The Zen of Magical Thinking

Magical thinking is Bright and Brilliant! The very Height of Brilliance with all the magnificence, colour and gloss of amazing Success and 

Gold bars showering good Fortune, obvious Fame, thousands of Abilities and unending Drive on Goals and Plans and Dreams.

Until

The Creeping Tarnish 

of dark magical thinking

waves its broken wand 

over the energy of this brilliance 

to reveal, with absolute certainty,

the unreality of luck, definitely no ability, and 

living in unhappy shadows while drive and energy 

drain and dribble away.

Until

both are revealed as untamed thoughts without solid grounding 

in belief of one’s own worthiness to commit ~

 - to dreams and goals imbedded in the glare of magical thinking

 - to avoiding the crumbling edges of dark magical thinking.

 - to humbly participate in life, mindful of the true flow of abilities, energy and peace.

“What makes life so frightening is that we let ourselves be carried away 

in the garbage of our whirling minds. We don’t have to do that.”

~ Joko Beck, Zen teacher 1917- 2011

Presence

Stay where your feet are

she said

beginning to flip through all

the calendar days and weeks to next year

already out of breath, 

no concern for breakfast,

no knowledge

of who or what

holds her fragile future

only knowing

she must Be Prepared

even for amazing joys or crushing blows

and then she remembers

she hasn’t put on her shoes yet.

“Nature never rushes, yet everything gets done.”

~ Donald L. Hicks, Look into the Stillness

The Hug Effect

There are always at least two sides to everything. This recent, very wonderful, weekend is no different. Today, although I woke with an incredible allergy headache - reunion, perfume and flowers do it every time - I participated in my walking group in the morning and after lunch did an hour of cardio in the pool at an Aquafit class. Granted, the walk was a bit shorter because we chose a different route. I took a couple of extra bus rides to extend my energy because I did feel pretty tired. I usually feel quite exhausted after such a day, sit down and rest a moment before heading home and then crashing for the evening with Netflix on and feet up on the sofa. Strangely that didn’t happen. I set out immediately, ran a couple of errands and came home to straighten things up in my little home.

Then it hit me. Hugs. That’s what happened to me. Hugs! Everyday for three days at the Class Reunion, there were hugs. Not just the side to side hugs, although there were quite a few, but the real heart to heart, sincere, ‘I am so glad to be with you’ hugs. There is research out there that says that hugs help all kinds of things. Huffington Post and Psychology today are both resources of this research. There were fifty-one nursing classmates and everyday someone hugged someone. We laughed with each other and were just plain silly - mature kind of silly of course. A oneness of caring spread through out any room we were in.

So what’s the down side of this? Well, if a class reunion only occurs every five years and it takes an absolute crowd of good friends to reset my ‘feel great’ status, I think I might have a problem. What if the hug-effect wears off before the next reunion in five years!? Thank goodness my kids know how to give and take amazing, loving, sincere hugs.

I think that all of us, anywhere, have gotten maybe just a bit too cautious about hugging each other in that sincere caring fashion. I’m really no different. So in this next five years, my challenge is to be mindful of that strange feeling that sets an awkward distance. As I write this, I also know that just hugging anyone, anywhere at anytime is not necessarily a good thing. We pay attention to climate change, to the tragedies of the world, to the beautiful people, to money when a simple hug on a regular basis may be what each of us, and the world, needs.

“A hug makes you feel good all day.”

~  Kathleen Keating

Nursing Friends

Fragments of words 

Pieces of sentences

Floating back and forth

Darting across the room

Punctuated by hugs and OMG!!

“I know you but tell me your name!!”

“We haven’t seen each other for 50 years!”

“Do you remember when....who...how......?”

50 years gone in an instant

Flashbacks to starched aprons and nurses caps

Curfews and how to break curfews

Word fragments flew

Sentences sections darted and danced.

52 nurses pushed the years aside in our joy

Mindful of the many friendships formed in our youth.

“There are friends, and then there are “nursing friends.”

~ by Ani Burr, RN, from the blog Scrubs

Plastic, Plastic, Plastic

One does not have to browse through Facebook long before we are shown the damage that plastic is doing to the oceans and the life within her depths. There are a lot of tragedies in this world that I have seen on TV, on Facebook, listening to conversations,…..there is just an overwhelming amount of tragedy in this world. I turn off the news, do not read the newspapers and seldom do a lot of browsing on Facebook. I know that tragedy and sadness is out there, it will occur and in my part of the world I can do little to alleviate it all. It is too, too much.

