Within and Without

I still think of bravery
with bruises, blood or broken bones from slogging through mud and wreckage ~
yet fear does not always come with horror and destruction.  

A clutching black hole in the chest, frozen hesitation to proceed, limbs leaden and unwilling to move

Bravery needs a deep breath
Closed eyes, face to the sun
To step away from what causes
Bruises, blood or broken bones

Bravery is within
So the withouts might stay whole

Bravery is within
So, and more importantly, healing can begin.

“Fear cuts deeper than swords.”

~ George R.R.Martin, A Game of Thrones

Symphony Evening - A Night at the Oscars

It’s been a lovely evening. Out for supper with friends and then to the symphony. I’m not really a symphony kind of girl unless the music is good. And this evening, the music was definitely good - no, not good. Wonderful. From The Wizard of Oz to Star Wars, Gone with the Wind and Frozen we were taken symphonically through decades of movie scores, led by Conductor Sean O'Loughlin. Victoria Symphony Orchestra opened with Hooray for Hollywood. The magic of the score from To Kill a Mockingbird brought scenes of the dusty lanes where Atticus Finch, Boo Radley and Scout lived, becoming alive again to me. 

Conductor O'Loughlin not only conducted The Victoria Symphony Orchestra beautifully, he told us items of historical information about the musical pieces. The most interesting to me was that he first heard Star Wars at age 5 with his dad. Tonight he bravely conducted a new arrangement of the Star Wars score ~ that he had arranged. The most fascinating musicians? The percussionists for kettle drums, drums, cymbals, xylophone all patiently waiting for their cues and then punctuating the grand musical strains with passion and energy.

After a work day I was concerned that I’d not be able to enjoy this evening out, however I needn’t have worried. It was just magic.

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words

 and that which cannot remain silent.”

~ Victori Hugo

Growing Roots

Growing up with deep roots
Twining and mingling from family and ancestors

Growing up into the distances of life and living
Miles stretch our belief in these roots until

Growing up into years that have begun to gild
Our roots, dry and brittle, threaten to vanish but

Growing up really means to be brave,
To accept that years past are just that:  passed.

Growing up means remembering and honouring our roots
Roots within us, buried deep in our hearts and minds

Growing up means nourishing the roots within us
Allowing them to spread and re-connect with family, new families and our many ancestors.

“Never forget where you came from but

 strive for a place you have never been.”

~ Nishan Panwar

A Career Choice

A Career Choice

Rosie looked at her grandmother’s picture. Her grandmother, Della, had been 24 years old at her graduation. A teacher. She had worked in the school system for many years and was loved by her students and colleagues. Well, not all of them. Her grandmother said that was not true, and wouldn’t even have been possible over so many years. But there was one that had hated her - at least to begin with. His name had been Tomàs. He spoke Spanish and her grandmother didn’t speak a word of Spanish. He walked into school angry and sullen, determined to get kicked out,  expecting to be shunned and bullied. But he was tough. He was trying to be brave. Fights and challenges didn’t scare him. His bravery was just walking into class. A class of white bread kids, rich kids and preppies. He was only there because he had promised his mother that he would get an education. He had been dragging himself into schools over and over, barely passing. No interest in anything.

And then Rosie’s grandmother was his teacher. It was her first year teaching.  The only job she had been able to get was at a school on the border of inner city and the suburbs. Teenagers. Some that came for the social life. Some that came to learn. And then there was Tomàs - and others like him. One look at Tomàs and Della thought she saw a softer side covered in fear and anger. She let him sit at the back of the room, but she challenged him to learn. When she found his natural aptitude for science, his curiosity, his detailed thinking, Della introduced him to science books, the libraries and kept encouraging him. She had loved watching his bristling shell soften. It took a long time, but Tomàs did graduate and went on to live a comfortable life with a family and friends. Always learning, always growing.

Rosie smiled. Yes, she did want to be a teacher, just like her grandmother. She sealed her application to the university. The air was clean and clear. She walked to the post office with a spring in her step.

“I am not a teacher, but an awakener.”

~ Robert Frost

Stuck

Stuck again

Fingers poised

Imagination asleep

Bravery…..missing

“What if I’m stuck. Here. Forever.”

~ Kathryn Stockett, The Help

Moments that Pass

At the end of an ordinary day
In the quiet of home and hearth
I wondered to myself
About any bright spot in today,
so very tiny that I missed its spark
perched like a hummingbird on the tip of a twig
the twitter and chirp of a fluffed out junco on the branch over my head.

no bravery, no big show
bright spots so easy to miss
but still painted in the corners of memories
~ frayed ribbons and tiny sparkles
of moments that pass as we walk through our days.

“Walk slowly through the world and pay attention.”

~ Marty Rubin

Article Review: I Knew My Daughter Smoked Pot - Stigma Magazine

I saw the magazine Stigma at work today. I read the interview with Clara Huges, flipped through the pages and came upon this article I Knew My Daugher Smoked Pot. Looked interesting, it wasn’t long and as I was on my break I had time to read it. There has been much controversy, opinion and research about marijuana and cannabinoid: the benefits, the dangers and the legality of marijuana. In the light of all of this, this article was a brave one and so well written with a surprise - it was written by a colleague, Sharlene Law, a driving force in the Umbrella Society. 

I Knew My Daughter Smoked Pot by Sharlene Law was a very clear and poignant look into one of the risks involved in marijuana use:  Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome. Symptoms of this syndrome are recurrent nausea, vomiting and severe crampy abdominal pain, very confusing and difficult to diagnose if a physician is not aware of this Syndrome.

Thanks for this Sharlene!

Find this article and previous magazine issues online at www.stigmamagazine.com.   

“Be wise enough not to be reckless, but brave enough to take great risks.”

~ Frank Warren

Contact Umbrella Society - An Addictions & Mental Health Resource at:

www.umbrellasociety.ca

Contact:

Info@stigmamagazine.com