Making Meaning

Imitations of what intention really is, splashed all over the place ~

Broad bright beautiful brush strokes on billboards and in media ~ not just TV anymore,

subverting intention to make meaning in our lives ~

merely show us more shiny things to collect and own.

But some can be real road maps 

to show - or not show - 

life’s meaning - advertisements 

for environmental change and changes, 

for the arts whether symphonic or literary, 

for food production and preparation ~

even if any are reality TV shows. 

(I get a sour stomach from the very words ’Reality TV’). 

Being careful about what I dislike  ~ 

are they judgements or just preferences?

Can I flip judgements on their annoying heads

To find what’s missing

To find what I can do

To question whether the image fits with 

my intention to make meaning.

“Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from 

the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.”

~ Samuel Johnson, The Rambler

Anchoring Habits

Anchor habits. Two words that resonated with me this morning. Having read them a few weeks ago, set them aside and forgotten them, it was as though I was reading them for the first time. I have some basic anchor habits in the morning, but throughout day, any anchor habits disappear without much notice. They seem to drift away sometime after lunch. Losing that anchor, I seem to drift away as well without any clear direction unless there is some kind of busy work absolutely needing my attention. Granted, in the afternoon, most of us have been running about our day, getting things done, getting to appointments, watching the clock or calendar so in the afternoon we do feel slower. Our body clocks are actually set for an afternoon nap. How many of us take that slowed down, sometimes very sleepy feeling, seriously? Time for at least a pause whether at work outside or inside our homes. Time to say hello again to ourselves. Time to be kind to ourselves and sit with a cup of tea - or coffee. Maybe only five minutes, maybe fifteen minutes. 

Chosen anchor habits really are started in childhood when we learn to set our clothes out at night for school, brush our teeth, eat a good breakfast. As we grow into adolescence and adulthood, some of those childhood things may be put away or maybe just revised to fit a new, growing and active life. Not everyone eats breakfast! Such a foreign concept. When I was a kid, a long time ago, coming home from school, despite carrying a load of books, was all about play time. Put the books down, put on some play clothes and go play or read a book. Homework was for later. The only anchor habit was to make sure I had the right clothes on for the right task - in this case Tag or Kick the Can. Talking about this really does relate to my Guidelines for Daily Planning. When creating that plan this morning, it was the anchor habits and what I would choose to do in the afternoon that intrigued me. Sit down and stay down til bedtime? Putter and go in circles til bedtime? Cook something? It has been my experience in the world of nursing that, most people’s energy is good and some really strong in the morning. This does include staff and patients. Energy spent in activities, emotionally challenging situations or, if at home, just the everyday activities and challenges of life, normally and naturally, dissipates. Our work world, like our school world, demands that energy level does not flag - at least until we are outside of those institutions. But we all need energy to play, to know our communities, to participate in fun with family and friends, to rest and recuperate.

Anchor habits, in the morning, establish a steady gathering and storing of energy. Emotional, physical and spiritual energy. Anchor habits in the afternoon, following a day busy or quiet, may or may not have already been established. Personally, I do have some ideas for what some of them may be for me. Part of my plan for today, is to be alert for what they may be, adjust ones not of value for today and keep ones that support this depth process. Knowing the value of morning anchor habits and deciding to examine my afternoon anchor habits brings to mind an Al-Anon slogan ‘Take what you like and leave the rest’. These pieces of wisdom set judgement aside. This opportunity offers choices that will anchor us in our own lives.

“Let go of your old tired habits and plant new habits in fertile soil.”

~ Harley King

Don’t forget!  March is Epilepsy month with Purple Day for Epilepsy on March 26 each year.

Ledges

Pushed to limits of 

    what I know

       what might be right    

          what might grow

            what can be beautiful

All the should’s and should be’s

Advice and judgements

Words scrambling in my head

Vying for the teeniest, tiniest ledge 

Even just to begin to create

Accepting that I really don’t know everything

(often very little)

But I do know many somethings 

     that I do know

       that might be right    

          that might grow

            that can be beautiful

And what I do know is those teeniest, tiniest of ledges

It’s just finding them that’s hard!

“The garden of the world has no limits, except in your mind.”

~ Rumi

Judgement

"Trust your judgement" ~ in word, intention and deed

"Do not judge others" ~ whether ‘tis their word, intention or deed

Double messages that whirl like dry leaves spinning in the street pushed along by the nearest passing breeze.

Judgement without compassion, without understanding blows as cold as a winter wind spinning dry, dusty snow.

Any life is as mysterious as the trajectory of stars and planets in the sky. Each life is subject only to universal forces we cannot see or understand.

“We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; 

but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.”

~ Henry Ward Beecher

Self Doubt Scrambles!

Crisis lit twin flames of worry and anger

fueled by adrenalin sending self doubt scrambling across the room.

Clinical judgement in a fragile moment reacted toward apparent intolerance.

Firm words spoken with assurance maintained peace while calm was restored.

Self doubt remained in hiding.

“Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.”

~ Mahatma Gandhi

Bouncing Back

Stigma

silently invisible with loud voices

thick, spongy walls of judgement

blocking real advances

broken bits swept under the rug 

believability challenged and strained

bouncing back ~ 

    challenged and strained

“Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.”

~ Mahatma Gandhi

Unwelcome Voices

Voices in my head.

Voices that pass judgement 

on me and my actions.

Voices which criticize

their sting unmistakable -

attached to old memories.

Old tapes play 

like stuck records.

Are they 78's or 45's?

If a calmer, gentler voice should prevail

why do I 

ignore it,

minimize it,

push it aside?

Does that voice not 

deserve my attention,

have a solution?

A new thought strikes a trembling chord:

I have given all of my own thoughts 

names

dates

places

with space in my head.

No charge except to me.

I’ll send all the names back 

to their original memories

collecting their cards of judgment

for review.

I’ll see if I am telling myself the truth

by keeping these named cards, or

if I have tarnished memories 

because of one or two remote events.

“We do not remember days, we remember moments. The

richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten.”

~ Cesare Pavese