Then I saw the contents of a whale’s stomach, and then another one. Then I saw whole beaches piled high with plastic and other garbage. Before all of that I had seen a photo of a turtle who, as a hatchling, got tangled in plastic until it was just a part of the poor thing as it grew up, damaging it’s natural growth. Quite some time ago, I started buying my own plastic ware so I wouldn’t be throwing out all these disposable containers from the stores. Then, I started buying glassware, much to the chagrin of those who were afraid of glassware breaking and having to be replaced. On Monday at work, I chatted with a colleague who has been actively changing her shopping habits to avoid the use of plastic.

Today. Well, today I went shopping. My first purchase of something new, just for me, since January of this year. I hadn’t gone out with inundation of plastic in my mind, but as I travelled the city, each transaction I made involved some form of plastic. Purchases made were wrapped in plastic and paid for with plastic. At the bank, I signed a cheque with a pen made of plastic. To ride the bus, I pay with a bus pass made of plastic. I purchased groceries - meat on styrofoam (an early form of plastic) and wrapped with plastic, double bagged in plastic. The nuts and seeds I bought - in plastic bags. As I passed a shop on Cook Street, I purchased a set of marigolds - also in plastic. Back in the grocery store, because I missed one thing on my list, I had a choice between rolled oats in a plastic bag or another brand in a paper bag. The one in the paper bag cost more. But by this late in the day, I was done with plastic!! We just can't keep throwing it into the abyss that we have created!

A kit. That’s what I need. A travel kit with clean bags and containers - some of which will be reused plastic. I will continue using the plastic containers that I have but avoid, as much as possible, buying anything plastic. I know my small commitment to change my relationship with plastic will not clean up any ocean - or even a pond. Because our building has a good recycling program, that includes soft plastics and styrofoam, some of my concerns are alleviated. It is always, on a daily basis, in each little corner of the world that we can change our culture, our way of living. No memos, no task forces, no committees, just daily attention and mindfulness. 

“I’ll tell you what scares me is plastic. Plastic bags and 

plastic bottles. Why does my water have to be in 
a bloody plastic bottle? The landfill and the ocean; 
and I don’t know, I’m just terrified with 
the proliferation of plastic.”

~ Helen Mirren

To Dare

Last year's flowers - hope I get them again this year!

The patio looked bright and inviting in the morning sun. It looked warm and just the place to have breakfast. But was it? It’s been cool most days this last week. Suspicious about this Victoria weather, I hesitated. My hand hovered above my cell phone ready to check the temperature. I stopped while remembering something a man had said a few months ago in response to the question ‘what’s the weather like outside?’. Without missing a beat, he said - ‘Step outside and you’ll find out!’ I don’t recall where I was, what the weather was like or even if I was involved in the conversation.

So, squaring my shoulders, I stepped outside and was greeted by a lovely, lovely warm spring day without a hint of wind. My container gardens needed care - watering, stirring the dirt with my little fork, checking to see which plants made it through the winter and which needed putting in the compost heat. Two daffodils were poking little green shoots through dry soil, so I attended to them. I spread wildflower seeds in my larger container garden, just in one corner. Washing out drip trays, washing winter wind dust from the table and chairs and sweeping the patio felt good. A thin strip of spider web was sacrificed for a tidy, peaceful part of my home. I completely forgot about my breakfast until the patio looked ready for sunshine and lovely days. As satisfaction set in, my stomach growled reminding me of my original goal. I brought my delicious granola and a glass of cold coconut milk into the sun and felt at one with my little world.

“Fortune sides with him who dares.”

~ Virgil

A Red Walker

She had a red walker.

A flat frame style without racing stripes.

She stepped on the bus.
She folded her red walker neatly,

tucked it beside her seat.

She folded herself quietly 
beside the red walker

while teens and young adults around

laughed, joked and texted.

A serious face without expression

but aware of those around her.

She sat in her stillness until

the bell rang for Stop Requested.

Rising, she unfolded her red walker

and stepped down from the bus 

as quietly as she had come,

mindful especially of her red walker

and returning home.

 “I always try to check my motivation and 

be mindful and present in the moment.”

~ The Dalai Lama, 

The World of Tibetan Buddhism

Situational Change

My poor baby - gone to the salvage heap!

To be mindful of one’s situation is to stop. Not a screeching, sliding stop - although that sometimes may be necessary. Rather like being rear-ended by a heavier vehicle. Today at 2:48 pm it was one year since that untimely event occurred. While I was not physically injured, verified by my physician and my massage therapist, there have been a small, but significant, number of events since that time leaving me wondering about a deeper nature of injury that could have occurred. Some may say that this is a natural part of the aging process. For little untoward events to occur. And I am 70, so I guess I have been aging. But I certainly have been walking and enjoying the city (and the bus system).

