Grief Recycled

Humour caught off guard one day by clouds, lightening, thunder ~ a horrendous storm crashed in flooding my soul

sending humour flinging away with a violent rush of deep, deep grief and anguish

voices echoed around me like fog horns in a harbour

slowly, slowly creeping through thick, thick cloud

I felt for life around me.

Slowly heavy cloud faded from 

deep slate grey to 

dirty gray to 

brightening gray 

by the warmth of family and friends

I tried to share in their laughter but

my voice was tinny and false

my heart still raw and sore

My children and gardens

kittens and puppies 

anything that grew

the only real softness I allowed to come close to my heart.

One day ~ I don’t know when ~

I tentatively stepped into the light of real joy

tears of laughter washed cloudy residue from my eyes

my heart glowed with gladness.  

The glow was short lived but I knew 

that I would return to the joy.

                         *****

Today I smiled deep inside my heart when

I saw my neighbour’s calico kitty today 

perched on empty recycling bags.

laughter and joy perch on my tattered old memories

recycled kindly as story and lesson

thick clouds that seldom visit any more.

“While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till

it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it.”

~  Samuel Johnson