through my information from the Universities, I’ll decide where I want to be. Just somewhere that I can help.” She kissed her parents, ruffled her brother’s too neat hair and went to bed. “Good night, family.”
“I cannot do all the good that the world needs.
But the world needs all the good that I can do.”
~ Jana Stanfield, Youtube musician
(from her song All the Good)
From news.un.org:
"May 5, 2023 / Health
The head of the UN World Health Organization (WHO) has declared 'with great hope' an end to COVIDD-19 as a public health emergency, stressing that is does not mean the disease is no longer a global threat.
When a career of caring ends
its door left cracked open so
all the little ways and means
of doing things can tag along
until balance begins anew
veering away from boredom
avoiding potholes on new paths
breathing deep of freer air
leaning into a new pillowed life
and never forgetting to care.
“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
~ L. Frank Baum
“For in the dew of little things
the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”
~ Kahlil Gibran
Freefall
The snow was fresh and clean, the mountainsides carved with ski trails. The weather had been perfect. Cold enough and little wind. The Crawfords had been out every day, not always early. Especially after their first day on the slopes. Every muscle in their bodies needed a late morning lie in. After that, there was no stopping them. Returning to their suite as the sun was setting, they ordered room service, showered, crawled into bed and watched movies. They talked or they were quiet. It may have been about the condition of the ski runs or how gorgeous the scenery was at the tops of the mountain. How the snow marshmallowed on to the pines curving branches down, sometimes bending the younger trees into cartoon shapes.
It was their last day when Emelina fell hard, losing one ski and landing in a heap against a tree. From behind, Jeremy watched her fall. It seemed in slow motion. He couldn’t get to her fast enough, as though his skis had just been frozen to the snow. They were almost alone, most skiers having finished and left for the day. A loud and panicked “Emelina!!!” echoed through the trees. When he finally reached her, she was sitting up, brushing the snow from her face and shoulders. She tried to stand, and cried out in pain. “Em! Are you all right? What happened?”
“I think I’m all right and I don’t really know what happened. One minute I was skiing along just fine and the next I was falling. The only thing that stopped me was this tree.” She patted the gnarled, peeling trunk. She winced. “Maybe I’m not all right, Jeremy. My ankle really hurts ~ I don’t think I can stand.” She looked up at him. “How are we going to get down? I’ve probably just sprained it but I won’t be able to tell until I get my boot off.”
“Leave your boot strapped tight and let’s get the ski off. There, now sit against the tree. You’re probably really getting cold.” He shrugged off his ski jacket and put it around her. Taking his cell phone from one of the inside pockets he punched a few buttons. “Who are you calling?” He held up his hand. “Hello. Is this Rescue?” After giving them his name and their location, he hung up. “I don’t know how they’ll find us. I just gave him the ski run we're on but after that all I could do was guess how far down the run we are. The cold is probably helping your ankle but once it warms up - oops. I guess you don’t really need to know that.” He sat on the snow beside her and put his arms around her, hoping the rescue team would get there quickly or they would both freeze solid.
~~~~~
Ten minutes seemed like ten hours. Emelina fell into a fitful sleep on Jeremy’s shoulder. When the rescue team arrived, they took her out on a stretcher. Jeremy skied along side them. Taking her to the small local hospital, her ankle was x-rayed. Emelina had been right - it was a bad sprain. They both breathed a sigh of relief. And Jeremy was right ~ once the ankle was free of the boot and warmed up, the swelling and the sprain put her in excruciating pain. The physician wanted her to stay overnight in their overflow bed but Jeremy wouldn’t hear of it. “I’m taking her back to our suite. I’m a physician, lots of ER experience, and can take care of her. We’re leaving tomorrow anyway.” They were able to get narcotic pain killers from the hospital pharmacy, enough to get them back to Hartley.
Their plans altered, he had their ski equipment shipped to the Estate. “You’re a good friend, Richard. Anytime I can do anything for you, please let me know. And I do mean that, anything, anytime.” The next day, Jeremy helped Emelina as she hobbled to the shuttle taking them back to the ferry. “I’ve called Dez and Matt. They’ll meet us at the ferry and get us home. I also called Cook and she’ll have supper ready for all of us when we get there. I’ll help you upstairs whenever you’re ready.”
“Jeremy, I love you but you’re starting to hover. You can relax now. I’m all right ~ sore but all right. I’ll keep my foot up and take my pain pills when I need them. Are you all right? You look pretty exhausted.”
“You’re right, Em. I am exhausted. Sleep was not my friend last night. I may have dozed a bit but I had to sit up and just watch you. An easy chair isn’t the most comfortable place even for a nap.” His laugh was half hearted. Although their week away from it all had been wonderful, it had ended so badly. But he really knew how much he loved Emelina.
~~~~~
Dez and Matt were at the ferry terminal just outside of Hartley, both looking worried. “I’m ok, Dez. Just a little fall and I’ve got a sprained ankle but I’m really ok. It’s Jeremy you need to worry about. He’s got 24 hours before he’s back at work. He needs to get some sleep! He’s been my doctor, my nurse and go-fer.”
Matt and Jeremy practically carried Em to Matt’s car. She started to argue with them but found it was useless so gave in and soon found herself tucked in to the front seat. They had pushed it back so she had lots of leg room, strapped her seatbelt in. Jeremy was about to get in the driver’s seat, but Matt wouldn’t let him. “You heard her, doc. You’re exhausted. Get in the back seat with Dez and we’ll get going.” Dez spoke up. “Cook’s got supper cooking. You probably don’t know it but you’re both starving after all that’s gone on since yesterday.”
Just before he leaned his head back on the seat he said: “You’re right, Dez. I am really hungry. Wake me when we get there.” And he was sound asleep. Emelina watched in her little make-up mirror on the visor. She relaxed against her head rest, adjusted her foot with a little wince and fell asleep.
“I guess it’s just you and me, Matt. Let’s get on the road.” The choked ferry traffic finally let them through to the highway. Matt turned on some music, low and calm. Music, the noise of the traffic, and deep breathing rested in the quiet.
“The fall takes no time and forever.”
~ Courtney Summers, Cracked up to Be