Regardless, being mindful of one’s situation, whether concussion, aging or just life events is to stop. To stop and feel one’s presence in the world. Just put your bare feet on the ground - or on your living room rug and grip it with your toes. That is your presence in this world. I had a lovely cold glass of coconut milk this morning. I felt the coolness of the glass on my fingertips, and the cool flavour of the milk as I sipped it slowly. Feeling my presence in this world. This place at my dining room table, which in this moment is my place in this world. 

As I worked in my kitchen yesterday, preparing today’s lunch for work, I could hear and see and smell each item I prepared. And taste! Frozen fruit pieces that escaped my thermos found their way into my mouth. These cool spring aromas were not strong and could easily have been missed save for my search for mindfulness. The crunch as I sliced through vegetables was extremely gratifying. Enjoy your day and savour each moment as you pass through it. Even those unpleasant ones - they just may have a bit of joy for you in moments to come.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, 

but no one thinks of changing himself.”

~ Leo Tolstoy

To Be Mindful ~ 1

Midway through this month, I identified a useful and gentle theme - Mindfulness. In this busy world of multi tasking, we are inundated with surround sounds from the beeps of a garbage truck backing up, car horns unpredictable blaring, our telephones - more than just telephones - telling us of …..something…email, alerts, notifications. In the midst of all of these noises, each that have their own place, we have our own distractions in our homes and in our workplaces. Some of them are the same as those I’ve already indicated, however there are always extras. The coffee stain left by a colleague, incessant phones ringing that need answering, ….I’ll let you fill in the rest for yourself. We may share some of the same issues, but where work personalities are concerned there will definitely be differences. So this morning my blog post outlines some things I see as the benefits of Mindfulness in this rather mindless seeming world.

To Be Mindful

Momentary meditation

Intuitive imagining

Noticing nuance

Developing depth

Fanciful frameworks

Useful updrafts

Lengthening life

Natural names

Effective expectations

Soliciting sunshine

Strengthening silence

“Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior. 

You are beneath the thinker. You are the stillness beneath 

the mental noise. You are the love and joy beneath the pain.”

~ Eckhart Tolle

BeCalming

Mind full like chittering, chattering monkeys leaping branch to branch, swinging in wide arcs playing across space and time

Mindfulness 

calms chitter-chatter accepts distraction without shame or annoyance, settles swirling eddies of thought to focus on the moment.

“Let go of your mind and then be mindful. Close your ears and listen.”

~ Rumi, Love’s Ripening: Rumi on the Heart’s Journey

Creatively Listing

One of the qualities for my Daily Planning is flexibility. Not the wet noodle kind of flexibility, but bending to the moment. This morning as I was mentally reviewing my day - weather included - there were just too, too many details in my head. There seemed so many, in fact that they were tripping over each other just creating a pile of wet noodles! So, I gave in. One more list can’t hurt.

One more challenge. Not a huge one, but I’d just like to get on with things and not have to fuss about all this stuff. I didn’t want another little scrap of paper jammed in my pocket or cluttering up my already cluttered cell phone. It’s raining, windy outside, and for Victoria cold! How do I do this day!? I stood in the middle of my bedroom by my small writing desk and thought. Aha! A solution. For years, a dry erase board has been incredibly useful for mind mapping. Two of them sit patiently on my piano. (Pianos make great easels, for things besides piano books.) Getting things out of my head and down on paper - or in this case a dry erase board - creates a sorting place for the jumble in my head. 

Now I have three lists (plus the one on my cell phone). All of my lists are in specific, visual places. They are not scrunchable. This new/old one is big and I get to use coloured dry erase markers. Being erasable is especially important on this new ‘list’. At night before bed, I’ll take the eraser to it, smudging all the colours so it vanishes just like all the events of the day. Each morning a new daily plan may be outlined if my head is all a-jumble with a busy day.

This ‘solution’ takes me back a bit ago to black or green chalkboards and coloured chalk. Cleaner and definitely not as dusty. Old ways of doing things, upgraded to this year’s models, are still very valuable. In this world of technology using hands on solutions with what you have at your finger tips (or on your piano) seems more difficult. Or maybe just forgotten. Literally unheard of for younger generations, especially the youngest.

“The best solutions are often simple yet unexpected.”

~ Julian Casablanca